"I'd have no more troubles... That's what the man said. So I started to go. But I didn't. Instead .... I did some quick thinking Inside of my head. Then I started back home To the Valley of Vung.I know I'll have troubles. I'll maybe get stung. I'll always have troubles. I'll maybe get bit By that Green-Headed Quail On the place where I sit. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going To have troubles with me!"

"A big man on a horse scared me out of my wits. He bellowed, "I'm General Genghis Kahn Schmitz. There's a war going on! And it's time that you knew Every lad in this land has his duty to do. We're marching to battle. We need you, my boy! We're about to attack. We're about to destroy The Perilous Poozer of Pompelmoose Pass! So get into line. You're a Private, First Class.""

"I pulled, pulled, and pulled. And the next thing I knew, I was pulling the camel and Wubble-Chap too! "Now really," I thought, "this is rather unfair!" But he said, "Don't you stew. I am doing my share. "This is called teamwork. I furnish the brains. You furnish the muscles, the aches and the pains. I'll pick the best roads, tell you just where to go, And we'll find a good doctor more quickly, you know." Then he sat and he worked with his brains and his tongue And he bossed me around just because I was young. He told me go left. Then he told me go right. And that's what he told me all day and all night."

"Say! I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam-I-Am!"

"I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am."

"That Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I do not like that Sam-I-Am!"

"I am Sam. Sam-I-Am."

"If you never did You should. These things are fun. and Fun is good.'"

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere."

"I know up on top you are seeing great sights, But down here on the bottom, We too should have rights."

"And today the great Yertle, that Marvelous he, Is King of the Mud. That is all he can see. And the turtles, of course... all the turtles are free As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be."

"Well, in Who-ville they say That the Grinch's small heart Grew 3 sizes that day."

"Maybe Christmas...", he thought, "...Doesn't come from a store." "Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"

"We looked! Then we saw him Step in on the mat! We looked! And we saw him! The Cat in the Hat!"

"The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house All that cold, cold, wet day."

"So, on beyond Z! It's high time you were shown That you really don't know All there is to be known."

"In the places I go there are things that I see That I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends. My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends!"

"Oh the things you can find If you don't stay behind!"

"This", cried the Mayor, "is your town's darkest hour! The time for all Whos who have blood that is red To come to the aid of their country!", he said. "We've GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!"

"Don't give up! I believe in you all. A person's a person, no matter how small! And you very small persons will not have to die If you make yourselves heard! So come on, now, and TRY!"

"You're going to be roped! And you're going to be caged! And, as for your dust speck – hah! That we shall boil in a hot steaming kettle of Beezle-Nut Oil!"

"My friends!", cried the elephant. "Tell me! Do tell! Are you safe? Are you sound? Are you whole? Are you well?"

"I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, After four I'm under my host."

"It was easy to get a crush on Dottie Parker as she sent you flattering telegrams on your birthday, your show opening and whenever she thought you were slipping from her grasp. Her equipment was witty telegrams, vers de société and kisses on the lips when you aimed for her cheek. [...] One time Dottie and I decided to go to the Royalton to see Mister Benchley who was the most individual character I ever met. Benchley was half undressed and went on undressing to go to bed. Dottie said she was sleepy too, took off her hat and dress, and got into an enormous waste basket that looked like a giant's cradle made of leather. Dottie curled up. I said I was sleepy too, and, shedding my clothes, was starting to climb in with Dottie when Mr. Benchley's wife Gertrude made an unexpected appearance. "Hello, Gertrude," said Dottie. "Howard and I decided to drop in.""

"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

"72 suburbs in search of a city"

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

"[In the aftermath of the death of Parker's husband Alan] A woman who had been fond of Alan and who had always pretended to like her, although Dorothy doubted it, came over to offer condolences and assistance, as had many people that evening. How could she help? she asked. "Get me a new husband," Dorothy replied without a flicker of emotion."

"She is a combination of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth."

"Everything I've ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker."

"Dorothy Parker arrived at the Island one day with a huge suitcase which, when opened, contained only a large picture hat. She spent a week at Lake Bomoseen practically naked. Her figure was as eloquent as her verses."

"If you want to know what the Lord God thinks of money, just look at those to whom he gives it."

"How odd Of God To choose The Jews"

"Upon my honor I saw a Madonna Standing in a niche Over the door Of the glamorous whore Of a prominent son of a bitch."

"Age Before Beauty." "Pearls Before Swine."

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."

"Two things made The Dice of the Gods, another play about drugs, seem much better than it had any real right to seem. One was that Morphia had come first, and once you had seen Morphia, nothing seemd so very terrible to you. p. 375"

"It is advertised as “a seagoin’ comedy,” and anytime they go leaving off the final g that way, you know what to expect. p. 324"

"The murdered man meets his death in an intriguing and novel manner, which the management asks its customers, as a personal favor, not to reveal to possible future audiences. It remains a secret, chummily shared by those that have seen the play and the four or five million who read it in its original form as a Saturday Evening Post story a year or so ago. p. 320"

"There is one thing that appreciably eases the strain for the plays that arrive at this time of year, and that is that practically nothing is expected of them. p. 306"

"If you arrive late, you won't know what anything is about, and if you are there all the way from the beginning, you won't care. p. 277"

"Rockliffe Fellowes gives a likable performance of the secondary crook's rôle, and there are some decidedly agreeable-looking doughnuts consumed in the first act. And that is about all one can say for Pot Luck. p. 260"

"So seeing that there is nothing further to say, I shall go right on talking about The Circle, thus proving that I am a born reviewer of plays. p. 256"

"Bringing in a wounded soldier is getting to be rather like waving an American flag at the end of an act. One cannot harbor feelings of unmixed admiration for the playwright who will hide behind either of them. p. 250"

"Naturally, you know how you would feel on setting out to see a performance of Aucassin and Nicolette done by a company of little ones; you would strive to hurl yourself beneath the wheels of a friendly truck, on your way to the theatre. p. 233"

"Of course, there are many things to be said for the afternoon performance, chief among them being that it cuts in so generously on one's work. p. 201"

"Mr. Hodge plays with his accustomed ease, even carrying the thing so far as to repeat many of his lines with his eyes shut; and in a pretty spirit of reciprocity, many members of the audience sit through the play with their eyes shut. p. 175"

"Van and Schenck put their songs over so skillfully that it isn't until their act is all done that you realize what extremely indifferent songs they are. Now, when John Steel is singing, on the other hand, you are never fooled for a moment. p.153"

"The management's method of procedure is evidently to hire some well-known man to write the book, and then, as soon as it is written, to give it away to some deserving family, and go out and engage an assortment of specialty acts. p. 151"

"Writing a book for the Follies seems to be about as profitable an occupation as furnishing flannel petticoats for the showgirls. p. 151"