Screenwriters from New York City

201 quotes found

"Lady, it rose below vulgarity."

- Mel Brooks

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"Who's the dummy writing this show?!"

- Mel Brooks

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"I was in the middle of shooting the last few weeks of Blazing Saddles somewhere in the Antelope Valley, and Gene Wilder and I were having a cup of coffee and he said, I have this idea that there could be another "Frankenstein." I said not another — we've had the son of, the cousin of, the brother-in-law, we don't need another Frankenstein. His idea was very simple: What if the grandson of Dr. Frankenstein wanted nothing to do with the family whatsoever. He was ashamed of those wackos. I said, "That's funny.""

- Mel Brooks

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"Comedy is a weird but very beautiful thing. Even though it seems foolish and silly and crazy, comedy has the most to say about the human condition. Because if you can laugh, you can get by. You can survive when things are bad when you have a sense of humor."

- Mel Brooks

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"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes."

- Mel Brooks

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"If they [presidents] can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country."

- Mel Brooks

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"To me, tragedy is if I'll cut my finger, that's tragedy...Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die."

- Mel Brooks

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"[explaining that Paul Revere was Anti-Semitic] He was scared they were moving into the neighborhood. "They're coming, they're coming. The Yiddish, they're coming""

- Mel Brooks

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"After I eat asparagus..."

- Mel Brooks

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"You know Cuneiform? You know Sanskrit? It's neither of those."

- Mel Brooks

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"Angel of Death ain't kissing me! I'm full of garlic!"

- Mel Brooks

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"It's Wheird, there's an H in there. Gotta hit that H otherwise they think I'm some sort of a kook!"

- Mel Brooks

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"[on ancient poetry] Nog Nog! Mkellen bebog! V'luch Matuch Maluch M'tog!"

- Mel Brooks

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"[on the greatest invention] Liquid Prell."

- Mel Brooks

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"No! You don't wear a hat on your gentles! You wear a hat on your head where you're supposed to wear a hat!"

- Mel Brooks

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"[On Churchill's Accent] "Ve must conquer da Narjies!" Now, we were fighting and killing Nazis. We all left and went looking for Narjies!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Max Bialystock: That's it, baby, when you've got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Max Bialystock: I'm wearing a cardboard belt!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Stormtrooper Mel : Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi Party!"

- Mel Brooks

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"LSD as Adolf Hitler: Heil Baby!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Lead Tenor Stormtrooper: Springtime, for Hitler, and Germany Winter, for Poland and France!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings! Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Hope for the best. Expect the worst. The world's a stage. We're unrehearsed. No way of knowing which way it's going. Take your chances, there are no answers. Hope for the best. Expect the worst."

- Mel Brooks

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"Jim "The Waco Kid": My name is Jim, but most people call me...Jim."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Good mornin', ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'? Old Woman: Up yours, nigger! Jim "The Waco Kid": [consoling Bart afterwards]: What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers … these are people of the land … the common clay of the New West. You know – morons."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Where the white women at?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Railway Worker: You shifty nigger! They said you was hung! Sheriff Bart : And they was right!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart [waking up a drunk Jim in jail]: Are we awake? Jim "The Waco Kid": We're not sure. Are we...black? Sheriff Bart: Yes, we are. Jim "The Waco Kid": Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Jim "The Waco Kid": Oh you know, play chess...screw. Sheriff Bart: (Quickly) Let's play chess!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up."

- Mel Brooks

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"Igor (limping off): Walk this way — and Dr. Frankenstein limps off after him."

- Mel Brooks

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"Dr. Frankenstein:: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags? Igor:: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban."

- Mel Brooks

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"Igor:: Sed-a... Inga:: Sed-a... Igor:: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dr. Frankenstein Damn your eyes! Igor (pointing at his lazy eye) Too late!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Josephus: I'm Josephus, and I'm the main course over at the Colosseum!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Count de Monet: [consistently mispronounced as "count da money"] Bearnaise? Bernaise: Yes? Count de Monet: Do we have any of those delicious raisins left? Bearnaise: You ate yours. These are mine. Count de Monet: Au contraire, they are mine! I paid for them! Hand them over! Bearnaise: [gives the bag of raisins to the Count, sotto voce, mimicking] 'Au contraire, I paid for them! They're mine!' [blows a raspberry] Count de Monet: Don't be saucy with me, Bearnaise! Bernaise: [mouths] Bitch."

- Mel Brooks

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"Count de Monet: It is said that the people are revolting King Louis XVI: You said it. They stink on ice."

- Mel Brooks

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"Impoverished Paris Street Merchant (Jack Carter): Rats, rats for sale. Get your rats. Good for rat stew, rat soup, or the ever-popular ratatouille."

- Mel Brooks

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"Other Street Merchant: Nothing, I have absolutely nothing for sale!"

- Mel Brooks

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"King Louis XVI: [prior to his arrest] It's good to be the king. [also used in Robin Hood- Men In Tights and The Producers [Musical]]"

- Mel Brooks

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"Tomás de Torquemada: It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull."

- Mel Brooks

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"Moses: Lord, I shall give these laws unto thy people. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?! All pay heed! The Lord! The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen- [drops one of the tablets] Oy. Ten! Ten commandments! For all to obey!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Madame Defarge: And now, let us end this meeting on a high note. [proceeds to sing a sharp high note, followed by the rest of the revolutionaries]"

- Mel Brooks

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"Jail Inmates: Eighty fff...Eighty fff...Eighty fff...Eighty fff...Eighty Six!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Excuse me, is this England?"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet: I see your schwartz is as big as mine."

