"[singing lines from The Wizard of Oz] When a man's an empty kettle,/he should be on his mettle/and yet, I'm torn apart./Just because, I'm presumin'/that I could be kind-of-human/if I only had a heart…"

"[called out by Rupert over being grumpy at work] Every day it's [salutes] 'Yes Rupert Sir', 'No Rupert Sir', 'Can I get you another beverage Rupert Sir?!' And it CHAPS MY ASS!!! So here's a helpful hint for you: SHUT UP AND LET ME DO MY WORK!! [casually dislodges boxes] I'm done!"

"What's right for most people in most situations isn't right for everyone in every situation! Real morality lies in following one's own heart."

"I like you. I even understand you some of the time. But I'm not about to invest my emotions in a machine."

"I have a friend who is very special to me. He's sweet and exceptionally intelligent, but, well - he's not really a - I mean, a relationship between us would be impossible. It would never, could never, work out."

"John Badham - Cameraman (uncredited)"

"Barbara Tarbuck - Senator Mills"

"Penny Santon - Mrs. Cepeda"

"John Garber - Otis"

"Marvin J. McIntyre - Duke"

"Brian McNamara - Frank"

"Tim Blaney - Number 5 (voice)"

"G. W. Bailey - Captain Skroeder"

"Austin Pendleton - Dr. Howard Marner"

"Fisher Stevens - Ben Jabituya"

"Steve Guttenberg - Newton Crosby"

"Ally Sheedy as Stephanie Speck"

"Life is not a malfunction."

"Something wonderful has happened...No. 5 is alive."

"My personal theory is that he is this babe in the woods with a real problem. I think he resonates in the way that a really good kid film…I think he resonates because he’s like a little kid, and he has this enormous problem because people are trying to kill him, and his problem is that he can’t convince him that he’s alive. That’s my feeling, is that kids relate to Johnny 5 because he’s got this problem and nobody will listen to him and I think that’s how kids feel."

"The thing that makes it so relevant is that we live in this age of robots, particularly when it comes to war. We have drones that do our fighting for us, do all these jobs men and women don’t want to do. And that’s what makes this so interesting—things like this moment in the story when [Number 5] realizes he’s going to be disassembled and contemplates death, and whether it’s right to terminate someone else. … These are heavy themes for a family movie. But I think they can have their place."

"Eat my dust, Newton Crosby. Let us break wind! [retreats]"

"[tells a joke to Number 5] There's a priest, a minister, and a rabbi. They're out playing golf, and they're trying to decide how much to give to charity. So the priest says, "We'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity." The minister says, "No. We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle, that's what we'll give to charity." The rabbi says "No, no, no. We'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps!""

"Originally I had non-military purposes in mind. I designed it as a marital aid."

"[sees Number 5 in her truck at night] Oh, my God! I knew they'd pick me. I just knew it!"

"[repeated line] Newton Crosby, Ph.D.!"

"Hey, Laser Lips! your mama was a Snow Blower! [blows a raspberry]"

"Colt 45, semi-automatic. [crushes gun] Clay dough."

"Jerk of the world, turkey, idiot, pain in the ass!"

"Disassemble! [in mock-Italian accent] Frankie, ya broke the unwritten law. Ya ratted on your friends. You do that, Frankie, your enemies don't respect ya. You got no friends no more. You got nobody, Frankie. [normal voice] Pretty good, huh?"

"Squash, dead. Disassemble, dead. Disassemble...! [panics] DEAD!! No disassemble!"

"Attractive. Nice software!"

"[repeated line] Input! [sometimes] More!"

"Malfunction! Need input!"

"Number 5... is alive!"

"So are we."

"Juni (son)"

"Carmen (daughter)"

"Ingrid (wife)"

"My parents can't be spies! They’re not cool enough!"

"Mike Judge as Donnagon Giggles / Donnamight"

"George Clooney as Devlin"

"Daryl Sabara as Juni Cortez, Carmen's younger brother"