"Helen Morrison: I take all the drinks I like, any time, any place. I go where I want to with anybody I want. I just happen to be that kind of a girl."

"Leo: Just don't get too complicated, Eddie. When a man gets too complicated, he's unhappy. And when he's unhappy, his luck runs out."

"[discovering his wife in close proximity to Eddie Harwood] You've got the wrong lipstick on, Mister."

"Double dame trouble! Double-barrelled action!"

"[to the partygoers] Seems I've lost my manners or would anyone here know the difference?"

"Frank Faylen - man recommending motel"

"Howard da Silva - Eddie Harwood"

"Alan Ladd - Johnny Morrison"

"Doris Dowling - Helen Morrison"

"You slept with him, didn't you? One night and you went right back to being a Stepford."

"We should kick him in the balls!"

"Lydia: Selfish people live longer."

"If we find anymore mistresses I'm going to have to send her to rehab."

"Mark King: I wouldn't even be me without you. I might not always get it right, but I'm right where I want to be."

"He'll never know what hit him."

"I swear, every time I look through a set of binoculars, he's got a new mistress."

"Olivia Culpo — Raven-Haired Beauty"

"Victor Cruz — Fernando"

"Radio Man (Craig Castaldo) — himself"

"Taylor Kinney — Phil Hampton"

"Nicki Minaj — Lydia"

"Don Johnson — Frank Whitten"

"Kate Upton — Amber"

"Nikolaj Coster-Waldau — Mark King"

"David Thornton — Nick"

"The ultimate girls night in."

"The oddest friends are about to get even."

"Leslie Mann — Kate Hampton"

"Cameron Diaz — Carly Whitten"

"Ben Kingsley - Robert"

"Alexander McIntosh - Ned, age 5"

"Hannah Davies - Charlotte, age 9"

"Michael Köning - Ned, age 2"

"Patricia Hodge - Emma"

"Avril Elgar - Mrs. Banks"

"Ray Marioni - Waiter"

"Caspar Norman - Sam"

"Jeremy Irons - Jerry"

"[after his wife tells him that she's been having an affair with his best friend] Where does it take place? Must be a bit awkward. I mean we've got two kids, he's got two kids not to mention a wife."

"Chloe Billington - Charlotte, age 5"

"Arthur Stone — Vic as a Child"

"Ann Carter — Martha as a Child"

"Robert "Bobby" J. Anderson — Horace as a Child"

"Raymond Burr — Peter Vendig"

"Edith Barrett — Mrs. Burnside"

"Joyce Arling — Kate Vendig"

"Martha Vickers — Susan Duane"

"Dennis Hoey — Mr. Burnside"

"Charles Evans — Bruce McDonald"

"Edna Holland — Libby Sims"