- Mel Brooks

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"Radar Officer: I've lost the sweeps, the bleeps, and the creeps! [Explains via vocal sound effects] Dark Helmet [aside to Colonel Sandurz]: That's not all he's lost."

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet : What? You went over my helmet?"

- Mel Brooks

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"President Skroob: What the hell, it works on Star Trek!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz... chicken?!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet [after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is "Asshole."]: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes."

- Mel Brooks

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"Lonestar: That's all we needed, a Druish Princess!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Dark Helmet : So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

- Mel Brooks

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"Ahchoo:Man, white men can't jump!!"

- Mel Brooks

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"King Richard: From this day forward, all toilets in this kingdom shall be known as...'Johns'!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Little John: Let's face it — you've got to be a man to wear tights!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Man In Front of Castle: Hey Abbot!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Townspeople: A black sheriff? Blinkin: He's Black?! Ahchoo: Why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles."

- Mel Brooks

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"Robin Hood: Watch my back! Achoo: Yo' back just got punched twice."

- Mel Brooks

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"Will Scarlet Blinkin, fix your boobs, you look like a bleeding Picasso."

- Mel Brooks

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"Blinkin Aaahhhh, you lost your arms in battle, but you grew some nice boobs (Blinkin gropes the Venus De Milo statue left behind after creditors take away Loxley Castle)"

- Mel Brooks

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"Robin Hood: Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with a English accent."

- Mel Brooks

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"Sheriff of Rotingham King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is!"

- Mel Brooks

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"Spiegel: Can you also get your revenge on him by using comedy?"

- Mel Brooks

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"He understands not only with his brain but with his heart. And that might be called love. Not quite sure, but maybe that's the key."

- Mel Brooks

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"Mel Brooks has all the consistency of Spike Milligan, the subtle self-censorship of Benny Hill, and the human warmth of Bob Monkhouse. It's a good job he has the brassneck and occasional brainstorms of Mel Brooks or he would be a monster."

- Mel Brooks

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"Mel is sensual with me. He treats me like an uncle — a dirty uncle. He's an earthy man and very moral underneath. He has traditional values."

- Mel Brooks

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"All the apprehensions that surface in Brooks's comedy have the same eventual source: a fear — or, to put it more positively, a hatred — of death."

- Mel Brooks

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"I was at a point where I was ready to say I am what I am because of what I am and if you like me I'm grateful, and if you don't, what am I going to do about it?"

- Anne Bancroft

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"There are always good parts. They may not pay what you want, and they may not have as many days' work as you want, they may not have the billing that you want, they may not have a lot of things, but — the content of the role itself — I find there are many roles."

- Anne Bancroft

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"If there are, let's say, 20 astronauts, there may be two women among those 20 astronauts. If there are 20 FBI guys, there's one woman and the rest are men. So when somebody writes a script about life, usually the leading role will be the man, because mostly what women do is at home taking care of the children...That's the most important job there is on Earth. And why shouldn't women have it since they are the better of the two sexes?"

- Anne Bancroft

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"I don't quite jump for joy, but I am awfully glad to see him."

- Anne Bancroft

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"First of all, you have to marry the right person. If you marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, then no matter how hard you work, it's never going to work, because then you have to completely change yourself, completely change them, completely — by that time, you're both dead. So I think you have to marry for the right reasons, and marry the right person."

- Anne Bancroft

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"He understands not only with his brain but with his heart. And that might be called love. Not quite sure, but maybe that's the key."

- Anne Bancroft

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"I identified with both women. But Emma had a stronger message for the women I want to speak to now— women who work. I wanted to tell them that choosing to work doesn't make them oddballs and isn't antisocial."

- Anne Bancroft

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"I am quite surprised, that with all my work, and some of it is very, very good, that nobody talks about The Miracle Worker. We're talking about Mrs. Robinson. I understand the world... I'm just a little dismayed that people aren't beyond it yet."

- Anne Bancroft

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"To this day, when men meet me, there's always that movie in the back of their mind."

- Anne Bancroft

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"I like how if you criticize the war you don't support the troops. You're the ones sending them over to die, so how is it I don’t support them? If the army was made up of child molesters, then I'd support them. If we went to an all child molester army, I would be their biggest supporter. "Please don't bring the troops home. Stay the course. Keep them there a long time." But they're not child molesters. And they're not the Twins, that’s for sure. Where are the Twins? Send in the Twins. I'd like to hear that scene. "Jenna, Barbara... Daddy and I have talked it over and we want you to go fight in Iraq." …Ah, what's the use?"

- Larry David

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"If every student was like me in college, we'd still be in Vietnam."

- Larry David

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"One thing about Hitler that I admire is that he wouldn't take any shit from magicians." (Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO special)"

- Larry David

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"Let me tell you something; I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish. (When accused of being a self-loathing Jew; Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 2, Episode 3, "Trick or Treat")"

- Larry David

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"(on not going to his high school prom) I wasn't aware of the prom. I had no idea that it was even going on, not that I would have gone. It's not the kind of thing that would ever occur to me. You would think I would have heard about it in school, but I didn't. (Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book)"

- Larry David

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"Pretty...pretty...pretty......pretty.....pretty good. (Curb Your Enthusiasm, passim)"

- Larry David

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"This is a sad day for the Emmy's. It is, however, a good day for Larry David. I imagine the wife will be forthcoming tonight. (Accepting an Emmy Award)"

- Larry David

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"(Asked if he believes in miracles) I believe that every erection is a miracle. (Curb Season 7, Episode 6 "The Bare Midriff")."

- Larry David

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"I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people."

- Larry David

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"I have to let him know that he's potentially destroying his movie, that he could be making a terrible, terrible error. I needed to let him know that I didn't know or think that I was capable of doing this."

