To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

"The seats are like butter!"

"We were so poor my parents married for the rice."

"I'm a princess! P to the R to the IN to the CESS!"

"[When Noxeema asks “Why do I feel like I'm in the Tournament of Roses Parade?”] Cause you're as big as a float."

"I didn’t ask to come on this trip, did I? No, I don't think so! Did I ask for you to be making me over, jump through all kinds of hoops like some kind of circus poodle? No, I don't think so! And do I want to go to jail because of some cop killer? No, I don't think so! So as soon as we get to the next town, I'm jumping on the first man and I'm riding him all the way to New York City and away from you two puckered up stuck up putas because this trip sucks! It sucks!"

"Vida, you know, you're not a queen because you rule people, or you sit on a throne, baby. You're a queen because you couldn't cut it as a man so you had to put on a dress, that's why."

"I love roughnecks; tell me, if I was your bread would you be my butter?"

"Uptight cellulite dinosaur fossil face white honky cracker witch!"

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept that I'm just a boy in a dress and the courage to change with the fashions and the wisdom to know the difference."

"I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe. I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!"

"Get in the car, Perras, I got us a ride to "Spidersville"..."

"Little Latin boy in drag, why are you crying?"

"[when asked “How do I look?” by Chi-Chi] Like the Miami Sound Machine just exploded all over you."

"I ain't drivin' you no more, Miss Daisy!"

"Why do I feel like I'm in the Tournament of Roses Parade?"

"Your mother."

"Look, that child is Latin. You don't want to be gettin' mixed up in all that Latin mess. She might turn out to be a sandinista or something."

"[As others say "I declare!”] I decline!"

"I do not do the bus. You obviously have me mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks."

"Look at her, runnin' like she runnin' across the border."

"Oh no girlfriend, did you just do a U-ie?"

"When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation, he is a transsexual. When a gay man has WAY too much fashion sense for one gender, he is a drag queen. And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress!"

"Check yourself, Loretta, before you wreck yourself!"

"If you want to let them know that there is steak for dinner, you got to let them hear it sizzle!"

"[when passing by a large Old Southern plantation style mansion] There will be a barbecue at Twelve Oaks tonight..."

"Noxeema Jackson.....Jesse's daughter."

"Do you like my nails?"

"[to Vida] Go on Vida and talk to him, you speak honky!"

"[to Clara] Miss Vida seems to think that I don't have a dream. Well, honey, I'm not Martin Luther King. I don't need a dream. I have a plan. You know I'm gonna tell you what it is, because instinctively I knew I could trust you, being as you're not a big talker and everything. My plan is that while in Hollywood I will be approached by an imminent producer, at The Ivy no doubt, to star in the lush film version of the Life of Ms. Dorothy Dandridge. Yes that noble blacktress, who never played domestic help. And then who's career was crushed by the white Hollywood machine."

"Internal combustion, the ultimate accessory."

"What in gay hell?"

"We are three young career girls..."

"I think today is a ‘Say Something’ Hat Day!"

"Now she's going to get herself kidnapped by some mountain man and we will have to go rescue her!"

"Operation Decorator Storm..."

"That's possibly-dead Sheriff Dullard!"

"[In male voice] Get your hand off my DICK, buddy!"

"I want you to believe in yourself, imagine good things, and moisturize."

"Oh look, it's a little Latin boy in drag, the little Latin boy in drag is crying! Noxy, ask the little Latin boy in drag why he is crying."

"What fresh hell is this?"

"[to Noxeema & Chi-Chi] Here is where they asked young Miss Vida to stop imitating Esther Williams in Million Dollar Mermaid, thus marring the Methodist annual picnic."