"Now then, me bullies! Would you rather do the gallows dance, and hang in chains 'til the crows pluck your eyes from your rotten skulls? Or would you feel the roll of a stout ship beneath your feet again?"

"A Zany, Hilarious Romp!"

"[to Stanley] I'm going to make a hero out of you whether you like it or not."

"That's the kind of girl I dream about. But you should see the ones I get."

"Leon Errol — Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride"

"I'm not afraid of nothing . Not even you. I'm a pretty brave kid. I don't care about kittens. I don't care how big the kittens are."

"Bud Abbott — Ted Higgins"

"Lou Costello — Tommy Hinchcliffe"

"A Three Ring Circus of African Thrills and Laughs!"

"Joseph Calleia — Nick Craig"

"A mounted fish? What whoppers that guy tells! Did you ever see a mounted fish? Did you ever see a fish on a horse?"

"A guy in a white coat is coming for him and I don't mean the Good Humor man."

"Audrey Young — Juanita Hawkins"

"It's no use crying over spilled milk. It's the nickel back for the bottle that I care about."

"BUD ABBOTT LOU COSTELLO in the CHOKE of the Century!"

"Abbott & Costello on the Silliest Safari Ever!"

"Marjorie Main — Widow Hawkins"

"Your neck will be stretched as long as your memory, one of these days."

"Jacqueline deWit — Hazel Temple Morrison"

"That wild goose chase of yours is going to lay an egg."

"Brenda Joyce — Miss Ruby Burke"

"Marriage is a three ring circus: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and suffering."

"They're Selling Vacuum Cleaners!"

"Bud Abbott — Eddie L. Morrison / T.S. Chandler"

"It's 'Ma (EGG AND I) KETTLE' as the wild and willing widow!"

"Lou Costello — Benny Miller"

"I penetrate people's brains and leave my mind blank."

"I feel like a tin can with a dog's tail tied to it."

"Bud Abbott — Duke Egan"

"Are we such callous rascals that we'd leave a dead comrade without commending his soul to his new master? [the pirates gather around the dead man] Here lieth one who through treachery and avarice would have placed in jeopardy the lives of honest men. And here may he lie forever in the sands of Madagascar. Rest in peace."

"Lou Costello — Chester Wooley"

"Look you then! I want men with iron in their blood and steel in their sinews. And the first up here is the first enlisted!"

"William Demarest — Det. Kendall"

"Samuel S. Hinds — Chief Kolua"

"Lou Costello — Costello"

"Bud Abbott — Slicker Smith"

"Nan Wynn — Luana"