"Andy: Well, now, Barney, you could have overlooked it, seeing as how the women always do congregate in front of the courthouse down here, and seeing as how it was Aunt Bee..."

"[The people laugh.]"

"Barney: I asked them to move along, but Aunt Bee kept right on talking! So I asked her again, and she said, "Stop interrupting!" Then another lady opened her umbrella; now that's inciting a riot!"

"Andy: Well..."

"Barney: Now that's unlawful assemblage in my book!"

"Aunt Bee: I was standing in front of the courthouse chatting with a group of ladies."

"Otis: Thanks, Andy."

"Andy: I'm afraid I'm going to have to dismiss him, Barney. You can go, Otis."

"Otis: I can't tell! I wasn't wearing my glasses!"

"Andy: Well, were you drunk when Deputy Fife arrested you?"

"Otis: Well, now; maybe I didn't see that there line because I wasn't wearing my specs. Drunk or sober, I can't tell nothin' much without my glasses."

"Barney: Just about! [chuckles]"

"Andy: What'd you do? Drop a net over the whole town?"

"Mayor Pike: Oh, it's an outrage, Sheriff! That's what it is! An outrage!"

"Andy: I know you did, and I appreciate that, but maybe you tried just a bit too hard."

"Barney: Yeah; I guess you're right. I was just trying to show you how much you could trust me."

"Andy: Listen to me, Barney. Listen to me just a minute. Now it's true you had them all dead to rights by the book. But now if you went strictly by the book, why I don't reckon we'd have anything in this country but about 180 million jailbirds."

"Barney: I had them, Andy! I had them all dead to rights! You can check the manual! Every one of them was as guilty as sin!"

"Andy: It must've been kept more this here day than all the other days put together!"

"Barney: Yeah, like I promised you, Sheriff. Law and order kept in Mayberry this here day!"

"Andy: Well, no wonder it's quiet in town; the whole population's in here!"

"Barney: Right!"

"Andy: We don't know where they are."

"Barney: 8,500 American silver cartwheels right in our hands; only one small hitch."

"Andy: What?"

"Barney: (reading posters) Let's see what we got here. "Henry 'Shopping Bag' Leonetti. Grand Larceny; $4,000 reward." "Max 'The Tongue' Rasmussen. Grand Theft Auto; reward $1,500." "Benjamin Schuster, alias Benjy Schus, alias Benny Schut. Forgery; reward $3,000." You know what this means, Andy?"

"Andy: Oh, good. File 'em, will you, Barn?"

"Barney: Wanted posters came in, Andy."

"Otis: [singing childlike to Barney who out of pride voluntarily put himself in the other cell] "Barney's in Jail! Barney's in Jail!""

"NAUGHTY DEPUTY! (after Andy drops Barney's charges of arresting her for jaywalking)"