"...Handle these capsules with care. Dr. Noah's bacillus is highly contagious. This germ, when distributed in the atmosphere will make all women beautiful and destroy all men over 4'6". Please handle these capsules with care."

"[Lions approaching vehicle] I did not come here to be devoured by symbols of monarchy."

"[To Evelyn Tremble entering the laboratory. He hands him a form] If you'd be good enough to sign here, sir. It's not for me, it's for the Official Secrets Act."

"Grand Prix enthusiasts may be worried by the amount of time it has taken me to get into this Lotus Formula Three. What they don't realize is, although Le Chiffre thinks he has a faster car than me, I am faster in my Lotus Formula Three. Hee, hee!"

"Oh, my love is like a red, red rose - that's newly sprung in June."

"Joanna Pettet as Mata Bond"

"[Speaking amorously to The Detainer, believing he has seduced her to his cause] And afterwords we can run amok! Or if you're too tired, we can walk amok."

"He used to say a good spy is a pure spy - inside and out."

"You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. I-I, eh, eh, oh, oh, what if I said I was pregnant?"

"Charles Boyer as Le Grand"

"William Holden as Ransome"

"[Jimmy Bond is flailing his arms crazily trying to communicate] I never should have sent him to a Progressive school."

"Be careful, that's my loose kneecap."

"Jean-Paul Belmondo as French Legionnaire"

"Peter Sellers as Evelyn Tremble (James Bond/007)"

"Jacqueline Bisset as Miss Goodthighs"

"[Being led to a firing squad] You do know of course that this means an angry letter to The Times?"

"[Giving a description of his era's spy type] ... vocationally devoted, sublimely disinterested. Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat who leaves a trail of dead beautiful women like so many blown roses behind him, that bounder to whom you gave my name and number."

"Ronnie Corbett as Polo"

"Never trust a rich spy!"

"[on the telephone] Hello, Dutch? Bill O'Brien! Say listen, I'm over at the Pigeon Club takin' in the sights, and, uh, I ran into somethin' that I thought might be of mutual interest to us. An out-of-town job came shoo-shooing in here a while ago and throwin' away money like birdseed."

"Eddie Foster - Louie Artino"

"John Qualen - Charles Engle"

"George Watts - Joseph Hopper"

"Thomas Mitchell - Eugene 'Gene' Gibbons"

"Ralph Theodore - Dutch Enright"

"Jack Roper - Eddie Burns"

"Yesterday's pain is tomorrow's joke. And you'll always end up laughing if you can manage not to cut your throat first."