"[singing] Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend, Sweeney! You sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? You sir! No one's in the chair. Come on, come on! Sweeney's waiting. I want you bleeders. You sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy. Not 1 man... No, nor 10 men... Nor 100 can assuage me. I will have you! And I will get him back even as he gloats; In the meantime, I'll practice on less honorable throats... And my Lucy lies in ashes, and I'll never see my girl again. But the work waits! I'm alive at last, and I'm full of joy!"

"[holding up one of his razors] At last! My arm is complete again!"

"I can guarantee the closest shave you'll ever know."

"There's a hole in the world/like a great black pit/and it's filled with people/who are filled with shit/and the vermin of the world inhabit it."

"The hunger has returned to Mr. Brooks' brain. It never really left."

"Lindsay Crouse - Captain Lister"

"Aisha Hinds - Nancy Hart"

"Danielle Panabaker - Jane Brooks"

"Ruben Santiago-Hudson - Detective Hawkins"

"Marg Helgenberger - Emma Brooks"

"William Hurt - Marshall"

"Dane Cook - Mr. Smith / Graves Baffert"

"Demi Moore - Detective Tracy Atwood"

"Kevin Costner - Earl Brooks"

"A crime is only as perfect as the mind behind it."

"Sometimes, the man who has everything... has everything to hide."

"[to her ex-husband] Jesse, you know what would make me feel really safe right now? If you got hit by a truck and died!"

"Don't kid yourself, Earl. You're going to kill again."

"Let the police put Jane in jail. Hopefully that will save her. And we can happily go on with our tortured lives."

"[of Mr. Smith] Even if that guy was charming and funny, I still wouldn't like him."

"For all the taxes we pay, you'd think they'd make it more difficult to hack into the police personnel file."

"[scoffing at Earl's AA meetings] You are such a fucking hypocrite. If you were being honest, you would say, "Hi, my name is Earl, and I killed two people last night.""

"Why do you fight it so hard, Earl?"

"[after the killing blow to Mr. Smith] Before I was the Thumbprint Killer, Mr. Smith, I killed a lot of people in a lot of different ways."

"You always want to invest in things people can't do without. Water and cemeteries... pretty safe bets."

"I don't enjoy killing, Mr. Smith. I do it because I'm addicted to it."

"Finding someone you think would be fun to kill is a bit like... well, it's a bit like falling in love. You meet a lot of candidates, and you like some of them, and they're nice. But they're not right. And that special one comes along, and your heart beats faster, and you know that's the one."

"[after breaking into Mr. Smith's apartment] Don't worry. If I were here to kill you, you would already be dead. After you left today, I realized that our friendship was a little one-sided. So tomorrow night when we meet, if you'd be so kind as to bring all the pictures and the memory card from your camera. That way we could like each other simply for who we are. If you don't show up, I will presume that you've gone to the police, and I will kill you. Even if I go to jail because of you, Mr. Smith, someone will find you, wherever you are, and they will kill you."

"I've got to warn ya! You're doomed if you stay! Go. Go!"

"Everywhere to run. Nowhere to hide."

"They figured it would be a long week. What they didn't figure was that it would be a long week that day."

"Don't count on making it to Saturday morning."

"A 24-hour nightmare of terror."

"If you think this is your unlucky day...You don't know the half of it."

"They were warned...They are doomed...And, on Friday the 13th, nothing will save them."

"Ari Lehman as Jason Voorhees"

"Debra S. Hayes as Claudette Hayes"

"Willie Adams as Barry Jackson"

"Walt Gorney as Crazy Ralph"

"Rex Everhart as Enos Tucker"

"Peter Brouwer as Steve Christy"

"Betsy Palmer as Pamela Voorhees"

"Mark Nelson as Ned Rubinstein"

"Robbi Morgan as Annie Phillips"

"Laurie Bartram as Brenda Jones"

"Jeannine Taylor as Marcie Cunningham"

"Kevin Bacon as Jack Burrell"

"Harry Crosby as Bill Brown"