- Larry David

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"I've had some experience in this arena. So it wasn't foreign to me to have a woman say she doesn't want to see me anymore."

- Larry David

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"Listen, this is crazy. I look like I'm 75 years old. Nobody wants to watch an old man being funny. That's just a fact. No one wants to see this old man on TV."

- Larry David

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"A lot of sexual harassment stuff in the news, and I couldn't help but notice a very disturbing pattern emerging, which is that many of the predators, not all, but many of them are Jews"

- Larry David

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"I even found myself doing a routine on Saturday Night Live with my impersonator Larry David, who did Bernie Sanders better than I did."

- Larry David

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"We're going to give men what they really want to see on TV. Monkeys, midgets, beer drinking and women jumping on trampolines."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"We wanted to figure out a way to get crank phone calls on television. Watching someone on TV talking on a phone isn't that entertaining, and obviously we couldn't send a camera crew around to the people getting the calls, so it was limited to either animation or puppets. And puppets seemed halfway between cartoons and people, so that seemed like the most real way that we could do it."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"We use puppets because they can get away with more."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I'm excited, but I am also realistic. I have seen what happened to the people who came before me and failed. It's an unforgiving arena to be in."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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""To be perfectly honest with you, ABC picks you to do this and then the machine goes into action and you shoot promos. But I'm still sitting in my bedroom at home going, 'Jeez, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.' And it's a weird situation to be in. And I guess we'll all find out."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I don't believe that lack of intelligence and appreciation for lowbrow comedy go hand-in-hand necessarily."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I believe that David Letterman is the greatest talk show host that ever hosted a talk show. He'd be the last person to say that and he'd probably be horrified to hear that, but I really do believe that. Anything I do, I feel, is a pale imitation at best of what he does. I just try to do whatever I can not to imitate him, because that is the inclination when you idolize somebody, when you watch the show every night growing up as a kid."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I'm on the Internet a lot more than I watch TV and most everybody I know is, and yet if you watch most late-night talk shows, it's as if it doesn't even exist. So the Internet, it's just something I wanted to make use of in some way. I was fascinated by what appeared to be a child singing this song. It just struck me as funny."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"There's something comforting and pleasurable about watching people win money."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Though it makes me sick to do so without my writers, there are more than a hundred people whose financial well-being depends on our show. It is time to go back to work."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"There were a lot of people who didn't think we'd get to this milestone."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I'm not seen as classy enough to host the Oscars."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Perfecto. He is going to buy that swing-state $100 bill at a time. Its nice to see him paying someone who isn't a porn star for a change"

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Many in MAGA-land are working very hard to capitalize on the murder of Charlie Kirk.""

