"Absolute tosh, wasn't it? It's annoying that the understudies are actually professional actors. Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs and Sheri portrayed a cadaver in Prime Suspect."

"I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts of secrets would come tumbling out..."

"I'm a slasher, and I must be stopped!"

"[After Nicholas corrects Danny's use of "policeman" to "police officer"] What made you wanna be a policeman-officer?"

""Do you want anything from the shop?" [repeated by Danny and Nicholas]"

"[cue to hit the sirens and rev the engine] Bring the noise!"

"You're off the fuckin' chain!"

"Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that, if you shoot it, it will blow up?"

"[while Nicholas is chasing a shoplifter through the supermarket, Danny is reading the taglines of the cheap action films in the half-price bin] Supercop. Meet the cop that can't be stopped."

"[discussing why a person would wear a hat to cover his face] He's fuck-ugly."

"[seeing the vast collection of guns] By the power of Greyskull!"

"Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "ahhrgh"?"

"[after a farmer called Peter Ian Staker has phoned up about a lost swan] P.I. Staker... Right. Pisstaker! Come on!"

"[after walking into Sandford with a ton of weapons and ammo on him] Morning."

"[distracting Michael with a chunky monkey] Hey biggun'. Playtime's over."

"[after stopping Danny's swan call] That's just going to scare it."

"Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll."

"Sgt. Tony Fisher: [upon being presented with an obvious murder scene] Hang about, hang about... you're saying this wasn't an accident?"

"Reverend Phillip Shooter: Fuck off, grasshopper! [after being shot]Jesus Christ!"

"Joyce Cooper: I hope you had a pleasant trip—fascist!"

"Met. Sergeant narrating: Police Constable Nicholas Angel: born, schooled in London. Graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in Politics and Sociology. Attended Hendon College of Police Training and displayed great attitude in field exercises, notably Urban Pacification and Riot Control. Academically excelled in theoretical coursework and final year examinations. Received the Baton of Honour, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving and advanced cycling. Became heavily involved in a number of extra-vocational activities and to this day holds the Met record for the hundred metre dash. In 2001, he began active duty with the renowned SO19 Armed Response Unit and received a Bravery Award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown. In the last twelve months, he has received nine special commendations, achieved highest arrest record for any officer in the Met and sustained three injuries in the line of duty, most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas."

"[after tripping and impaling his chin on the spire of a model church] Ooooow...Thith...really...hurtth.... I'm...going...to need thome...icee... creeeeeam...."

"GET! [punch] OUT! [punch] OF MY! [punch] VILLAGE! [punch], [while fighting Angel]."

"[taking a ginger-haired boy hostage] Stay back! Or the ginger-nut gets it! [the child bites Skinner's hand and runs away] Ow! You little FUCKER!"

"[seeing Danny's film collection] By the power of Greyskull..."

"This shit just got real!"

"[echoing line from Shaun Of The Dead] What's the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before?"

"[after the village doctor is shot in the foot] You're a doctor. Deal with it!"

"(whilst chasing Frank Butterman) PUNCH-THAT-SHIT!"

"[after watching Point Break] I won't argue that it wasn't a no-holds-barred adrenaline-fuelled thrill-ride, but there's no way that you could perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork."

"Reed Birney - Vic Ajax"

"Extermination is not just a business. It's a way of life."

"I've never seen you here before. I like that in a woman."

"Antonio Fargas - Blind Man"

"Richard Bright - Officer Brennan"

"Hey baby, why don't ya come on over to my pad? We'll have a scotch and sofa."

"Bruce Campbell - Renaldo 'The Heel'"

"Edward R. Pressman - Ernest Trend"

"Sheree J. Wilson - Nancy"

"Brion James - Arthur Coddish"

"Louise Lasser - Helene Trend"

"Paul L. Smith - Faron Crush"

"[to Ray] Look. Personally I don't give a shit. I know Marty's a hard-on but you gotta do something. I don't know; give the money back, say you're sorry, or get the fuck out of here, or something...It's very humiliating, preaching about this shit...I'm not laughing at this, Ray Bob, so you know it's no fucking joke."

"Deborah Neumann - Debra"

"Samm-Art Williams - Meurice"

"M. Emmet Walsh - Loren Visser (private detective)"

"Dan Hedaya - Julian Marty"

"Frances McDormand - Abby"

"John Getz - Ray"

"Dead in the heart of Texas."