343 quotes found
"Dude, I service society by rocking. I’m out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rocking ain’t no walk in the supermarket, lady."
"[watching the clock, waiting for the end of the day] Yes! We did it! Gimme some of that, yeah, that's it. I will see you cats on the flip-flop later!"
"Okay, Miss Dumbum ain't your teacher today, I am. And I have a headache, and the runs."
"We will continue our lecture on the Man when we return. Have a good music class."
"(variation of George Bernard Shaw quote and earlier quoted verbatim in Annie Hall) Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym."
"The School of Rock. And we shall teach rock ‘n’ roll to the world."
"Now you played hard in here, people, and I am proud of every last stinking one of you. So let's just give this everything we got. We may fall on our faces, but if we do, we will fall with dignity! With a guitar in our hands, and rock in our hearts! And in the words of AC/DC: "We roll tonight to the guitar bite, and for those about to rock, I salute you.""
"I heard you in music class. You guys can really play. [angrily] Why didn't anyone tell me?!"
"[during end credits; to Zack, with his face contorted, after he performs a "face-melter" on his guitar] Dude, is my face okay? I think you melted it off! [laughs]"
"Jack Black as Dewey Finn"
"Joan Cusack as Rosalie "Roz" Mullins"
"Mike White as Ned Schneebly"
"Sarah Silverman as Patty Di Marco"
"Miranda Cosgrove as Summer Hathaway"
"Joey Gaydos Jr. as Zack Mooneyham"
"Kevin Clark as Freddy Jones"
"Rebecca Brown as Katie"
"Robert Tsai as Lawrence"
"Maryam Hassan as Tomika"
"Caitlin Hale as Marta"
"Aleisha Allen as Alicia"
"Brian Falduto as Billy"
"Zachary Infate as Gordon"
"James Hosey as Marco"
"Angelo Massagli as Frankie"
"Cole Hawkins as Leonard"
"Jordan-Claire Green as Michelle"
"Veronica Afflerbach as Eleni"
"Adam Pascal as Theo"
"Lucas Babin as Spider"
"Lucas Papaelias as Neil"
"Heavy metal... Take notes."
"Mr. Black. Accept no substitute. Come on feel the noize."
"His methods are unusual. His approach is unique. But his curriculum rocks."
"He just landed the gig of his life: 5th grade."
"Old school rock meets private school prep."
"We shall teach Rock and Roll to the world!"
"We don't need no education."
"True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show, ready to double-team your girlfriend..."
"At this point, you might be asking yourself, "Why am I holding this 30-pound cinder block in my hands?" You might also ask yourself, "Why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it?" And finally, "Why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?""
"All I want to do is get some fucking sleep."
"This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college."
"Ah Denver, The sunshine state... Denver?! Gorgeous!"
"[Leaving a message] I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Dammit. [Calls back] This is Frank Ricard..."
"You know I was thinking we could go back home...have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD...no? Weren't thinking that? Okay."
"So what do you guys like better? Nurse or cheerleader? Oh, hi Nicole. Have fun at the wedding?"
"Thanks, she's OK"
"That's how you do it. That's how you debate."
"All we are is dust in the wind..."
"[Voiceover.] Dear Mitch, if you're holding this letter you already know. The house has been boarded up. The doors. The windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank"
"Blue's over there. But he's wasted."
"[Trying to talk over party noise.] Actually pretty nice little Saturday. We're going to Home Depot. Yeah buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath and Beyond... I don't know! I don't know if we'll have enough time!"
"[Funnels a beer.] Fill it up again! Fill it up again! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!"
"Don't worry. The pledges will clean it up."
"No it's cool man, bring your green hat! We're going streaking!"
"[Sitting naked in the car.] Hey honey! Do you think KFC is still open?"
"In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds and pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski."
"[Shot in neck with tranquilizer dart, voice morphs into slow motion.] You're crazy, man. I like you, but you're crazy."
"I'm back! [Kicks a woman's shopping cart.] You know it!"
"Blue, do you understand I dont want you to die here tonight?"
"YOU'RE MA BOY BLUE!...You're Ma Boy!"
"I'm so cold...I think I see Blue! He looks glorious."
"SNOOP!! SNOOP-A-LOOP!!! [upon seeing rapper Snoop Dogg perform at the fraternity party]"
"No, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool...bring-bring your green hat, let's go! [at the same party, to one of Snoop's entourage wearing a green hat]"
"Were GOIN STREAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Because this is a very big idea my friends. We're talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood where community status and more importantly age have no bearing whatsoever."