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted, if you're just joining us, we're preempting your regularly scheduled encore episode of Celebrity Family Feud to bring you this special report. I'm happy to be here tonight with you. Please be seated. I'm not sure who had a weirder 48 hours: me or the CEO of Tylenol. It's been overwhelming. I've heard from a lot of people over the last six days. I've heard from all the people in the world over the last six days. Anyone I have ever met has reached out 10 or 11 times."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Even though I don't agree with many of those people on most subjects — some of the things they say even make me want to throw up — it takes courage for them to speak out against this administration, and they did, and they deserve credit for it. And thanks for telling your followers that our government cannot be allowed to control what we do and do not say on television and that we have to stand up to it."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I've been hearing a lot about what I need to say and do tonight. And the truth is I don't think what I have to say is going to make much of a difference. If you like me, you like me. If you don't, you don't. I have no illusions about changing anyone's mind. But I do want to make something clear because it's important to me as a human. And that is you understand that it was never my intention to make light of the murder of a young man. I don't — I don't think there's anything funny about it. I posted a message on Instagram on the day he was killed sending love to his family and asking for compassion and I meant it and I still do. Nor was it my intention to blame any specific group for the actions of what … was obviously a deeply disturbed individual. That was really the opposite of the point I was trying to make."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I understand that to some that felt either ill-timed or unclear or maybe both. And for those who think I did point a finger, I get why you're upset. If the situation was reversed, there's a good chance I'd have felt the same way. I have many friends and family members on the other side who I love and remain close to even though we don't agree on politics at all. I don't think the murderer who shot Charlie Kirk represents anyone. This was a sick person who believed violence was a solution, and it isn't it, ever."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I am a person who gets a lot of threats. I get many ugly and scary threats against my life, my wife, my kids, my co-workers because of what I choose to say. And I know those threats don't come from the kind of people on the right who I know and love. So that's what I wanted to say on that subject. But I don't want to make this about me, because — and I know this is what people say when they make things about them, but I really don't — this show, this show is not important. What is important is that we get to live in a country that allows us to have a show like this. I've had the opportunity to meet and spend time with comedians and talk show hosts from countries like Russia, countries in the Middle East who tell me they would get thrown in prison for making fun of those in power. And worse than being thrown in prison. They know how lucky we are here. Our freedom to speak is what they admire most about this country. And that's something I'm embarrassed to say I took for granted until they pulled my friend Stephen off the air and tried to coerce the affiliates who run our show in the cities that you live in to take my show off the air. That's not legal. That's not American. That is un-American and it is so dangerous."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I've been fortunate to work at a company that has allowed me to do the show the way we want to do it for almost 23 years. I've done almost 4,000 shows on ABC. And over that time, the people who run this network have allowed me to evolve and to stretch the boundaries of what was once traditional for a late night talk show, even when it made them uncomfortable, which I do a lot. Every night, they've defended my right to poke fun at our leaders and to advocate for subjects that I think are important by allowing me to use their platform. And I am very grateful for that. With that said, I was not happy when they pulled me off the air on Wednesday. I did not agree with that decision and I told them that and we had many conversations. I shared my point of view. They shared theirs. We talked it through and at the end, even though they didn't have to — they really didn't have to, this is a giant company, we have short attention spans and I am a tiny part of the Disney Corporation — they welcomed me back on the air and I thank them for that because I know that unfortunately and, I think, unjustly, this puts them at risk."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"The president of the United States made it very clear he wants to see me and the hundreds of people who work here fired from our jobs. Our leader celebrates Americans losing their livelihoods because he can't take a joke. He was somehow able to squeeze Colbert out of CBS. Then he turned his sights on me, and now he's openly rooting for NBC to fire Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers and the hundreds of Americans who work for their shows who don't make millions of dollars. And I hope that if that happens or if there's even any hint of that happening, you will be 10 times as loud as you were this week. We have to speak out against this because he's not stopping. And it's not just comedy. He's gunning for our journalists, too. He's suing them. He's bullying them. Over the weekend, his Foxy friend Pete Hegseth announced a new policy that requires journalists with Pentagon press credentials to sign a pledge, promising not to report information that hasn't been explicitly authorized for release. That includes unclassified information. They want to pick and choose what the news is. I know that's not as interesting as muscling a comedian, but it's so important to have a free press, and it is nuts that we aren't paying more attention to it."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"I never imagined I would be in a situation like this. I barely paid attention in school. But one thing I did learn from Lenny Bruce and George Carlin and Howard Stern is that a government threat to silence a comedian the president doesn't like is anti-American. That's anti-American. And I am so glad we have some solidarity on that from the right and the left and from those in the middle like Joe Rogan. Maybe the silver lining from this is we found one thing we can agree on, and maybe we'll even find another one. Maybe we can get a little bit closer together. We do agree on a lot of things. We agree on keeping our children safe from guns, on reproductive rights for women, Social Security, affordable health care, pediatric cancer research. These are all things that most Americans support. Let's stop letting these politicians tell us what they want and tell them what we want."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"There was a moment over the weekend, a very beautiful moment. I don't know if you saw this on Sunday. Erika Kirk forgave the man who shot her husband. She forgave him. That is an example we should follow. If you believe in the teachings of Jesus as I do, there it was. That's, that's it. A selfless act of grace, forgiveness from a grieving widow. It touched me deeply, and I hope it touches many, and if there's anything we should take from this tragedy to carry forward, I hope it can be that and not this."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang trying to characterize this kid who killed Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"He's a very driven, very focused and very dedicated guy, and it's basically like a dictatorship working with him. He's not scared to tell you that your idea sucks."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"We've always known Jimmy's had a great deal of raw talent. It's exciting watching him use that talent to become such a dynamic and gifted late night host. The sky is the limit for Jimmy and this show."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"But you have to recognize the fact that, critically, Jimmy is great at what he does, and I think he's doing some of the best comedy in late night. I'm a very big fan."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"When you look at the conduct that has taken place by Jimmy Kimmel, um, it appears to be some of the sickest conduct possible. Uh, as you've indicated, there are, y'know, avenues here for the FCC so there are some ways in which I need to be a little bit, uh, careful: because we could be called ultimately to be a judge on some of these claims that come up. But I don't think this is an isolated incident. You go back to Representative Swalwell, he had a tweet out last week, where he was saying that, y'know, emphasizing that Charlie Kirk's killer was "a straight white male from Republican family that voted for Donald Trump." In some quarters there's a very concerted effort to try to lie to the American people.about the nature, as you indicated, one of the most significant, uh, newsworthy public interest acts that we've seen in a long time. In what appears to be an action by Jimmy Kimmel to play into that narrative that this was somehow a MAGA or Republican motivated person. If that's what happened here with his conduct, that's really really sick."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Unsurprisingly, the dragnet is widening. I woke up this morning to news about late-night television host Jimmy Kimmel being “suspended indefinitely.” (That probably means his show is canceled.) According to the AP, it’s because comments he “made about Charlie Kirk’s killing led a group of ABC-affiliated stations to say it would not air the show and provoked some ominous comments from a top federal regulator.”<br<What comments? Before I tell you what Jimmy Kimmel said, it’s important to tell you what other people are saying he said. Why? Because it’s like a sinister game of telephone), and the farther we get from the facts of what he said, the more chances there are for the totalitarians among us to replace reality with lies, making us all liars (not to mention insane). First, a voice from the right, Piers Morgan: “Jimmy Kimmel lied about Charlie Kirk’s assassin being MAGA. This caused understandable outrage all over America, prompted TV station owners to say they wouldn’t air him, and he’s now been suspended by his employers. Why is he being heralded as some kind of free speech martyr?” Second, a voice from the left, MSNBC’s Chris Hayes: The ABC affiliates said they would refuse “to air Kimmel’s show, they say, because the comments the late night host made on Monday night relating to the motives of the man who shot and killed Charlie Kirk wrongly suggest[ed] the killer was part of the maga movement. He was not.” Morgan is wrong. Kimmel didn’t lie. Hayes is wrong, too. Jimmy Kimmel did not suggest “the killer was part of the maga movement.” Here’s what he said, per the AP: “The MAGA Gang [is] desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it. In between the finger-pointing, there was grieving.” Also: “Many in MAGA land are working very hard to capitalize on the murder of Charlie Kirk.” See anything wrong here? I don’t."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"ABC could have chosen to interpret Kimmel’s words in his favor – he didn’t say what critics said he said. Instead, it chose to interpret his words in maga’s favor. It sacrificed Kimmel in the misbegotten hope that doing so will appease them. It won’t. I don’t mean ABC won’t get something for failing to take its own side in a fight. (I have no idea what it might gain.) I mean surrendering in advance won’t end well, as we have seen in countries like Hungary and Turkey, where “autocratic carrots and sticks,” as Brian Stelter put it, have led to their respective governments having near-total control of the media. No one in Hungary mocks Viktor Orban. No one in Turkey jokes about Tayyip Erdogan. And that’s what Donald Trump wants. Jimmy Kimmel isn’t just a comedian. To the president and maga faithful, he represents “the left,” which is to say, anyone who has enough independence of mind to laugh. Indeed, that might be the biggest obstacle to their hostile takeover attempt. If you have the courage to laugh at the reality of the human condition, you don’t need a strongman like Donald Trump to save you from the truth about it. But courage, like the enforcement of antitrust law, is lacking. It’s one thing for the state to bully private enterprise. It’s another for private enterprise to roll over, because it believes rolling over is its interest."

