"Happy president's day! [Rasputia runs and jumps on Norbit and we see the bed is propped up with cinderblocks. Rasputia and Norbit both bounce up off the bed and come down again] God bless America!"

"HALT!!!!!! [Rasputia runs and jumps on Norbit, breaking their bed once again] 187, officer down!"

"Rasputia, I know we're a little nervous because we've never done this before, but we can take our time, darling. In sweet time. Yes. [Rasputia leans into the doorway wearing lingerie] AAAHHH!!! AAAHHH!!! [Rasputia runs and jumps on Norbit, breaking their bed in the process] OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"No, the one, suckin' the jelly outta them doughnuts."

"Henry Travers — Professor Jerome"

"Virginia Bruce - Audrey Lane"

"Luise Rainer - Anna Held"

"Myrna Loy - Billie Burke"

"William Powell - Florenz Ziegfeld Jr."

"The Sensation of the Century!"

"The Last Word in Entertainment!"

"10 Big Shows in 1"

"No, no, no, I cannot sing today. I told you before I'm much too angry to sing, and I'm sick of watching you roll your eyes like I do."

"That night I say to Flo - I mean Mr. Ziegfeld - "Flo, why do you send me so much milk?" and he just laughs and says, "Anna, that's a great idea. You'll get it from now on everyday." Everyday, 20 gallons of milk? I say, "Flo, who can drink so much milk?" and do you know what he says? "Don't drink it - bathe in it! And you will be a big success.""

"How can I love someone who plays tricks on me, puts terrible things in the newspaper, has millions of reporters annoying me?!"

"[reading the note] Why is he a Jr., is he a little boy?"

"Men who keep books are never very happy."

"Kathleen Howard — Miss Bragg"

"Ralph Peters — Asthma Anderson"

"Dan Duryea — Duke Pastrami"

"Aubrey Mather — Professor Peagram"

"Richard Haydn — Professor Oddley"

"Leonid Kinskey — Professor Quintana"

"Tully Marshall — Professor Robinson"

"S.Z. Sakall — Professor Magenbruch"

"Oskar Homolka — Professor Gurkakoff"

"Dana Andrews — Joe Lilac"

"Gary Cooper — Professor Bertram Potts"

"Barbara Stanwyck — Catherine 'Sugarpuss' O'Shea"

"[After the opening credits] Once upon a time—in 1941 to be exact—there lived in a great, tall forest—called New York--eight men who were writing an encyclopedia. They were so wise they knew everything. The depth of the oceans, and what makes a glowworm glow, and what tune Nero fiddled while Rome was burning. But there was one thing about which they knew very little--as you shall see..."

"Riotous but tender comedy of a professor so anxious to learn the slang pf a hep-cat queen that she puts his heart in a sling!"

"The riotous but tender comedy of a slang-hunter professor, baffled by the words, but a sucker for the wiles of a hot-spot Queen of Jive who used his study as a hide-out!"

"The New Year's red-hot comedy!"

"I LOVE HIM because he doesn't know how to kiss -- THE JERK!"

"Professor Magenbruch: Maybe my data on sex is a little outdated, too."

"Professor Gurkakoff: [discovering Sugarpuss gave back the wrong ring] The subconscious never makes a mistake. She gave you the ring she didn't want - his ring - and she kept the one she wanted - yours."

"Miss Bragg: That is the kind of woman that makes whole civilizations topple!"

"You know, I was kinda counting on Sugarpuss to tell ya the score. Trouble is, she's all right givin' out with the twists and the wisecracks, but when it comes to leveling off she gets chicken."

"Sugarpuss, uh, before you go, would you... would you, eh, yum me just once more?"

"[to Sugarpuss] I shall regret the absence of your keen mind. Unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body."

"We're working under pressure. After nine years of effort, we are, as the race track enthusiast might say, in the home stretch. Three more years and our encyclopedia will be finished. Let's not bog down in the middle of the letter S."

"[about Potts] Yes, I love him. I love those hick shirts he wears with the boiled cuffs and the way he always has his vest buttoned wrong. Looks like a giraffe, and I love him. I love him because he's the kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk, and I love the way he blushes right up over his ears. Love him because he doesn't know how to kiss, the jerk!"

"Who is that guy who learned so much from watching an apple drop?"

"[about the professors' workroom] Say, who decorated this place? The mug that shot Lincoln?"

"Everyone promises you happily ever after... but life turns into a different kind of fairy tale."

"Eva Birthistle – Edie"

"Sharon Horgan – Beth"

"Boo Jackson – H (Henrietta)"

"Sue Johnston – Ella"