Actors From England

"[A]s I stood after coming off stage in a state of shock, a tall chap waiting in the queue … offered a few words of consolation, and then minutes later I was having coffee with my main writing partner for the next twenty years.My first impression of Graham Chapman was of physical strength. He was slightly shorter than me, but much tougher, in the lean, angular way of a sportsman. He did not surprise me when he said he was a medical student who climbed mountains and played rugby football. He was wearing a rather hairy tweed jacket and heavy brogues, and he soon lit up a pipe. He seemed dead butch, and slightly taciturn."

"[The other Pythons all lead] boring lives, but Graham lives what we do on the screen for real. … It's constantly surprising, what he does. … Graham was at his best, usually, in very conservative restaurants when we'd be out dining, and there'd be some nice, middle-aged, middle-class couples dining, and you'd suddenly discover Graham was no longer at the table, but was underneath the table, and other people's tables, and kissing people's feet."

"He was the most "extremely" person I think I've ever met. It didn't really matter what the adjective was, because he would be extremely that—whether it was kind or unkind or good or bad or funny or not funny, I mean there was nothing he ever did that he didn't do … much more extremely than anybody else would. … "[S]ubversive authority figures" … sounds rather like a paradox, and it's a very good paradox as far as Graham is concerned; … but, actually, the person he continually subverted was himself. … Because he was always this rather tweedy person on first meeting him, and that was an impression that lasted at least three seconds into any relationship. … But, there was always a sort of danger there, because you never actually knew what was going to happen next."

"It's fear. … There's no point in it. We should just love each other, and do it in our own way. That's the only thing that's important."

"[I]t took about four men to live [Graham Chapman's] life. There was the quiet pipe-smoking tweed-jacketed doctor, who could elucidate complicated medical facts to the layman while calmly diagnosing and dispensing medicines; there was the quiet pipe-smoking writer who could sit all day painting his nails with gestetner fluid, occasionally interjecting the oddest comments, squawks, shouts of 'Betty Marsden' and injunctions to sing 'Only Make-Believe' in a squeaky voice; there was the quiet pipe-smoking homosexual, who could calmly bring a party of Chinese boys down for breakfast in an extremely bourgeois German suburban hotel, causing the manageress conniptions and ending in a request that he move to a more suitable establishment; and there was the quiet pipe-smoking alcoholic, who could reduce any drinks party to a shambles by consuming half a distillery and then crawling round the floor kissing all the men and groping all the women."

"I think … [what attracted me to show business] was the early radio shows. I was an avid listener to radio shows like Take It from Here; before that, Jewel and Warriss, Hancock, all sorts of radio shows. And then, later—when I was around thirteen, fourteen—The Goon Show, of course. Here came a show which was not like any of the other shows. It didn't have the same kind of rules. It didn't have any rules. It didn't even like the medium that was putting it out, particularly; it didn't like the BBC. Wonderful! There was something I could relate to, and did."

"Once the decision had been made, once I decided to stop [drinking], it was easy—except for the … three days of unpleasantness, of—well, of having things crawl all over me and hallucinating. … One of the worst things was not being able to remember if I'd slept or not, whether I was dreaming, or whether I was awake. I didn't know."

"The very first day of filming of The Holy Grail, in fact, we were halfway up a mountainside in Glen Coe, and I hadn't gotten my daily dose, and it was seven o'clock in the morning that we left the hotel. The bar wasn't open; I hadn't realised this, and hadn't gotten anything prepared the night before that I should have if I'd researched my drinking properly. And so I had DTs on the mountainside while having to try and remember lines and (uh) stand up. … It was then that I decided next time that I do a job like this I'm going to be clean for it. It's not fair to the other chaps in the group, it's not fair to me, it's not fair to what I've written, and it's very stupid."

"Graham's writing, at its best, … had that enviable quality of giving no evidence of where it came from. He was like that, too, except that we all knew he came from Leicester, though Graham showed not the slightest sign of having come from Leicester. As far as I was concerned, he had come from the moon—an amiable Looney with the gift of conveying enormous reassurance. You always felt it would be all right while Graham was around—whatever "it" was. And then he would be off 'round the bar of the King's House Hotel, Glen-coe, determined to kiss everyone in the bar. Which he did. And got into a fight. And got banned from the bar."

"[My parents] came to grips with the drinking … much more easily, I think, than [with my sexuality]. Yes. But, things are rather better now than in those days, of course. It was some time ago. And now, even the Church of England, I think, regards a homosexual as merely being handicapped."

"But there’s also a learned behavior there as well. Distinguishing between those two feels important because there’s times when all of us burn out. My mother, she would burn out; my father, my brother, me. We all have a similar drive, which is maybe inexplicable, where we want to offer ourselves fully to what we’re doing."

"I love learning about other artists’ processes so much; I don’t know why. It’s like a magpie-collecting hobby of mine. I find it incredibly inspiring, and just as a human being, I’m like, God, I love people. I love it when people devote themselves to something that is greater than themselves, and they work at it."