- Jimmy Kimmel

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"Stare at me in this faceless way, go mad with desire, and rip my clothes off. It's terrific. In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. The fantasy of rape — of which mine is in a kind of prepubescent sub-category — is common enough among women and (in mirror image) among men."

- Nora Ephron

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"I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive."

- Nora Ephron

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"Insane people are always sure they're just fine. It's only the sane people who are willing to admit they're crazy."

- Nora Ephron

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"Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine. I think of it as my own personal bride's disease."

- Nora Ephron

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"It struck me that the movies had spent more than half a century saying, "They lived happily ever after" and the following quarter century warning that they'll be lucky to make it through the weekend. Possibly now we are entering a third era, in which the movies will be sounding a note of cautious optimism: You know, it just might work."

- Nora Ephron

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"[Hollywood] is a very male business, and it has in vast portions of it — the whole action movie part of it might as well be the United States Army in 1943 in that the ethics of it are, you know, boot camp and action movies and guns and explosions and all the rest of it, and that – so that means that about 50% of the business is not only pretty much closed off to women, but women don’t even wanna be in it!"

- Nora Ephron

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"I moved into directing for a couple of reasons. ... Most directors, I discovered, need to be convinced that the screenplay they're going to direct has something to do with them. And this is a tricky thing if you write screenplays where women have parts that are equal to or greater than the male part. And I thought, "Why am I out there looking for directors?" — because you look at a list of directors, it’s all boys. It certainly was when I started as a screenwriter. So I thought, "I’m just gonna become a director and that’ll make it easier.""

- Nora Ephron

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"The function of a blog is on some level to start a conversation that you're not involved in any more because you've already had your say. That thing of coming right off the news — did you see what I saw this morning, can you believe it? — has a kind of fun appeal."

- Nora Ephron

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"I was so tired of seeing these stupid, cheerful books about ageing. One of them even has this whole thing in it about how you are going to have the greatest sex of your life in your sixties and seventies. Which is just garbage.I thought about it and realised that there was one circumstance that you could have the best sex of your life in your sixties and seventies. That would be if you had never had sex until you were 60 or 70."

- Nora Ephron

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"Plastic surgery is a way for people to buy themselves a few years before they have to truly confront what ageing is, which of course is not that your looks are falling apart, but that you are falling apart and some-day you will have fallen apart and ceased to exist."

- Nora Ephron

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"Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don’t take it off until you’re thirty-four."

- Nora Ephron

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"With any child entering adolescence, one hunts for signs of health, is desperate for the smallest indication that the child's problems will never be important enough for a television movie."

- Nora Ephron

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"In order for it to be good, it had to be honest on both sides [to both sexes]. Nora taught me how she sees men and how she sees me and that's what I got from her more than anything, aside from the fact that she's so funny."

- Nora Ephron

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"Children are a house's enemy. They don't mean to be — they just can't help it. It's their enthusiasm, their energy, their naturally destructive tendencies."

- Delia Ephron

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"And a quick glance in the mirror turns out to be a mistake. Oh God, is that my face?"

- Delia Ephron

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"With any child entering adolescence, one hunts for signs of health, is desperate for the smallest indication that the child's problems will never be important enough for a television movie."

- Delia Ephron

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"Doyouwantogoona--Who is this? Oh, I have the wrong number."

- Delia Ephron

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"All you’re supposed to do is every once in a while give the boys a little tea and sympathy."

- Robert Anderson (playwright)

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"The dead walk among us. Zombies, ghouls — no matter what their label — these somnambulists are the greatest threat to humanity, other than humanity itself."

- Max Brooks

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"Joy, sadness, confidence, anxiety, love, hatred, fear — all of these feelings and thousands more that make up the human “heart” are as useless to the living dead as the organ of the same name. Who knows if this is humanity’s greatest weakness or strength? The debate continues, and probably will forever."

- Max Brooks

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"They teach you how to resist the enemy, how to protect your mind and spirit. They don’t teach you how to resist your own people, especially people who think they’re trying to “help” you see “the truth.”"

- Max Brooks

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"We relinquished our freedom that day, and we were more than happy to see it go. From that moment on we lived in true freedom, the freedom to point to someone else and say “They told me to do it! It’s their fault, not mine.” The freedom, God help us, to say “I was only following orders.”"

- Max Brooks

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"No one would have expected [the escalation of nuclear hostilities], but then again, no one would have expected the dead to rise, now would they? Only one could have foreseen this, and I don’t believe in him anymore."

- Max Brooks

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"The opening bombardment took out at least three-quarters of them. Only three-quarters."