"What we need to do is throw a big kick off, kick ass party."
"Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass."
"I have a wife and kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?"
"Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you man; you have one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frankie. Way to think it through."
"Well, why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife."
"[to Frank's father in law] It takes a man to give away an angel. Your sweetheart. [wink]"
"I know a really good sand guy."
"Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about, and I can barely read. I can't. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. You think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage."
"I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg."
"Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years."
"Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he's crushing ass every Thursday night at our mixers."
"You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hang out with nineteen year old girls everyday?"
"He's playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed."
"Guys this is a very special occasion. The Godfather himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps twenty feet away."
"Don't say sorry to me. You let down Frank. You let down me. Most importantly you let down Max. And right about now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why I take time out of my schedule to help you get over... [to Max] Max can you earmuff it for me? [to Mitch] That whore you dated."
"That party that we had last night has given us a lot of street cred."
"What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled. Now he's the Godfather."
"Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die."
"Good luck to everybody. Nice to know you all and I'll see you around campus."
"Mitch is a lawyer, buddy. He'll find a way out for us."
"You're the lady, Marissa! High five."
"No. That's a piece of crap. What? We stopped selling that six months ago. Lotta Complaints, nice gesture though, I think."
"[While performing the iron cross and smoking a cigarette] Still holding! STILL HOLDING!"
"Columbus wasn’t exactly looking for America, but that seemed to work out for everyone."
"He left me with a little something called herpes. Which I then gave to the dog. But that's neither here nor there."
"When I get back I'm going to show you something I like to call crouching tiger, hidden penis. [takes a drink of the water] You know I really liked that movie, 'cause of all the flying and the magic."
"Oh, that's funny to you? You won't be laughing when someone prematurely pops in your face. It stings. And that is now why I have a lazy eye."
"You can use a little teeth but we don't want to be a biter. Now ladies these carrots are not gonna ejaculate themselves. Get into it!"
"Ok ladies, the secret to a good BJ is focus. I don't care if we're talking about your husband of ten years or some hot sailor you met at TGI Fridays, who didn't call me back.."
"What are you doing? You're like Romulus sucking on the tit of the Motherwolf. If you know your Greek mythology."
"Who's hungry? Who's hungry?"
"Waiter: Love, it's a motherfucker, huh?"
"Waiter: And don't worry. For the Godfather, it's always on the house."
"Waiter: You are beautiful. But no offense, he, he is the king. You are having coffee and pie with a living legend."
"Wedding Singer: [singing] Fuckin' every now and then I fall apart and I need you now tonight. I fuckin' need you more than ever."
"Mark: [to little girl] This is yesterday's paper. When are you going to use your goddamn brains for once in your life? Hello. What are you retarded?"
"Mark: [after being caught with another woman] What are you gonna do? Tell on me? You know you can't buddy. It's guy code. That's something chicks do. You're not a chick are you? Ok. Good talk. I'll see you out there."
"Gordon Pritchard: Half these guys don't even go here and that one guy is like ninety."
"Booker: We've been waiting all semester for you to ask us."
"Dean Pritchard: I'm sorry is that funny? Are you a standup comic, is that what you do now? This is me leaving. This is me leaving."
"All the fun of college, none of the education."
"Why do men act like boys? Because they can."
"Luke Wilson - Mitch Martin"
"Will Ferrell - Frank 'The Tank' Ricard"
"Vince Vaughn - Bernard 'Beanie' Campbell"
"Jeremy Piven - Dean Gordon 'Cheese' Pritchard"
"Ellen Pompeo - Nicole"
"Juliette Lewis - Heidi"
"Leah Remini - Lara Campbell"
"Perrey Reeves - Marissa Jones"
"Craig Kilborn - Mark"
"Elisha Cuthbert - Darcie"
"Seann William Scott - Peppers"
"Matt Walsh - Walsh"
"Artie Lange - Booker"
"Patrick Cranshaw - Joseph 'Blue' Palasky"
"Jerod Mixon - Weensie"
"Rick Gonzalez - Spanish"
"Bryan Callen - Avi, the Waiter"
"Andy Dick - Garry, the Oral Sex Instructor"
"Boy, a guy goes to jail for a couple of days and the whole town goes to hell!"
"Toby: [to Sully] Go ahead, steal our snowblower. You're the slowest goddamn thief that I ever saw."
"Judge Flatt: Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons: you arm one, you've got to arm them all, otherwise it wouldn't be good sport."
"Miss Beryl: Mr. Sullivan, you're wearing a necktie. Are you in trouble with the law again?"