"There’s lots of practices I have, but the other problem is that I love what I do so much, but it can take me over. And that’s a great thing, and it’s a gift, but there’s a wound in that as well, as you’re kind of alluding to."

"So to be in line with and to join in that creativity is, I think, maybe the highest calling. I think it’s all of our callings, to whatever degree or in whatever context, in whatever corner of the garden we’re meant to tend. And we know it. We know when we’re in the right corner, you know what I mean? We can feel it. We can feel it in our bones. Our blood starts to flow, our cheeks flush, we get that feeling of spring in our bodies, and we come alive. We can feel it when we’re close to the shoreline of ourselves, and then it’s harder to identify when we don’t feel it. It’s a strange thing."

"And one of the keys in what we do is we get to feel like we are extending beyond that human body, that human limitation, and we are touching something divine in what we do, if we’re lucky—or at least we’re reaching for it. But then what goes up must come down, and we have to honor the human body as well, so it’s a constant process."

"But in terms of legacy, it’s not something that really interests me. I think I’ve developed a pretty healthy awareness of how small I am. Honestly, I think it’s because I’ve had to, because I have a pretty healthy ego and it can be boring. It’s a practice to be constantly remembering the perspective of the moon. You know what I mean? Like looking down on all my little problems and going, Dude, shush."

"And honestly, I hadn't watched the Harry Potters until recently. [...] [Daniel Radcliffe]s really good in those Harry Potter movies. Those Harry Potter movies are really good. [...] I know it's like controversial, and like we shouldn't be, you know, putting money in the pocket of inhumane legislation right now through she that she'll remain nameless, but the soul and the spirit of a lot of the essence of the themes of those films and the kids are so.. and all the artisans and the craft people... [...] There are so many beatiful artists who worked on those films. Anyway, I have a newfound appreciation for all of the artists."

"I’ve been mentored by the human beings in my life. I’m so lucky that I’ve had the opportunities I’ve had. And the friendships I’ve had, and the mentors and the teachers. But I’m also pretty intent. Like, I’m not a nice person to be around if I’m not able to follow the thing that I feel I’m supposed to follow."

"I’m in a real period of not-doing. The usual aggressive, ambitious, driven heartbeat, rapping at the door has subsided for a while."

"You let it drown you sometimes. You ride it sometimes. You give thanks, that’s the point. And it’s so trite and so cliché, but that’s it. Whatever that unnamable thing is, that we try to call “love,” that’s what we’re meant to experience here, somehow."

"I didn’t have to force my way into letting myself rest. It was interesting. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, the reason for this weird peace I’ve been experiencing. I think the loss of my mum was a big thing. That cataclysm is a forever-reverberating shift into a deeper awareness of reality. Existence. The shortness of this window we have. I think that’s working on me in profound ways that I’m probably not even aware of."

"Life seems to be a perpetual practice of letting shit go. Letting go of an idea of how a thing should look, or be, or feel. And that one’s a big one [to let go of], because of course I would’ve loved my mum to have met my kids, if I’m going to have kids. And she will. In spirit. She’ll be there for it. I know she’s there, for all the big ones."

"If you have the sun sign that’s the same as the moon sign of someone else … that’s good."

"There’s no getting there in terms of finding that balance. It’s always a practice and a process. And one thing will work for a while and then it won’t work anymore; you have to find another practice to keep you centered. I think the trickiest part is just coming back to a level of real relaxation and ease in between working."

"We all die with an unfinished song, and that’s the setup. None of us complete. None of us finish the symphony. There’s a few notes left to be done, if we’re lucky."

"It’s that eternal struggle between being devoted to the invisible world, the world of spirit, the world of imagination, creativity, what we know we’re meant to do. But if we were purely devoted to that, it would be much harder for us to put a roof over our heads. So how do we balance that? We’re living through a capitalistic period in the history of humanity. And it’s deeply disgusting and horrific and ugly and all those things, as well as beautiful. It’s a fascinating time to be alive. And how do artists – how does anyone, because everyone is an artist – really retain that connection to soul, to spirit, to the unseen, to the thing that really pulls us? Our own personal genius. Our own personal calling. Giftedness."

"I had to go off on my own. So, okay, I haven’t got Michael Caine, I’d better get Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr, Kenneth Branagh, Emily Blunt, Florence Pugh, Josh Hartnett, Cillian Murphy, Tom Conti, and hoped that all those greats would add up to one Michael Caine."

"I'm very lucky the whole face has not collapsed."

"I keep saying I'm going to retire. Well I am now."

"Not many people know that."

""My name is Sir Maurice" or "My name is Sir Michael"?"

"I was named after my father and I was knighted in his name because I love my father. I always kept my real name - I'm a very private and family-orientated person."

"I'm both, but I will use Sir Michael Caine."

"[On his father, Maurice Micklewhite Snr, a soldier during World War II] He liberated the Pope."

