"(While shooting gleefully into a crowd of rioters, Nite Owl asks him what happened to the American Dream) What happened to the American dream? It came true! You're looking at it!"

"It's a joke. It's all a fuckin' joke."

"(After Rorschach tells him that justice matters) Justice is coming to all of us. No matter what the fuck we do."

"You know, mankind's been trying to kill each other off since the beginning of time; now, we finally have the power to finish the job. Ain't nothing gonna matter once those nukes start flying; we'll all be dust. [sets fire to a map of the United States.] And Ozymandias here will be the smartest man on the cinder."

"Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man: Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you — only you — that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos; it's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home."

"I've walked across the surface of the sun, seen events so tiny and so fast that they hardly can be said to have occurred at all. But you, Adrian...are just a man. And the world's smartest man poses no more threat to me than does its smartest termite."

"[rips camera off the wall and speaks into it to Killian, who just offered him a job as a Stalker] You cold-blooded bastard! I'll tell you what I think of it. I'll live to see you eat that contract! But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and BREAK YOUR GODDAMN SPINE! [smashes camera]"

"The year is 2019. The finest men in America don't run for President. They run for their lives."

"[On the phone getting chewed out by government officials for the death of Subzero] Yes, I know a Stalker died. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Well, it IS a contact sport. Now look, you people at the Justice Department cannot have it both ways! You hired me to entertain. If you want to keep the people away from tax revolts, food riots, and bread lines and parked in front of their TVs? Well, you ain't gonna get that with reruns of Gilligan's Island!...Gilligan's Island?...You know!...[Hums a few bars from "The Ballad of Gilligan's Island"]...Yes, the one with the boat!"

"Sven-Ole Thorsen - Sven"

"Erland Van Lidth De Jeude - Dynamo"

"Jim Brown - Fireball"

"Jesse Ventura - Captain Freedom"

"Gus Rethwisch - Eddie "Buzzsaw" Vatowski"

"Charles Kalani - Professor Subzero"

"Mick Fleetwood - Mic"

"Marvin J. McIntyre - Harold Weiss"

"Yaphet Kotto - William Laughlin"

"Richard Dawson - Damon Killian"

"María Conchita Alonso - Amber Mendez"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger - Ben Richards"

"2019. A game nobody survives. This year might be the exception."

"It is the year 2017. "The Running Man" is a deadly game no one has ever survived. But..... Schwarzenegger has yet to play."

"A game nobody survives. But Schwarzenegger has yet to play."

"Brian Howe as Steve Kowalski"

"Choua Kue as Youa ("Yum-yum")"

"Geraldine Hughes as Karen Kowalski"

"Doua Moua as Spider"

"Brian Haley as Mitch Kowalski"

"John Carroll Lynch as Barber Martin"

"Ahney Her as Sue Lor"

"Christopher Carley as Father Janovich"

"Bee Vang as Thao Vang Lor"

"Clint Eastwood as Walt Kowalski"

"What are all you fish heads looking at anyway?"

"(While holding a gangster he had just badly beaten at gunpoint) Alright, here's the deal: You stay away from Thao, understand? You tell your friends to stay away from Thao. And if they don't listen to you, you tell 'em you don't wanna see them anymore. That's it. Got it? (The gangster doesn't respond) I'll take that as a yes, 'cause if I have to come back here, it's gonna get fucking ugly."

"God, I've got more in common with these gooks than I do with my own spoiled-rotten family. Jesus. Happy birthday."

"Get up. Get off my lawn! [aiming his M1 Garand rifle]"

"Oh, I've got one. A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fuck out of here.""

"How many swamp rats can you fit in one room?"

"What is she, a walking wildlife encyclopedia?"

"Dwayne Johnson - Beck"

"You're going to take me to O Gato do Diabo. [Cocks gun] And you're going to take me now."

"I'd offer you a beer, but I think you blew up my bar."

"(to Beck) The smiling fool."

"Oh, shit! [collapses dead]"

"That's a lot of cows."

"You're dead already. You just don't know it."

"I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me."

"I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them... Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They've got my tooth. I want it back."