"Wirf: Damn, Sully, when your luck turns... it turns."
"Paul Newman - Donald 'Sully' Sullivan"
"Jessica Tandy - Beryl Peoples"
"Bruce Willis - Carl Roebuck"
"Melanie Griffith - Toby Roebuck"
"Dylan Walsh - Peter Sullivan"
"Pruitt Taylor Vince - Rub Squeers"
"Gene Saks - Wirf Wirfley"
"Josef Sommer - Clive Peoples Jr."
"Philip Seymour Hoffman - Officer Raymer"
"Philip Bosco - Judge Flatt"
"In a town where nothing ever happens... everything is about to happen to Sully."
"Worn to perfection"
"All right. Now look, Focker, I'm a patient man. That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown."
"First comes love. Then comes the interrogation."
"No pressure."
"He finally met the girl of his dreams. Too bad her dad's a nightmare."
"Jack's an ex-CIA man. Greg's a nurse."
"Ben Stiller - Gaylord "Greg" Focker"
"Robert De Niro - Jack Tiberius Byrnes"
"Owen Wilson - Kevin Rawley"
"Blythe Danner - Dina Byrnes"
"Teri Polo - Pamela "Pam" Byrnes"
"James Rebhorn - Dr. Larry Banks"
"Jon Abrahams - Denny Byrnes"
"Nicole DeHuff - Deborah Byrnes"
"Thomas McCarthy - Dr. Bob Banks"
"Phyllis George - Linda Banks"
"[in voiceover] Listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere. In the wind, in the air, in the light. It's all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do is listen."
"An incredible journey moving at the speed of sound"
"Freddie Highmore - Evan Taylor / August Rush"
"Keri Russell - Lyla Novacek, Evan’s adoptive mother"
"Jonathan Rhys Meyers - Louis Connelly, Evan’s adoptive father"
"Terrence Howard - Counselor Richard Jeffries"
"Robin Williams - Maxwell "Wizard" Wallace"
"William Sadler - Thomas Novacek, Evan’s adoptive grandfather"
"Marian Seldes - The Dean"
"Mykelti Williamson - Reverend James"
"Leon G. Thomas III - Arthur"
"Jamia Simone Nash - Hope"
"Alex O'Loughlin - Marshall Connelly, Evan’s adoptive uncle"
"Aaron Staton - Nick"
"Ronald Guttman - The Professor"
"Bonnie McKee - Lizzy"
"Timothy Mitchum - Joey"
"Becki Newton - Jennifer"
"Lyla (wife)"
"Evan (adoptive son)"
"Why should the Falls drag me down here at 5 o'clock in the morning? To show me how big they are and how small I am? To remind me they can get along without any help? All right, so they've proved it. But why not? They've had ten thousand years to get independent. What's so wonderful about that? I suppose I could too, only it might take a little more time."
"Too bad, they can't play it for you now, Rose."
"I met her in a beer hall. She was the most popular waitress they ever had."
"Marilyn Monroe and "Niagara" a raging torrent of emotion that even nature can't control!"
"A raging torrent of emotion that even nature can't control!"
"Marilyn Monroe and Niagara the high water mark in suspense!"
"Marilyn Monroe - Rose Loomis"
"Joseph Cotten - George Loomis"
"Jean Peters - Polly Cutler"
"Max Showalter - Ray Cutler"
"Denis O'Dea - Inspector Starkey"
"Richard Allan - Patrick"
"Don Wilson - Mr. Kettering"
"Lurene Tuttle - Mrs. Kettering"
"Russell Collins - Mr. Qua"
"Will Wright - Boatman"
"She's the unsnoodiest person I've ever known."
"She's not plump. She's not unplump either. Well - she's perfect."
"I'm sure he means every other word he says!"
"Mrs. Odell: I wish I'd been born a princess. Instead I was born tired."
"Countess Zoe: Think of what history would say: Her Majesty Veronica the First, received the news that she had become Queen, while she was carousing in a Chop Suey joint with a bellboy."
"Hedy Lamarr - Princess Veronica"
"Robert Walker - Jimmy Dobson"
"June Allyson - Leslie Odell"
"Carl Esmond - Baron Zoltan Faludi"
"Agnes Moorehead - Countess Zoe"
"Rags Ragland - Albert Weever"
"Ludwig Stössel - Mr. Puft"
"George Cleveland - Dr. Elfson"
"Warner Anderson - Paul MacMillan"
"Konstantin Shayne - Yanos Van Lankovitz"
"Tom Trout - Hack"
"Ben Lessy - Himself"
"Patty Moore - Fae"
"Edward Gargan - 1st Cop"
"[sees a couple on their phone in a bedroom] Does anyone even fuck anymore?"