"My worst roles have been in movies I made solely for the money — like Jaws – The Revenge. I was offered a small part in a fourth of the 'big shark' movies at a tremendous fee, and I took it. I have never seen the film, but by all accounts, it was terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it's terrific."

"[On his 50-year long marriage to his wife Shakira] [W]e went to Vegas for my 40th birthday, and we got married. It was where a lot of famous people had got married, because there were pictures of all of them on the wall. I was looking round thinking, f—g hell, I’m getting married where whatisname got married, and so-and-so. And then, at the end, I looked round, and realised every single person on the wall had got divorced. I thought, oh s—t, this isn't going to last long, then."

"[On his National Service] And then when I was 19 they sent me to Korea – which was not a very nice idea for your 19th birthday. I wasn't a big professional soldier, and it wasn't a big war. The Korean War was like the First World War, we all lived in trenches and fought each other in the dark; but I was still s—t scared, as everybody else was. So I understood those things – death and close friends dying and getting injured."

"But I'm 90. I don't worry about the future. I worry if I'm gonna make it to lunch."

"[On assuming he would never be a star] Because I thought you had to be very handsome and all that – kissing the girls and everything – and I wasn't like that when I was young. I was an ugly, skinny bastard."

"The danger of the ideology of the victim, which I don't really subscribe to except as a tactic on occasion, is that you begin to think like a victim, and you begin to act like a victim. Many of our people now are almost asking for a whipping, asking for a collective beating, asking to be forgiven for the past, asking to be forgiven for sins and crimes of the past which they never committed, which they’re hardly aware of, which can be reconstrued as episodes of heroic cruelty or glorious vanguardism that don't even need to be apologised for in the past or in the present."

"So, there's a total disconnect now between the ruling group and the masses and the masses have got to show some stomach for once, and they've got to be prepared to vote for radical people who will clear out New Labour. Here in the north, in the south, in the east and the west outside England, within Britain and elsewhere. Clear them out! And the Tories will do no good either. You’ve got to clear them out. The Liberals are just a bloc in between the two that give the other two their ideas, all the sort of destructive ideas that Phillips is in favor of and that I talked about earlier. You've got to clear them out as well. There needs to be a new start! And it won’t be UKIP and it won’t be the Greens, even though there are good ideas which are Green and the idea of leaving the European Union (the UKIP option) is an attractive one that should be supported. But there is only really one option for this country and that is to vote for a party that is patriotic, which is British, which is elitist, which is nationalistic, which believes that the only socialism or the only social concern that really is validated by history, by genetics, by identity is patriotism."

"What do we think should be done with the murderers of Baby P? Yes, we should hang them until they are dead, and we should let the masses see it, and we should televise it and put it on before Question Time."

"We have become subordinate to the United States, and those in our clerisy, our elite, who think that the United States isn't the answer, want to get closer to Europe as an alternative model. In other words, whatever model they choose, Britain isn't in the middle or the first port of call, because they believe that Britain is over. They believe they can rule over the ruins, but it's the culture of the ruins that ruins the culture."

"The point of the New Right is to support all discourses that portend to inequality. If the Right believes in anything it believes in the moral goodness of inequality in all forms, and therefore we support discourse that manifests inegalitarianism and inequality."

"People are unequal! 75% of it's genetic and biological. Partly criminality's biological; predispositions to drug addictions are biological; intelligence is biological; beauty is biological; ferocity or a predisposition to it is biological; intellect is biological. You can do a bit, but you're born to be what you are, and we should celebrate what we were born to be."

"If people with our sorts of values ruled modernity, everything about this society would be at one level the same, and in every other respect completely different. People would still drive contemporary cars, there'd still be jets, and there'd still be supercomputers and so on, but the texture and the nature of life would be different in every respect. How so? Firstly, cultures would be mono-ethnic. Secondly, there would be a respect for the past glories of our civilisation. Thirdly, we would not preface every attempt to be strong by saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what we have done..." We're not sorry! And we've stepped over the prospect of being sorry."

"This mantle of the heroic whereby Right-wing existentialists like Captain America fight against the extreme Right in accordance with democratic values is one of the interesting tricks that’s played with the nature of the heroic... They’ve always known this. Michael Moorcock, amongst others, speaks of the danger of subliminal Rightism in much fantasy writing where you can slip into an unknowing, uncritical ultra-Right and uncritical attitude towards the masculine, towards the heroic, towards the vanquishing of forces you don’t like, towards self-transcendence, for example."

"Everything is ideological. Every BBC news broadcast is totally ideological, and is in some respects a soft form of Communism, which is what liberalism is... If I was running the BBC, it would be slightly different from what's on tonight."

"Liberalism is moral syphilis, and I'm stepping over it!"

"But the truth of the matter is the more English you become through remembrance and historicism and identification, the more British you are. And the more British you are, the more European you are. And by European, I mean White. Nothing to do with an endorsement of the politics of the European Union. And the more you esteem and value yourself the more you will be interested in the culture of your own people and what they have achieved."