"They don't think, they don't imagine, most of them can't even spell. They just run things. And if we don't hitch a ride soon, you won't need the guide to tell you just how unpleasant the Vogons can be. They already destroyed a planet today, and that always makes them a little "eeee!""

"I've been stranded on a strange planet for a number of years, I haven't been avoiding you. You look great, you're doing well. You've grown, obviously."

"If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now. Hey, c'mon, I love it."

"Whoo, they're on our tail! Fire a gun! Launch a missile! Do some damage! Come on!"

"In the name of democracy, freedom, stuff like that... I hereby kidnap myself, and I'm taking the ship with me!"

"Apparently you can't be president with a whole brain."

"I'm just gonna go… find something else for my whole life to be about."

"I'm the president of the galaxy, babe. I ain't got a whole lot of time for reading."

"HUMMA KAVULA!!!!"

"[Humma Kavula is removing Zaphod's second head with a giant buzzsaw] Hey, hey, hey, take it easy now. Think about this before you do it. NO STOP IT! Ah that kinda tickles. [his second head is removed] TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE! DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE! [Zaphod's second head has been placed on a hula dancer bobblehead doll with the label "STUPID" underneath it] IT'S NOT FAIR! YOU NEED ME! COME BACK! COME BACK! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! COME BACK!"

"I think you think you don't know, but we both know that you do! (smiles a toothy grin and points at Humma Kavula)"

"So much for the laws of physics."

"Buttons aren't toys!"

"It won't affect me. I'm already a woman."

"You must come with me."

"Welcome to our factory floor!"

"Voila! Himalayas! Good, eh?"

"I'd much rather be happy than right any day."

"Questular Rontok: She's lying. She's skinny and she's pretty and she's lying."

"Don't Panic"

"Don't leave Earth without it."

"The most astonishing adventure in the universe begins—when the world ends."

"Everything you need to know about there, is in here."

"The answers to what's out there are in here."

"Losing your planet isn't the end of the world."

"Martin Freeman – Arthur Dent"

"Mos Def – Ford Prefect"

"Zooey Deschanel – Trillian"

"Sam Rockwell – Zaphod Beeblebrox"

"Bill Nighy – Slartibartfast"

"Warwick Davis and Alan Rickman (voice) – Marvin the Paranoid Android"

"Anna Chancellor – Questular Rontok"

"John Malkovich – Humma Kavula"

"Stephen Fry – The Guide/Narrator"

"I left my thimble and Socialist reading material at home."

"Kristin Chenoweth as Book Channel host"

"Linda Hunt - Dr. Mittag-Leffler"

"Tom Hulce - Dr. Cayly"

"Tony Hale - Dave"

"Queen Latifah - Penny Escher"

"Maggie Gyllenhaal - Ana Pascal"

"Dustin Hoffman - Professor Jules Hilbert"

"Emma Thompson - Karen Eiffel"

"Will Ferrell - Harold Crick"

"Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Full Stop."

"He's not crazy. He's just written that way."

"Truth is stranger than fiction."