"[after a car honks at her while she roller-blades on the road] YOU THINK I CHOSE THIS?!"
"[protesting skinny dipping in the ocean at night] Isn't this how Jaws started?"
"Pretty. Awkward."
"Not a love story."
"Jennifer Lawrence - Maddie Barker"
"Andrew Barth Feldman - Percy Becker"
"Matthew Broderick - Laird Becker"
"Laura Benanti - Allison Becker"
"Natalie Morales - Sara"
"Scott MacArthur - Jim"
"Ebon Moss-Bachrach - Gary"
"Hasan Minhaj - Doug Khan"
"Kyle Mooney - Jody"
"Zahn McClarnon - Gabe Sawyer"
"[gets out of his car] Oh no. Not...Haunted Halloween. [sees a skeleton chasing people] Oh, my writing was so cliché back then. [sees a red balloon] I knew it! I knew I came up with that first! [sees the Tesla tower, refers to Slappy] That clever little dummy's writing his own ending. Not in my book he's not."
"My first book? [holds the book] You realize I wrote this when I was around your age. More of an amateur work, really, but I'm sure you'll all agree it shows an undeniable promise of a brilliant young writer."
"[about saving the world with his typewriter] It's been done before. Once before. Maybe twice. Maybe more."
"The transmutation process seems to have wiped their memories clean. All those who were affected won't remember a thing."
"Kids falling from the sky. My work here is done."
"All the horrors of the world can't compare to the terrors of a blank page."
"[finishes writing] Finally, a new book."
"[from trailer] Did you miss me?"
"[as he punches the windshield] I just want to be part of the family!"
"[repeated line] Karru marri odonna loma molonu karrano."
"I had a papa once. He let me down. But a mother's love is forever."
"I'm going to do what Stine couldn't: finish this book once and for all! [laughs evilly]"
"Spoiler alert: the manuscript gets destroyed in that tower, and my Halloween family lasts forever!"
"[after the credits] Slappy Halloween. [laughs evilly]"
"I will never question picking up junk again."
"I'm the one who found the book and brought Slappy to life, and I even told Slappy about Tesla."
""Junk" is our middle name!"
"[about Kathy] I've never seen your mom that mad."
"Sergeant, your orders are to guard this porch."
"So you're telling me you've discovered a walking talking dummy and you didn't tell me?"
"It's just you and me now, Slappy!"
"Spoiler alert: I save the town and put you back where you belong. [Slappy stops her opening the book]"
"[after being possessed by a mask] Serving families is what I do."
"I used to manage a hardware store. [Slappy: Walter, focus, please] Yes."
"Kathy: [after being possessed by Slappy] There's my sweet little babies. I just love a family reunion."
"Mr. Chu: We are living a Goosebumps story right now?"
"Tommy: Someone beam me out of this classroom."
"Gummy Bear: [as he and his brethren gets sucked in the book, he hangs on for dear life] You'll never take me alive! [Sam flicks him]"
"Headless Horseman: [repeated line] Hyah!"
"Jeremy Ray Taylor as Sonny Quinn"
"Madison Iseman as Sarah Quinn"
"Caleel Harris as Sam Carter"
"Wendi McLendon-Covey as Kathy Quinn"
"Chris Parnell as Walter"
"Ken Jeong as Mr. Chu"
"Jack Black as R. L. Stine"
"Mick Wingert as the voice of Slappy the Dummy from Night of the Living Dummy"
"Peyton Wich as Tommy Madigan, a bully who picks on Sonny and Sam"
"Kendrick Cross as Mr. Carter, Sam's father"
"Shari Headley as Mrs. Carter, Sam's mother"
"Courtney Lauren Cummings as Jess, a girl whom with Tyler cheats on Sarah"
"Jessi Goei as Maya, Jess' friend"
"Katharine C. Lumpkin as a monster bride"
"Kent Wagner as an undead pirate"
"Marsha Shackelford as a female cyborg"
"Barry W. Jerald Jr. as a gray alien"
"Sherri Millican as a banshee"
"Scott Millican as a red-haired ghoul"
"Joseph N. Hardin as a vampire"
"Alex T. Hill as a scarecrow"
"Benjamin Bladon as a royal mummy"
"I can't wait to do a cartwheel in the sand."
"I really think that path from before might have been the right path"
"No kittens were harmed during the making of this film. They enjoyed their time with us."
