"Nobody's gonna set themselves up above the law around here. You understand? I've got somethin' to say to you. I think maybe I can illustrate it a little better if I told you a story. I used to have a friend that was an Opry singer. But he went into the cement business. And one day, he fell into the cement. And now he's the cornerstone of the post office in St. Louis, Missouri. He should have stuck to his own trade. You'd better stick to yours."

"[to Frenchy, as she throws bottles at him] You sure have a knack of makin' a stranger feel right at home, ma'am. Nice knowin' ya."

"[about the saloon customers] The longer they wait, the better they like it."

"I'm out to make a new life for myself. I'm out to learn how to enjoy my leisure, now I've retired. I've been doing things people expected of me always. I want to feel free. I want to sit under a linden tree with nothing more important to worry about than the temperature of the beer, if there is anything more important."

"Harlan Briggs - Tubby Pearson"

"Spring Byington - Matey Pearson"

"John Payne - Harry McKee"

"Odette Myrtil - Renée De Penable"

"Maria Ouspenskaya - Baroness Von Obersdorf"

"Gregory Gaye - Baron Kurt Von Obersdorf"

"David Niven - Captain Clyde Lockert"

"Kathryn Marlowe - Emily Dodsworth McKee"

"Mary Astor - Mrs. Edith Cortright"

"Paul Lukas - Arnold Iselin"

"Ruth Chatterton - Fran Dodsworth"

"Walter Huston - Sam Dodsworth"

"Baroness: Have you thought how little happiness there can be for the old wife of a young husband?"

"Did I remember to tell you today that I adore you?"

"I'm out to see the world I haven't seen and get a perspective on the USA. I might get to know myself at the same time. I might even get to know my wife."

"[impromptu radio announcement during the football match] Last week at this same hour I told you that Mrs. Moskowitz was expecting a blessed event. Well, last night Mrs. Moskowitz had twins. O-kay Mr Moskowitz! [blows siren whistle]"

"Walter Brennan - Football commentator (uncredited)"

"Theresa Harris - Laura, Connie's maid"

"James Pierce - Darwin football player Mullen"

"Nat Pendleton - Darwin football player MacHardie"

"E. H. Calvert - Professor in Wagstaff's office"

"Reginald Barlow - Retiring President"

"Robert Greig - Biology professor Hornsvogel"

"David Landau - Jennings"

"Thelma Todd - Connie Bailey"

"Zeppo Marx - Frank Wagstaff"

"Chico Marx - Baravelli"

"Harpo Marx - Pinky"

"Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff"

"Last week at this same hour I told you Mrs. Moskowitz was expecting a blessed event. Well, last night Mrs.Moskowitz had twins. O-KAY! MISTER MOSKOWITZ!! [blows a "crazy whistle"]"

"[to Baravelli and Pinky, who have abandoned the football match in favor of playing cards] Do you realize what happens if we lose? It means shame! Disgrace! Humiliation! And besides, you're crazy if you don't play the ace!"

"[about Connie] I'm the plumber. I'm just hanging around in case something goes wrong with her pipes. [To the audience] That's the first time I've used that joke in 20 years."

"[to Baravelli] You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."

"[singing] I don't know what they have to say. It makes no difference anyway. Whatever it is, I'm against it."

"LOOK THIS GIFT IN THE FACE IF YOU WANT A BIG HORSE-LAUGH!"