"[to his son] You know what kind of plan never fails? No plan. No plan at all. You know why? Because life cannot be planned. Look around you. Did you think these people made a plan to sleep in the sports hall with you? But here we are now, sleeping together on the floor. So, there's no need for a plan. You can't go wrong with no plans. We don't need to make a plan for anything. It doesn't matter what will happen next. Even if the country gets destroyed or sold out, nobody cares. Got it?"

"What are you, a family of charlatans?"

"Mark O'Brien – Carter Mitchum"

"- Mary Ann"

"- Mediator"

"- Nancy Katz"

"Alan Alda – Bert Spitz"

"Ray Liotta – Jay Moratta"

"Azhy Robertson – Henry Barber"

"- Judge Neil Tilden"

"Sandra: Even though I am 64 and have a dead gay husband, I manage to get up every day, live my life, and feel pretty good about myself."

"Scarlett Johansson – Nicole Barber"

"- Charlie Barber"

"And keep in mind, you'll have to pay for her lawyer. [...] Well, at least part of her. It doesn't make sense, does it? I mean, you're doing this because you love your kid. And in doing so, you're draining money from your kid's education."

"Ted: Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, divorce lawyers see good people at their worst."

"Frank: Charlie, what you're going through now is going to be horrible, but it will be over. Fuck as many people as you can right now. Women, men. Take what I said seriously."

"Laura Dern – Nora Fanshaw"

"I never really came alive for myself; I was only feeding his aliveness."

"[Reading Nicole's letter to Henry] I fell in love with him two seconds after I saw him. And I'll never stop loving him, even though it doesn't make sense anymore."

"People don't accept mothers who drink too much wine and yell at their child and call him an asshole. I get it. I do it too. We can accept an imperfect dad. Let's face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish, and can all say we want them to be different. But on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely don't accept those same failings in mothers. We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and she's perfect. She's a virgin who gives birth, unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when he's gone. And the dad isn't there. He didn't even do the fuckin'. God is in heaven. God is the father and God didn't show up. So, you have to be perfect, and Charlie can be a fuck up and it doesn't matter. You will always be held to a different, higher standard. And it's fucked up, but that is the way it is."

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt – Detective Hardrock"

"Christopher Plummer – Harlan Thrombey"

"M. Emmet Walsh – Mr. Proofroc"

"Marlene Forte – Mrs. Cabrera"

"Getting divorced with a kid is one of the hardest things to do. It's like a death without a body."

"Song Kang-ho - Kim Ki-taek, father of the Kim family and Park family chauffeur"

"Edi Patterson – Fran"

"K Callan – Wanetta "Great Nana" Thrombey"

"Noah Segan – Trooper Wagner"

"I want you to know that eventually this'll all be over, and whatever we win or lose, it'll be the two of you having to figure this out together."

"Don Johnson – Richard Drysdale"

"Toni Collette – Joni Thrombey"

"Lakeith Stanfield – Detective Lieutenant Elliot"

"Michael Shannon – Walter "Walt" Thrombey"

"Chris Evans – Hugh Ransom Drysdale"

"Ana de Armas – Marta Cabrera"

"Jamie Lee Curtis – Linda Drysdale"

"Katherine Langford – Megan "Meg" Thrombey"

"Wait a minute - I read a tweet about a New Yorker article about you!"

"That... was the dumbest car chase of all time."

"OK, don't answer that if you're going to puke. Please."

"Oh they're my family. I feel simultaneously freed by and supported by them, that balance of opposites is the nugget of Flam."

"Daniel Craig – Benoit Blanc"

"(questioned about Jacob) He's an alt-right dipstick troll."

"Jaeden Martell – Jacob Thrombey"

"Everyone has a motive. No one has a clue."

"I'm not playing to beat you, I'm playing to build a beautiful pattern."

"You want my insight into this family? None of them are murderers. That's my insight."

"We are the Thrombeys, goddammit! This is still our house!...Isn't it?"

"Oh just shut up! Shut up with that Kentucky-fried Foghorn Leghorn drawl!"