"Bridey Elliott as Harper"
"Clare McNulty as Allie"
"Neil Casey as Ebb"
"Alysia Reiner as Cobble Hill Mom"
"Reggie Watts as himself"
"Peter Vack as Benji"
"Griffin Newman as Sam"
"A comedy for anyone who wanted Girls to be meaner"
"Hashtagwhitegirlproblems"
"[As a child dressed as Pablo Picasso] I am a genius. I am the greatest artist of the twentieth century. I pretty much invented modern art, and I do weird abstract paintings even though I could paint totally realistic if I wanted to. Also, even though I am super short and bald, I am able to have sex with any beautiful woman I want just because I'm so great."
"[In beatnik girl's apartment with her crying] How about pizza? Do you wanna go get pizza? [She screams at him, then starts laughing then resumes crying]"
"I've gotta cream soma kinda love story into this thing man. Skanks, make up fifty per cent of the audience"
"Man, if she were my girlfriend, I'd be pounding that night and day."
"Now, everyone don't be so hard on Jerome. He is attempting to achieve the impossible. He is trying to sing in his own voice using someone else's vocal cords."
"Now I don't have any particular wisdom to impart to you people, except to say this, these four words - don't have unrealistic expectations. If you want to make money, better drop out right now, go to banking school, or website school - anywhere but art school. And remember, only 1 out of 100 of you will ever make a living as an artist."
"The history of art is largely about the implementation of masculinity.That is such bullshit.Part of some Darwinian imperative. Most artists become artists because they have no way to attract a mate. I hardly think I'm the first to point out that the vast preponderance of artists are, shall we say physiologically deficient in some way."
"Jerome, are you exceptionally skilled as a cocksucker? It wasn't a rhetorical question. Are you a great artist when it comes to fellatio?"
"[Holding up clay pipe] This is ready for the kiln."
"[Outside with Jerome in the campus quad and Bardo observes a girl across from them] The only trouble with that is: all those beatnik chicks are totally insane. Look. What you really want is a nice, innocent, suburban girl. Some freshman chick who hasn't been corrupted yet."
"I know you're a genius, but I'm a genius too."
"Shut up. Look. There's really only one question any of you want to ask: you want to know what it would take to turn you into me. Well, listen closely, 'cause I'm gonna give you the answer. In order to be a great artist, you simply have to *be* a great artist. There's nothing to learn. So... you're all wasting your time. Go home."
"Nympho: [To Jerome] I just want you to know I definitely don't have AIDS. I mean, I've been tested like 40 times so I know for a fact. [Baby starts crying] Keep the fucking kid quiet, you motherfucking asshole! [To Jerome] It's just my old man."
"Jerome's date girl: [Playing with stuffed animals with Jerome in her apartment] Stay out of that cave, Koala Bear. There's snakes and bats. Don't be silly, Pepper. I'm not afraid of a little snake."
"Max Minghella as Jerome"
"Sophia Myles as Audrey"
"John Malkovich as Professor Sandiford"
"Jim Broadbent as Jimmy"
"Matt Keeslar as Jonah"
"Ethan Suplee as Vince"
"Joel David Moore as Bardo"
"Nick Swardson as Matthew"
"Anjelica Huston as Art History Teacher"
"Adam Scott as Marvin Bushmiller"
"Jack Ong as Professor Okamura"
"Scoot McNairy as Army-Jacket"
"Jeremy Guskin as Eno"
"Monika Ramnath as Flower"
"Isaac Laskin as Kiss-Ass"
"Jeanette Brox as Shilo"
"Finneus Egan as Vegan"
"Shelly Cole as Filthy-Haired Girl"
"Jean St. James as Mom"
"Cristen Coppen as Preppy Girl"
"Michael Shamus Wiles as Donald Baumgarten"
"Kate Moennig as Candace (as Katherine Moennig)"
"Ezra Buzzington as Leslie"
"Lauren Lee Smith as Beat Girl"
"Travis Walck as Richard Natwick"
"Paul Collins as Professor David Zipkin"
"Marshall Bell as Lonny"
"Chris McKenna as Mikey (as Chris L. McKenna)"
"Marc Vann as Kevin"
"Roxanne Day as Jonah's Wife - Marie"
"Roxanne Hart as Mom Platz"
"Ozman Sirgood as Dad Platz (as Osman Soykut)"
"Katija Pevec as Cynthia Platz"
"Brian Turk as Cliffy"
"Edith Jefferson as Doddering Aunt"
"Michael Lerner as Art Dealer"
"Jeff LeBeau as Lawyer"
"Marie L. Bain as Helena Sandiford"