"Sheriff, if I may, why’d you request the state to send backup for one night to curfew a place the size of a postage stamp? [He laughs] Oh, don’t get me wrong. I got a wife and kid on the way and I do love the overtime pay."

"[In the flashback, to The Hawthornes] Well, the good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit 'til I get the part. Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked. But I do have a place you can stay tonight. Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning."

"Hey, it’s gonna be about $250 for the tow, and we’ll need all four tires replaced. And there was something wrong with that chip, I think. But I can fix it for about $1,000. Yep. [The Janitor pulls a credit card out of his wallet] No, cash only. Uh-uh, no. And in advance. Yeah, I don’t take no plastic credit cards. [The Janitor sees an ATM machine with an "Out of order" sign] Oh, that over there. [Jed Love chuckles] Yeah, we ain’t got no internet in Hayesville. Yeah, so all the ATMs, they just don’t work. Yeah, we were gonna get it, but they just didn’t. [He laughs] You ain’t got the cash, huh? Now, ain’t that a dilly of a pickle? Hmm. You willing to work it off? Okay, then. I think I’ve got somebody who can accommodate."

"[to The Janitor] Yeah, I tell everybody that attempts the 50, there ain’t shit out here, but you gotta be prepared for anything. A bunch of fun-loving kids stole the zigzag out of the back of the sheriff’s pickup a month ago. Guess you found it for ’em. [He laughs] You know what some folks consider funny? Just ruin a man’s whole damn day. God’s honest truth. Now, where’d you say you’re from? Oh, you’re one of those guys that don’t wanna look back, huh? You’re one where the past lives in the past, huh? Yeah, I understand. No, I can’t blame you. I mean, we all got so much baggage. I just say, move forward. You’re a rolling stone. Yup. We had a car chase around here a while back. Some boy got up to 150 miles an hour, just launched it right off Tension’s Peak, man. It’s like a superhero. It went fwoom! Carnage was terrible. It was just… wow."

"[watching as The Janitor puts the bagged animatronics in the dumpster] That G.D. S.O.B. [The Janitor waves at her] Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. [to The Janitor, holding him at gunpoint] Hold it right there, boy. Inside, now! [marching The Janitor into Willy's Wonderland] Move! We had a good thing, but you just went and fucked it all up. Look at me. Look at me when I’m talking to you. All you had to do was die. Was that so hard? No, you just had to go ahead and stay alive, and now we got five dead kids because of you! You might have taken apart a few electronics, but I got a feeling that you can’t stop a round. [to Willy Weasel] Willy! [to The Janitor] Willy needs to eat, and I’m gonna feed him. [to Willy Weasel] Willy, come and get it! [Suddenly, the lights go out. Willy Weasel appears behind her and slices her in half. Both of her halves fall to the floor]"

"I’ll give you two reasons why you are: your wife and your kid. If we don’t do what needs to be done, nobody in this county is safe. [to The Janitor, as Deputy Evan Olson cuffs The Janitor's hands together] Why couldn’t you just die? [to Liv Hawthorne] Where are the others?"

"Oh. Stupid idiots. It’ll just incite him more. [to Willy Weasel, apologetically] Willy, this guy does not act for us. His actions should in no way reflect on the town of Hayesville. You know that, right, Willy? [to Deputy Evan Olson, holding The Janitor at gunpoint] Well, cuff him. For God’s sakes, cuff him."

"[to The Janitor] I'm gonna feast on your face!"

"[At the end of the movie, popping out of a gray screen as a cartoon version of himself, to the audience] And remember, friends, the party never ends! [offscreen, singing with other animatronics] At Willy's Wonderland!"

"Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls. I think it’s time for them to go nightie night. [singing with other animatronics] It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun. [Their voices distort] It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone..."

"[singing with other animatronics] We’re All Friends. We Like to Play. Play, play, play every night and day. We’re All Friends. We Like to Sing. Sing, sing, sing; it’s a wonderful thing! We’re All Friends. We Like to Run. Run, run, run to the beat of the drum. We’re All Friends. We Like to Dance. Dance, dance, dance like there’s ants in our pants. [speaking] Have you been to my Super Happy Fun Room yet? Well, what are you waiting for? [singing with other animatronics] The Super Happy Fun Room is super happy fun. Join us in the Fun Room, where you’ll be number one. Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs, soda and candy too. The Super Happy Fun Room."

"[in a commercial] Hey, kids! You know what time it is? It's birthday time! [singing with other animatronics] It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. It's your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It's your birthday, so let's party everyone. [speaking] Okay now, kids. Clap your hands like there's no tomorrow. [singing with other animatronics] We welcome you to Willy's, where everyone's your friend. [speaking] That's right. [singing with other animatronics] Here at Willy's Wonderland, the good times never end. Birthday fun for everyone, how old are you today? Everyone at Willy's is hoping you will stay. [speaking] Forever! [singing with other animatronics] It's birthday time, it's birthday time, it's birthday time. Let's cheer at Willy's Wonderland! [speaking] Proudly serving families since 1984."

"You don’t know what it’s like living with her. My entire life, it’s like I’ve been a ghost. And no matter what I do, it doesn’t change who she is. So I thought maybe I could do something right and burn this fucking place down. So I am doing something. What about you? Hmm? You just gonna sit there and watch all of this happen and not do anything about it?"

"Then what are you? You’re complicit. You’re just another cult member recruited by the sheriff to do all of her dirty work."

"What’s worse, the dead body you saw, or the guy that you left to die? Are you ready to be a murderer? Because that’s exactly what you’re gonna be. You’re gonna be a cold-blooded… [The tires squeal as Deputy Evan Olson stops the police car]"

"This town has a dark history and it all starts with this horrible place."

"Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now. [walking up to Siren Sara] Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me."

"[to The Janitor] Thank God you’re still alive. We gotta get you outta here. I stopped that bitch, but that won’t keep her away for long, so… [as The Janitor walks away] Hey! Did you not hear what I just said? [as The Janitor leaves The Fairy Room] Hey!"

"I’m sorry, but I’m just not okay with letting somebody burn alive in there if we can do something about it."

"Okay, shut up. Guys. If we’re doing this, we’re gonna do this as a mission, not a field trip. Are you with me or not?"

"You booked a river cruise and you can't swim?"

"Paul Giamatti as Nilo Nemolato"

"Jesse Plemons – Prince Joachim"

"Jack Whitehall as MacGregor Houghton"

"Édgar Ramírez – Aguirre"

"Emily Blunt – Dr. Lily Houghton"

"Dwayne Johnson - Frank Wolff / Francisco Lopez de Heredia"

"She was always chasing after some far-fetched idea. There's no such things as curses."

"Breaking and entering, grand larceny, and worst of all, forced to take public transport. Should I be concerned about you"