"They've always got food with them. We eat to live, these guys live to eat! Let me show you what I'm talking about. [showing the woodland animals the wonders of what humans do with their obsession for food around the neighborhood; demonstrating] The human mouth is called a "pie hole". The human being is called a "couch potato". [signifies the cellphone where a woman hangs up] That is a device to summon food. [signifies the doorbell where a man hears and bolts to the front door] That is one of the many voices of food. [signifies the front door where a pizza delivery boy is giving a person a pizza box] That is the portal for the passing of food. [signifies a motorcycle the pizza delivery boy hops on and drives away] That is one of the many food transportation vehicles. [signifies every food delivery vehicle driving by] Humans bring the food, take the food, ship the food, they drive the food, they wear the food! [they peer over the fence to a backyard where a party is going on; signifies the griller with hot dog wieners being grilled] That gets the food hot! [signifies the cooler keeping drinks cold] That keeps the food cold! [signifies "turtle piñata"...with candy inside it] That...I'm not sure what that is. [a human boy breaks the piñata open with a baseball bat and all the candy fall out; Verne screams in horror] Well, what do you know? Food! [signifies a table where a family is saying their prayers] That is the altar where they worship food. [signifies an advertisement for Seltzer on the TV] That's what they eat when they've eaten too much food. [signifies a treadmill a person is using while working out] That gets rid of the guilt so they can eat more food! Food, food, food, food, FOOD! So, you think they have enough? [the animals all nod in agreement] Well, they don't. For humans, enough is never enough! And what do they do with the stuff they don't eat? They put it in gleaming, silver cans just for us. [opens the trash cans and knocks them over] Dig in!"

"Brian Stepanek — Nugent"

"Lee Bienstock — Lunch Table Larry (The Apprentice)"

"[walking across the pool on floats] Hey, everybody! This way to the food!"

"[signifying Gladys Sharp's SUV] Humans ride around in it because they are slowly losing their ability to walk."

"[signifying Gladys Sharp as she comes out of her house while on her phone as he and the woodland animals hide] That's just a human being. And they are just as scared of us as we are of them."

"...And there they are. America's most coveted cookies. Love Handles, Skinny Mints, Neener-Neeners and Smackeroons! And guess what?! They're all yours! [Hammy jumps; stops him] Whoa, Hamilton! Hold on there, fella. I love your energy, but you just can't take them."

"[after Verne scares away Shelby and Mackenzie with his naked body without his shell] That was great! You, my friend, are a natural. Or should I say, "au naturel." [tosses him a cookie]"

"You feel that buzz in the back of your skull? That's called sugar rush. It's what keeps the humans going. It's why they don't hibernate."

"Verne, believe me, you should not be jealous of me. You got a good thing here. You're trying to do what's best for your family. And I think you're what's best for them now."

"Animals are in the house."

"[signifying a coffee machine that just beeped] That is what gets the humans out of bed in the morning."