"Strong Bad: Oh, good one Kyle. Like I don't get two jillion of these emails every two jillion seconds. Er. Wait. Would that be so bad? Hmmm. I'll have to ask Gron Sad about that later on. Maybe write in to Popular Science about it. "Popular Science." No such thing, man. More like, "Nerdular Nerdence.""

"[fade to black]"

"Strong Bad: You know what I love? The smell of that rubber handle on the putters, that you know like a thousand other... people… have… touuuuuuuuuuuuched… [audio slows to a crawl]"

"Storybook Coach Z: Ooooooh. Now I understand."

"Strongbadian national anthem"

"[Cut to Strong Bad and the cheat in the former’s basement.]"

"Strong Bad: Strong Badia doesn't have a place of its own, so when we need to get our tiny golf on, we usually head over to Sweet Puttin' Cakes. And yes, it's every bit as messed up as the cartoon on which it's based. In fact, we don't even know how to get there. It's just like, one minute you're thinking about miniature golf..."

"Strong Bad: Said Strong Bad."

"Strong Bad: “Someone no-one cares about in Iowa”, also known as “everyone, in Iowa”."

"The King of Town: The drive... the power... the skills... the motivation... the power again... the fortitude... the strive... the ideals... the list of attributes... the Municipality. Honor. Valor. Buttor. [sic]"

"Storybook Strong Bad: You see, 3 is clearly a smaller number than a million."

"Strong Bad: Psssshhh! The Double Deuce!"

"So and So: Before we shop, how about some PAN-ASIAN CUISINE?"

"Strong Bad: We already tried that with lowercase "e"s back in the late '90s. We all know where that got us."

"Bubs: We could try iStrong, or iBad..."

"Strong Bad: [narrating] One day Strong Bad was finishing up a game of tennis on the moon with his pal, the Coach Z. He won 1,000,000 to 3."

"Strong Bad: Now what I need is an image overhaul. Something to reconnect me with the youth of today. Something that says— "Sup my young parsons [sic], I too am so on the go that I drink my yogurt from a tube"."

"Strong Bad: “Dear Strong Bad, you really do look old, how old are you anyways? Your faithful fan, Andy, H-S-I-A-O [Hsiao] and sometimes Y, from Taiwan.” Look Andyman, my age is a closely guarded secret, protected by a sect of closely guarded monks high atop the Coches Mountains. They would no sooner dance with a goat than divulge my age. But they will bake you some crustly guarded bread! Anyways, whattaya mean I look old? Are you telling me the nightly nacho cheese masks aren't working?"

"Strong Bad: Everyone loves Strong Bad. He is an okay guy."

"Strong Bad: Too much of a good thing is an awesome thing. But too much of an awesome thing is... umm... really, really dumb and bad."

"Strong Bad Whoa, homemade and an ornament. That thing is an anti-gift. If someone gives you one of those, you actually have to pay them because it's so poor. Uh, probably because they're so poor."

"Marzipan: This clothespin reindeer ornament is forgettably precious."

"Strong Bad: I don't think so. If you lived here, you'd have less non-broken bones. And more crushed spirits."

"Strong Bad Yes, and the more globs of hot glue I can see, the quicker I throw it in the trash."

"Marzipan: These seashells have office supplies hot-glued to them for absolutely no reason."

"Homestar Runner: In fact, I think I might live here."

"Strong Bad: “Dear Strong Bad, my brothers are always telling me that your legs are made of tape, is that true? Nee-co-las.” [Nicholas] They said my legs were made of tape?! WHAT?! I mean, do I look like some kinda tape-leg? I can guarantee you, man, I am not a tape-leg."

"Narrator: ARROWED!!!"

"The Ugly One: Three spring rolls, please."

"Strong Bad: Our last gift items are all about the false notion that just because you made something yourself, it's not a worthless piece of crap."

"Marzipan: There's no better way to say, "I have no idea what your interests are" than to give someone a present that ceases to be useful the moment it's opened."