First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Leonardo Nam — Roy"
"Tyra Ferrell — Desmond's mother"
"Chris Evans — Kyle"
"The S.A.T. is hard to take. It's even harder to steal."
"Bryan Greenberg — Matty"
"Desmond Rhodes. All-city. But his grades are shitty."
"I'm the ghost, man. I hear things, and I see things. But no one hears or sees me."
"Erika Christensen — Anna"
"Desmond's mother: You're a smart boy, Roy. But there's a lot of dumb dribbling out of your mouth right now."
"Scarlett Johansson — Francesca"
"David Landau - Jennings"
"Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff"
"Harpo Marx - Pinky"
"[impromptu radio announcement during the football match] Last week at this same hour I told you that Mrs. Moskowitz was expecting a blessed event. Well, last night Mrs. Moskowitz had twins. O-kay Mr Moskowitz! [blows siren whistle]"
"Serge Fedoroff - Nostrodamus"
"[singing] I don't know what they have to say. It makes no difference anyway. Whatever it is, I'm against it."
"[to Baravelli and Pinky, who have abandoned the football match in favor of playing cards] Do you realize what happens if we lose? It means shame! Disgrace! Humiliation! And besides, you're crazy if you don't play the ace!"
"[to Baravelli] You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."
"Jean-Claude Dreyfus - Marquis Du Hickey"
"Martin Pepper - Martin"
"Yvan Chiffre - Tax Collector #1"
"[about Connie] I'm the plumber. I'm just hanging around in case something goes wrong with her pipes. [To the audience] That's the first time I've used that joke in 20 years."
"Dan Schwarz - Tax Collector #2"
"Robbi Chong - Princess III"
"Rae Dawn Chong - The Gypsy"
"Kay Dotrice - The Midwife"
"Rikki Marin - Princess II"
"Edie McClurg - The Queen"
"Zeppo Marx - Frank Wagstaff"
"Shelby Chong - Princess I"
"Jennie C. Kos - The Pregnant Mother"
"Thelma Todd - Connie Bailey"
"Don't be a stupid Fuckaire."
"Believe me, if you weren't a woman, I'd kiss you for that."
"Cheech Marin - Louis Corsican"
"Tommy Chong - Lucian Corsican"
"Fuckaire, the only thing I want to say is: you've kept me in a dungeon, and you've beaten me, and you've tortured me, and you even kissed me. And, I want these people to know that the only thing you've really done is make me really, really hungry."
"You ever had a taco? I guess they don't have tacos in France. I remember one time this restaurant I used to work... err... I mean, own. They had a contest to see who could eat the most. I ate 143, and I was still hungry, but they had to close the restaurant."
"Chico Marx - Baravelli"
"Last week at this same hour I told you Mrs. Moskowitz was expecting a blessed event. Well, last night Mrs.Moskowitz had twins. O-KAY! MISTER MOSKOWITZ!! [blows a "crazy whistle"]"
"Roy Dotrice - The Evil Fuckaire/Ye Old Jailer"
"Tommy Chong - Chong "Man""
"Hans Man in 't Veld - Promoter"
"Carol van Herwijnen - Hotel Manager"
"Cheech Marin - Cheech"
"[as Blind Melon Chitlin] I wanna sing a little tune I wrote one day while I was beatin' my old lady. It's called "GOING DOWNTOWN GONNA SEE MY GAL"."
"You can always smell the excitement in the air."
"Shireen Strooker - Assistant Manager"
"They'll have you ROLLING in your seats!"
"[singing, as a Jamaican dope dealer in TV movie] Dope! Do-o-o-o-pe! How come nobody don't want to buy no dope? Dope, I say dope I say do-o-o-o-o-pe. Who wants to buy dope?"