"Black helicopters, right? You've heard about them, black helicopters? Yeah, they're on, they're on whisper mode, so you can't hear 'em till they've already gone! You know?"

"Is that one of those new hundreds? You know, where they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Look at him, yeah. He looks like the love child of-of, uh, Fred Mertz and Rosie O'Donnell! Yeah, that's him, yeah. Get rid of it as soon as you can, lady. Look at it up in the light. You see that metal strip? That's a tracking device!"

"Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)"

"George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!"

"I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton."

"Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!"

"Oswald. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?"

"You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist-type kooks on the right wing side? They say they're defending the country from U.N. troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a conspiracy, pal — they ARE the U.N. troops, and they're in place. The infrastructure's ready, it's a fait accompli. When the time comes, they'll just take over and we'll all be toast."

"You know what they put in the water, don't you? Fluoride. Yeah, fluoride — on the pretext that it strengthens your teeth! That's ridiculous. You know what that stuff does to you? It weakens your will, destroys your capacity for free and creative thought, and makes you a slave to the state!"

"If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there."

"Kiersten Warren as Karen"

"John Carroll Lynch as Doctor Freeze"

"Michael Hyatt as Trudy"

"Dwight McFee as Veteran controller"

"Joe Pingue as Mark"

"Matt Gordon as Ken"

"Neil Crone as Tom"

"Mike O'Malley as Pete"

"Philip Akin as Paul"

"Michael Willis as Pat Feeney"

"Jerry Grayson as Leo Morton"

"Matt Ross as Ron Hewitt"

"Vicki Lewis as Tina Leary"

"Kurt Fuller as Ed Clabes"

"Jake Weber as Barry Plotkin"

"Angelina Jolie as Mary Bell"

"Cate Blanchett as Connie Falzone"

"Billy Bob Thornton as Russell Bell"

"John Cusack as Nick "The Zone" Falzone"

"I know he brings 'em in steep, and tight. But he gets the job done. He pushes tin."

"Hangin' left today, Ed?"

"Human beings can tolerate a lot of pain, you never know until it happens."

"I used to bowl, when I was an alcoholic."

"If you ever want to sleep at night, don't marry a beautiful girl."

"[Listening to Nick ramble on about their affair] I am way too sober for this."

"Mr. Falzone, what's the fewest number of words you can use to get out that door?"

"To hold on to sanity too tight is insane."

"Oh, you really think the pilot is controlling this plane? That would really scare me."

"Benny Urquidez - Felix La Pubelle"

"K. Todd Freeman - Agent Kenneth McCullers"

"Hank Azaria - Agent Steve Lardner"

"Jeremy Piven - Paul Spericki"

"Minnie Driver - Debi Newberry"

"Dan Aykroyd - Mr. Grocer"

"Joan Cusack - Marcella"

"Alan Arkin - Dr. Oatman"

"John Cusack - Martin Blank"