- Max Brooks

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"As soon as the report came in, [General Lang] sat down at his desk, signed a few final orders, addressed and sealed a letter to his family, then put a bullet through his brain. Bastard. I hate him now even more than I did on the way to Hamburg... he knew this was just the first step of a long war and we were going to need men like him to win it... That's why he deserted us like we deserted those civilians. He saw the road ahead, a steep, treacherous mountain road. We'd all have to hike that road, each of us dragging the boulder of what he'd done behind us. [Lang] couldn't do that. He couldn't shoulder the weight."

- Max Brooks

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"The Allies had the resources, industry, and logistics of an entire planet. The Axis, on the other hand, had to depend on what scant assets they could scrape up within their borders. This time we were the Axis."

- Max Brooks

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"Ignorance was the enemy. Lies and superstition, misinformation, disinformation. Sometimes, no information at all. Ignorance killed billions of people. Ignorance caused the Zombie War. Imagine if we had known then what we know now. Imagine if the undead virus had been as understood as, say, tuberculosis was. Imagine if the world’s citizens, or at least those charged with protecting those citizens, had known exactly what they were facing. Ignorance was the real enemy, and cold, hard facts were the weapons. (Page 194-195)"

- Max Brooks

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"Attack. When I first heard that word, my gut reaction was, "oh shit". Does that surprise you? Of course it does. You probably expected "the brass" to be just champing at that bit, all that blood and guts, "hold 'em by the nose while we kick 'em in the ass" crap. I don't know who created the stereotype hard-charging, dim-witted, high school football coach of a general officer. Maybe it was Hollywood, or the civilian press, or maybe we did it to ourselves, by allowing those insipid, egocentric clowns- the MacArthurs and Halseys and Curtis E. LeMays- to define our image to the rest of the country. Point is, that's the image of those in uniform, and it couldn't be further from the truth."

- Max Brooks

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"There's a little pond, in a small town in Poland, where they used to dump the ashes. The pond is still gray, even half a century later. I've heard it said that the holocaust had no survivors, that even those who managed to remain technically alive were so irreparably damaged, that their spirit, their soul, the person that they were supposed to be, was gone forever. I'd like to think that's not true. But if it is, then no one on Earth survived this war."

- Max Brooks

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"You wanna know who lost World War Z? Whales. I guess they never really had a chance, not with several million hungry boat people and half the world's navies converted to fishing fleets. [...] So the next time someone tries to tell you about how the true losses of this war are "our innocence" or "part of our humanity"... Whatever, bro. Tell it to the whales."

- Max Brooks

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"Well alright, anyone who has dreams of world empire, look what it did to Britain. There's a reason that whole country is one big Smith song. That's actually one exciting thing about studying history, there did come a point towards the end of the 19th century where the British were just like, "this ain't worth it mate". There's a reason why in 1945 they gave us the keys to the world. They were like, "here, it's yours, take it, go, we're fine, no? India, go. Africa, go." Because they'd had enough. Because it's really hard, we can't even run ourselves. We literally have people storming our capital with signs saying , "government, keep your hands off my social security". If we can't handle that, do we really want to try and run, Africa? I think what we need is not so much world empire, I think we need closer cooperation, closer alliances."

- Max Brooks

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"People say, "get us out of the UN, we don't need the UN", we invented the UN. This is us, we are the ones who founded the idea of nations working together, and I think that's something we need to do. And it's, it's messy, and it's really complicated, and there's going to be a lot of countries out there that expect us to clean up there mess, or just want to see us fall on (our) face. And they love that, which is what I think president Obama said brilliantly at the UN, when he basically said, "that ok". If I'm paraphrasing, I don't think he's ever said "ok" in his life, he's probably said "well". But basically he said, "look, for the last eight years you've been on our case about going it alone, you know, we're imperialists, we're hegemonic, we're going it alone, we're going it alone... Ok, we're not going it alone anymore, we're going to listen to you, but you better ante up and kick in. Because, you don't have the right to have an opinion, if you can't back it up. It's put up or shut up time". And I was so happy when he said that, and the way he handled the Latin (American) countries, when he was dealing with the crisis in Central America, the coups in Honduras. And he said, "the very same countries who accuse us of doing nothing, are also the same ones who accuse us of being imperialistic. You can't have it both ways.""

- Max Brooks

• 0 likes• Humorists from the United States• Actors from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Primetime Emmy Award winners•
"Do you know how many times, when I was a kid, going to Europe, having a Frenchman try to get on my case about Vietnam. And that wasn't the problem, do you know what it was like to have other kids, other American students go, "yeah, it's pretty bad, in Vietnam, we should, yeah". And I'd be like, 'but, mhmm, French Indochina.' , and they'd be like, "Oh is that near Vietnam" (groans). We don't educate our young people, and then we send them out into the world, as ambassadors as lameness. So no, no world empire, I don't want to be responsible for the plumbing in Rwanda, but we do need to become as much of a student of them as they are of us. Because, here's the thing. Well, the problem with the global village, remember in the early 90's, with the term now, global village, well the problem with the global village is that a lot of people are waking up realizing that they are in the global villages ghetto. And now with media, we are broadcasting these images of our wealth, and our power, our society, and the people in the global village are looking up on the hill seeing that mansion, but we're not looking down into the slum, and we need to do that. There's just so many times you can drive slowly through the ghetto in a rich convertible before you get carjacked. So this is what I mean, we need to engage..."

- Max Brooks

• 0 likes• Humorists from the United States• Actors from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Primetime Emmy Award winners•
"If there's four Vietcong in a village with knives and punji sticks, we'll bring in a B-52. And I think, sometimes we need to learn to fight smarter instead of to fight richer. And this is what I mean, you know, education, "oh, education's expensive;" no it's not, books are cheap, (the) internet's cheap, we can fight smarter, we can learn. So, that's where resource-to-kill-ratio comes from."

