"If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for, but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong. If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires."

"Anything worth doing is worth overdoing."

"Minimize your therbligs until it becomes automatic; this doubles your effective lifetime — and thereby gives time to enjoy butterflies and kittens and rainbows."

"One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word."

"Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy."

"Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed."

"Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil."

"The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful."

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."

"The shamans are forever yacking about their snake-oil "miracles." I prefer the Real McCoy — a pregnant woman."

"Never try to outstubborn a cat."

"What are the facts? Again and again and again — what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell," avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history" — what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!"

"Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men. Let's play that over again, too. Who decides?"

"Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, the execution is carried out automatically and without pity."

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent — it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills."

"Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something."

"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once."

"Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child."

"A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld."

"A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe."

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."

"The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa."

"The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history."

"History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it."

"A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future."

"All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly, which can — and must — be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a "perfect society" on any foundation other than "Women and children first!" is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly — and no doubt will keep on trying."

"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."

"Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect."

"Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent."

"“My mistake and it may be my last one.” “Woodrow! Don’t talk that way!” “Sorry, dear. But there is always a last mistake.”"

"Love is what still goes on when you are not horny."

"If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion."

"Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity."

"Does history record any case in which the majority was right?"

"The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship."

"All men are created unequal."

"It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier."

"Llita was well above average smart but suffered from the democratic fallacy: the notion that her opinion was as good as anyone’s — while Joe suffered from the aristocratic fallacy: He accepted the notion of authority in opinion."

"The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: “Of course it is none of my business but — ” is to place a period after the word “but.” Don’t use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about."

"Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house."

"Political tags — such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, conservative, and so forth — are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort."

"Latin is majestic, especially when you don’t understand it."

"Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get."

"Half the battle with any culture is knowing its taboos."

"Every so often some idiot tries to abolish marriage. Such attempts work as well as repealing the law of gravity, making pi equal to three point zero, or moving mountains by prayer."

"A man who refuses to take his own death into account in making plans is a fool. A self-centered fool who does not love anyone."

"It is hard to shake off any taboos a child is indoctrinated with in his earliest years. Even if he learns later that they are nonsense."

"They did ask, sometimes, and accepted my decision without argument. But I could see that they did not always believe me. That pleased me; they were starting to think for themselves — didn’t matter if they were wrong."

"That was encouraging; a person who can read and write and has a head for math can learn anything she needs to know."