"“Ah weel,” said Rob Anybody, “ye are still our big wee hag.” “That may or may not be the case,” said Tiffany haughtily, “but I am a lot more big and considerably less wee than I used to be.” “And a lot more hag,” said a jolly voice. Tiffany did not have to look to know who was talking. Only Daft Wullie could put his foot in it as far up as his neck."

"Each man thought: one of the others is bound to say something soon, some protest, and then I'll murmur agreement, not actually say anything, I'm not as stupid as that, but definitely murmur very firmly, so that the others will be in no doubt that I thoroughly disapprove, because at a time like this it behooves all decent men to nearly stand up and be almost heard… But no one said anything. The cowards, each man thought."

""I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man [Vetinari]. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides." (p. 337)"

""Down there," he said, "are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathesomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no." (p. 337)"

"And today the sheep on the downs were left by themselves to do whatever it was that they did when they were by themselves, which would presumably be pretty much the same as they did if you were watching them."

"First Sight means that you can see what really is there, and Second Thoughts mean thinking about what you are thinking. And in Tiffany’s case, there were sometimes Third Thoughts and Fourth Thoughts, although these were quite difficult to manage and sometimes led her to walk into doors."

"Something was very wrong. "Is that you, Brother Doorkeeper?" he ventured."

"That was how you got to be a power in the land, he thought. You never cared a toss about whatever anyone else thought and you were never, ever, uncertain about anything. (p. 348)"

"Right, you bastards, you're... you're geography— (p. 302)"

""... a number of offences of murder by means of a blunt instrument, to whit, a dragon, and many further offenses of generalized abetting to be more specifically ascertained later. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to be summarily thrown into a piranha tank. You have the right to trial by ordeal." (p. 332)"

"Up in the gloom the heads of dead animals haunted the walls. The Ramkins seemed to have endangered more species than an ice age. (p. 349)"

"If you do not yet know who the Nac Mac Feegles are: 1) Be grateful for your uneventful life; and 2) Be prepared to beat a retreat if you hear anyone as high as your ankles shout “Crivens!” They are, strictly speaking, one of the faerie folk, but it is probably not a good idea to tell them this if you are looking forward to a future in which you still have your teeth."

"This was one of those points where the Trousers of Time bifurcated themselves, and if you weren't careful you'd go down the wrong leg—(p. 335)"

"Granny Weatherwax didn't hold with looking at the future, but now she could feel the future looking at her. She didn't like its expression at all."

"Now the air was gray with old smoke and mist shreds, but on a clear day it was possible to see Cori Celesti, home of the gods. Site of the home of the gods, anyway. They lived in Dunmanifestin, the stuccoed Valhalla, where the gods faced eternity with the kind of minds that were at a loss to know what to do to pass a wet afternoon. They played games with the fates of men, it was said. Exactly what game they thought they were playing at the moment was anyone's guess."

"Can I make one thing perfectly clear, your grace, the law cannot act retrospectively. If it did, none of us would be safe. (p. 460)"

"What's up, Sarge? Do you want to live forever?"

"His hands had closed automatically into fists because he had always been a man who thought with them. Soon he would try to use them; she knew it, because it was easier to punch than think."

"Her ladyship was not happy about this, but the captain cheerfully did not notice, in that very professional way policeman have not seen things they don’t want to see. And there was a definite sense that he wouldn’t have paid much attention in any case."

""What if it's just a thousand-to-one chance?" said Colon agonizedly."

"Perhaps the magic would last. Perhaps it wouldn't. But then, what does? (p. 355; closing words)"

"Then there was a silence. It was the particularly wary silence of something making no noise. (p. 124)"

"“Your grandfather always told me that if I saw a big pile of muck in a field I should kick it around a bit so as to spread it evenly, because that way all the grass will grow properly.” She smiled at Vimes’s expression and said, “Well, it’s true, dear. A lot of farming is about manure.” (p. 53)"

"He looked up at the hooded figure beside him."

"The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality. (p. 223)"

"“After all, it’s only a game.” “But a game is not about games. And what sort of game do you think you will get tomorrow?” “A war,” said Vetinari. “And the thing about war is that it’s about war.” (p. 349)"

"The singing of the National Anthem was always a ragged affair, the good people of Ankh-Morkpork feeling that it was unpatriotic to sing songs about how patriotic you were, taking the view that someone singing a song about how patriotic they were was either up to something or a Head of State.‡ ‡ i.e., up to something. (p. 363)"

"The last rats of Brother Watchtower's self-confidence fled the sinking ship of courage. (p. 201)"

"If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life. (p. 242)"

""I thought, in Nature, the defeated animal just rolls on its back in submission and that's an end of it," said Vimes, as they clattered after the disappearing swamp dragon."

"What're them fat saggy things on that shield?"

"He felt the sensation of the dragon rummaging around in his mind, trying to find a clue to understanding. He half-saw, half-sensed the flicker of random images, of dragons, of the mythical age of reptiles and—and here he felt the dragon's genuine astonishment—of some of the less commendable areas of human history, which were most of it. And after the astonishment came the baffled anger. There was practically nothing the dragon could do to people that they had not, sooner or later, tried on one another, often with enthusiasm."

"It does not matter whether you win or lose so long as you score the most goals. (p. 343)"

"“I don’t think he’s been poisoned,” he said. “Why’s that, Archchancellor?” said Ponder. “Because if anyone has poisoned our Librarian,” said Ridcully, “then, although I am not, by nature, a vindictive man, I will see to it that this university hunts down the poisoner by every thaumic, mystic and occult means available and makes the rest of their life not only as horrible as they can imagine it, but as horrible as I can imagine it. And you can depend on it, gentlemen, that I have already started work on it.” (pp. 377-378)"

"Disgusting, this sort of thing, really," mused Sergeant Colon. "People goin' around in coaches like this when there's people with no roof to their heads."

"It's a metaphor of human bloody existence, a dragon. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's also a bloody great hot flying thing. (p. 165)"

"This seemed absolutely right, to Vimes's way of thinking. There was no difference at all between the richest man and the poorest beggar, apart from the fact that the former had lots of money, food, power, fine clothes, and good health. But at least he wasn't any better. Just richer, fatter, more powerful, better dressed and healthier. It had been like that for hundreds of years. (p. 173)"

"“They put it like that?” said Glenda, wide-eyed. “Oh, you know the sort of thing if you read the papers a lot,” said Ponder. “I seriously think they think that it’s their job to calm people down by first of all explaining why they should be overexcited and very worried.” (p. 325)"

"“Can’t you wizards do something?” “Yes,” said Ponder. “We can do practically anything, but we can’t change people’s minds. We can’t magic them sensible. Believe me, if it were possible to do that, we would have done it a long time ago.” (p. 327)"

"Going Up in the World is a metaphor, which I am learning about, it is like Lying but more decorative. (p. 153)"

"People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library. (p. 183)"

"“Look, you can’t tell me that’s not magic,” Andy insisted. “No,” said Glenda. “You know what? I think it’s religion.” (p. 395)"

"The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication. (p. 146)"

"Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive. (p. 188)"

"A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it. (p. 265)"

"You know, there’s people in this city that would watch a beheading and hold their kiddies up for a better view. (p. 331)"

"Lady Ramkin's bosom rose and fell like an empire. (p. 147)"

"What exactly is it that they do eat?"

"By and large medical assistance was nonexistent and people had to die inefficiently, without the aid of doctors. (p. 136)"