- Max Brooks

• 0 likes• Humorists from the United States• Actors from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Primetime Emmy Award winners•
"…I realized that what I had been watching was a fairly remarkable hybrid storytelling form: part live theatrical event, part polished television production, part sports spectacular, part collaborative improvised dance — and so much more. It’s a art form that synthesizes tons of other art forms into what appears to be simple, mindless entertainment, and it’s fascinating…"

- Kristoffer Diaz

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"If you’re a playwright who doesn’t want to do people-on-a-couch plays, there are not a lot of avenues…You can go and do television, or you can stay and fight with organizations that aren’t really equipped to support work by people of color or experiment with form."

- Kristoffer Diaz

• 0 likes• Hispanic Americans• Playwrights from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Educators from the United States•
"Television has lapped theater in a lot of storytelling techniques — realism, depth of character, complicated storytelling…What we have that’s different in the theater is the audience in the space with us. And I’m not interested in ignoring the space between us."

- Kristoffer Diaz

• 0 likes• Hispanic Americans• Playwrights from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Educators from the United States•
"I had Chavo Guerrero in mind a lot when I was writing this play…Chavo’s job was to make guys look better than they were, which meant he lost a lot. And he was so skilled at it that there weren’t a lot of guys who could play that same fall-guy role for him so that he could be the champion."

- Kristoffer Diaz

• 0 likes• Hispanic Americans• Playwrights from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Educators from the United States•
"One would think that making a film is an ; you're building this—it's not, it's . The best metaphor I know of is we make in [] and it takes forty gallons of sap to make one gallon of maple syrup. And that's what the process is."

- Ken Burns

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"I think this is the greatest threat to our republic ever. Not the Depression, not World War II, not the Civil War. This is it … This moment of all these intersecting viruses, of novel coronaviruses and of racial injustice — [a] 402-year-old-virus. And it’s an age-old human virus of lying and misinformation and paranoia and conspiracy. This is the pill that will kill us unless we do something."

- Ken Burns

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"Being an American means reckoning with a history fraught with violence and injustice. Ignoring that reality in favor of mythology is not only wrong but also dangerous. The dark chapters of American history have just as much to teach us, if not more, than the glorious ones, and often the two are intertwined."

- Ken Burns

• 0 likes• Documentarians from the United States• Historians from the United States• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City•
"I tried to have a child. Along the way, my body broke. My relationship did, too. In the process—because of it?"

- Lena Dunham

• 0 likes• Actresses from New York City• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Memoirists from the United States•
"Three pieces of candy if I could kiss her on the lips for five seconds."

- Lena Dunham

• 0 likes• Actresses from New York City• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Memoirists from the United States•
"Whatever she wanted to watch on TV if she would just "relax on me.""

- Lena Dunham

• 0 likes• Actresses from New York City• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Memoirists from the United States•
"Basically, anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl I was trying."

- Lena Dunham

• 0 likes• Actresses from New York City• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Memoirists from the United States•
"Her stickly, muscly little body thrashes beside me every night .. even as I slipped my hand into my underwear .. I always pretended to hate it."

- Lena Dunham

• 0 likes• Actresses from New York City• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Memoirists from the United States•
"Grace was sitting up, babbling and smiling, and I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina. She didn't resist"

- Lena Dunham

• 0 likes• Actresses from New York City• Film directors from New York City• Film producers from the United States• Screenwriters from New York City• Memoirists from the United States•
"“And what is love, in the end?" Alabaster said. "Except the irrational desire to put evolutionary competitiveness aside in order to ease someone else's journey through life?”"

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"“The way to turn an ex-lover into a friend is to never stop loving them, to know that when one phase of a relationship ends it can transform into something else. It is to acknowledge that love is both a constant and a variable at the same time.”"

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"privacy gives you creative freedom."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"I like to believe, as a writer, that anybody who isn't a reader yet has just not found the right book."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"I myself am mixed race — my mother is Korean and my father is an American Jew — so I've always felt other. But I think what's a little bit amazing about books, again, is the way in which they can sort of transcend that to an extent. And I also wanted the world as I see it — and the world as I see it is a world that is increasingly [filled] with people [of] different ethnicities."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"I see gaming as having the possibility to be a profoundly empathetic experience. I think the idea of the gamer, like the capital-G Gamer, this kind of misogynist dude shouting insults at women, is antiquated and not true. If you look at it, there are so many people that have played games their entire lives, like myself, that don’t necessarily identify themselves as gamers in that sense...the idea that, again, the person who is a gamer is somebody who is less empathetic, less romantic, or less trying to seek human connection is sort of old fashioned or possibly just ignorant."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"Generally, the best art comes from people that are a bit alienated from the system. I think it’s that friction that actually leads to making good books or good games, and not just being like, I’m a company man, or something for that system."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"I believe in the possibility for real human connections in virtual spaces. I also believe that the virtual version of yourself might very well be the best and truest version of yourself...We don’t have to necessarily be the worst versions of ourselves behind the mask of an avatar, though it often seems as if we are. People think we have it all figured out in certain ways, but in fact we’re just babies and toddlers when it comes to all these issues. We haven’t figured out exactly the best way to be good citizens, good humans online yet, and that’s OK. Because all these things are really young."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"I think the reason I liked gaming so much as a subject was because it has all the subjects in it—it’s a grand subject."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"We all live at that intersection of art and technology. That’s where games live, in a really easy way to see."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"Sometimes books don't find us until the right time."

