First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Hunter Parrish as Earl Gornicke"
"Kristin Chenoweth as Mary Jo Gornicke"
"Jeff Daniels as Travis Gornicke"
"Josh Hutcherson as Carl Munro"
"Cheryl Hines as Jamie Munro"
"Robin Williams as Bob Munro"
"Howie: Oh, dude, that is nasty."
"Todd Mallory: Alright, no more details. Just email me the new proposal. [hangs up]"
"Billy: Mr. Munro, I was just telling Earl and Moon about that neat laptop you were usin'."
"Moon: [about Carl] My hero."
"Earl: [about Bob] He-He was covered in turd."
"Mary Jo: [about the Munros] Whoa. They are early risers."
"Travis: Here's where you made your critical mistake: you listened to anything Howie and Joe Joe said. Nice boys, but they're a couple pliers short of a tool chest."
"Carl: DAD!!! THE TOILET'S BACKED UP!"
"Cassie: [about the Gornickes] What do they like about us? We're not even that appealing!"
"Jamie: Who is that maniac?"
"You're just determined to have a bad time, aren't you? [Cassie: We all are, Dad.] Not me. I embrace every challenge."
"Todd, I quit."
"[to Carl] It's gonna be a regular Field of Dreams moment for us, buddy."
"Sewage tank is overflowing."
"We have to hang together and stay strong."
"[angrily] We watch TV in four separate rooms and we IM each other when dinner's ready."
"[about Travis] Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten."
"[tapping head] Viagra! Virgin! Vino! Vagabond! Vagina!"
"Sarah Gadon - Priscilla"
"Drake - A/V Jones"
"Abby Zotz - Mrs. Crombwell"
"Stephen Young - Dr. Stan Weathers"
"Derek McGrath - Superintendent Sedgwick"
"Lauren Collins - Kelly"
"Megan Park - Whitney Drummond"
"Jake Epstein - Dustin Lauderbach"
"Mark Rendall - Kip Crombwell"
"[to his entire school] My name is Charlie Bartlett, and I'm no longer a virgin!"
"Hope Davis - Marilyn Bartlett"
"Tyler Hilton - Murphey Bivens"
"Robert Downey, Jr. - Nathan Gardner"
"That's the best euphemism for getting the total crap kicked out of you that I've ever heard."
"Kat Dennings - Susan Gardner"
"Anton Yelchin - Charlie Bartlett"
"First come. First cured."
"When Charlie Bartlett listens everyone talks."
"Popularity is a state of mind."
"[with Charlie, trying to convince Principal Gardener to let the drama group perform Kip's play] Sir, would it help if I said I'd be considerably less likely to end my life if you let us do this?"
"I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!"
"[speaking of Charlie's father] There are worse crimes than tax evasion, you know."
"Never attack a drunk guy with a gun!"
"I'm fit as a fucking fiddle."
"[last line] Would you like to talk about it?"
"Oh, trust me doc, bringing psychiatric drugs and teenagers together is like opening a lemonade stand in the desert."