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"You know everything you need to know about a person from the answer to the question, What is your favorite book?"

- Gabrielle Zevin

• 0 likes• Novelists from New York City• Screenwriters from New York City• Women authors from the United States• Harvard University alumni• Women born in the 1970s•
"We aren’t the things we collect, acquire, read. We are, for as long as we are here, only love. The things we loved. The people we loved. And these, I think these really do live on"

- Gabrielle Zevin

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"The Mafia liked the book. They come out looking good. Of course, it's a romantic novel and the Mafia is romanticized."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"I thought of it as a man's book. I have no idea why women like it, too. The book is an ironic commentary on romantic love. The whole concept of romantic love for women is very phony. They really don't want to be considered delicate vessels any more."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"I think of Wall Street guys as the crookedest in the world... They're [judges] the most corrupt part of the system... [The Catholic Church is] the worst influence on all civilization — they're against everything."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"I'm fascinated by the movies simply because it is an enormous machine for making money and no matter how badly they run it, it still makes money. It's the perfect industry to put your nephew in and your idiot cousin, because they'll be geniuses."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"The horse's head in the producer's bed was totally my imagination. I made it up based on Sicilian folklore. In the old days, they would kill a man's favorite animal and hang it up as a warning."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"There is brutality in abundance, but there is also a sickening justification and glorification of a detestable regime. Everything is brutal. Sex is abundant; it is not love, just animality, except in a few instances."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"This is a big, turbulent, highly entertaining novel with ingredients that should assure it a place on the bestseller lists: ample sex, a veritable orgy of bloodshed in many exotic forms, and several characters titillatingly reminiscent of real-life public figures."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"I try to read The Godfather by Mario Puzo every year. It's such a terrific book. I feel it really says something about America."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"If anyone wants to know about the power of the Mafia—its ruthlessness, its immunity to prosecution—read The Godfather; Mario Puzo's brawling, irresistible tale brings the reality home more vividly and realistically than the drier stuff of fact ever can. The Godfather is loaded with the kind of sexual scenes, plots and counter-plots, murder and gore that seem to be requirements for a novel today. All of this might well have made it a work of cheap sensationalism, but The Godfather is deeply imbedded in reality, and this sense of reality pervades the torrent of unending action."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"Even though I am hurt that Mario Puzo had to write a novel as potentially defaming to Italian Americans as The Godfather, I admit that every page of it touches me in a way that Tom Sawyer could never do. While I can find much to identify with in Mark Twain's writings, Puzo's characters are so real to me that I am almost embarrassed to read about them."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"[The Godfather is] bound to be hugely successful, and not simply because the Mafia is in the news. Mr. Puzo's novel is a voyeur's dream, a skillful fantasy of violent personal power without consequences. The victims of the Corleone 'family' are hoods, or corrupt cops—nobody you or I would actually want to know. Just business, as Don Vito would say, not personal. You never glimpse regular people in the book, let alone meet them, so there is no opportunity to sympathize with anyone but the old patriarch, as he makes the world safe for his beloved 'family'."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"Here is all the classic material of Mafia mythology, which is exactly how Puzo treats his story. As an author he is the epitome of omniscience, narrating his tale like an old man telling stories of the "good old days" around a Sicilian hearth, in clear, simple prose... Right up to the end, it seems, Puzo never lost his sneaking desire to believe in a pastoral paradise governed by harsh but fair feudal robber barons – as realistic a myth as any."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"Mario Puzo is not the best novelist in the world, nor the most sensitive, nor certainly the most realistic. But he is without doubt one of the most ambitious. In "The Godfather," Puzo sets himself two excruciatingly difficult tasks: to humanize the Mafia and to make a fortune. He succeeded on both counts. Somehow, Puzo has managed to make his fictional Mafia overlord into a kindly, somewhat puritanical old gentleman with moral scruples about the drug business — and to make himself (Puzo) a cool three-quarters of a million dollars in the process... It was all done with mirrors — and some of the most readable writing since the well-plotted novel went out of style."

- Mario Puzo

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"Puzo performs a neat trick; he makes Don Vito a sympathetic, rather appealing character... The deep strength of the narrative comes from...a conviction that street justice is more equal and more honest than the justice preached in the courts."

- Mario Puzo

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"[Puzo] was clearly a writer of unusual talent and one looked forward to what he might come up with next... The Godfather is a brutal disappointment. It is quite simply, a package for bestsellerdom: huge, vulgar and sensational, it has all the formula requirements."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"Never mind that they ought to know better by now. They're reviewing the money again and not the book. This time it's...a knowing, muscular, many charactered, and—what's worse—absolutely readable New York folk-tale about the Mafia. Granted, The Godfather does ask for it in a way, with almost $500,000 in advance from hardcover, paperback and movie rights; consider what book reviews usually pay and you'll see why a book like this so easily brings out the worst sort of moral indignation in so many critics... He's got to be just another literary crapshooter who's made the Big Killing overnight. The trouble with all that, of course, is that "overnight" happened to be 20 years. During that time, Puzo wrote three books in which he painstakingly and shrewdly set his wit to mastering about as much as a man needs to know about the craft of writing fiction. With his second novel, The Fortunate Pilgrim, he had, in fact, nailed down a solid name for himself as a good but little known (and therefore uncorrupted, right?) chronicler of Italian-American life. Now Puzo is making money from his writing. So naturally he's only writing in order to make money. You don't have to be a Sicilian to enjoy a vendetta."

- Mario Puzo

• 0 likes• Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award winners• Novelists from New York (state)• Screenwriters from New York City•
"Nothing I have experienced prepared me for the very public and relentless implosion of my father’s life,"