250 quotes found
"Well, like my momma used to say, "You can put your boots in the oven, but that won't make 'em biscuits.""
"Well, well, well, look what the cat drugged in. (Chuckles)"
"Finally, some peace and quiet. Y'all go ahead. Bye-bye, now. I'll just stay here and watch the palace for shizzle. Woof. [snores]"
"Well, maybe to you. It's like this: Humans race, horses race. There was even a Chicken Run, but there's never been a goat race. Ever, ever, ever. Get the picture, Franny?"
"[to Franny] And you, Miss Softy, you just let him go, didn't you? [turns to Goose] Goose, time to earn your keep."
"To me, you're just a horse with stripes who needs an attitude adjustment."
"You know what I used to tell all my racers? "Don't look back, leave it all on the track.""
"Come on, Sandy."
"[secretly watching Stripes and Trenton's Pride at the Blue Moon Races shortly before they race] You got guts, kid."
"Well, subdivide me and Kentucky fry me!"
"This is Reggie Red Rooster with the farm report! In sports news, Goose the pelican dropped the motorcycle in the first round, then for good measure, taught the truck a lesson as well."
"[About Goose] Gentlemen, don't let the feathers fool ya, this dude's dangerous. He's a killin' machine disguised as an idiot."
"Doesn't anybody have a clock?!"
"If you build it, they will come."
"You always have something in your teeth, Ruffshodd."
"Well, unfortunately, I don't race nobodies."
"Come on, Stripey, try and keep up. See you, loser."
"Hey, Stripey! Did you really think that you could beat a trained professional?"
"Grow up, dad!"
"[to Stripes] My father was wrong about you. You're a great racer."
"[Flying over the Walsh farm] Would ya get a load 'a this dump?! Even old McDonald wouldn't want this farm."
"Hey, moron! Up here!"
"[As he is attacking the motorcycle] Okasaka! Slap-a-face-a! Break-a-bones-a! Ha, he, ha, he, he, he, ha, he, ha, ha, ha, he!"
"Let me tell you something. I've made a few clams on the [w:Ponies ponies]. This guy's all hair and no brains."
"Let me guess: His parole officer's caught up with him. Don't let him take you alive, kid."
"Look, here's the whole spaghetti sauce. I'm a hit bird. And when Sammy the [w:Gull|Gull] needs a lesson taught, the Goose is the guy he calls. Only this last job, I had a little mishap. Instead of hitting Freddie the [w:Flamingo|Flamingo] like I was supposed to, I hit Sammy's capo, Johnny [w:Stork|Stork]anado. And now Sammy, Freddie, and Johnny, they're all after me."
"Hey, be careful, pony boy, or someday somebody's gonna wake up with your head in their bed."
"Watch it, stumpy. I'd cut you off at the knees, but it looks like somebody's beat me to it."
"Proof? You want proof, huh? You see, Rusty the rotating rooster up there? Huh? Huh? He's about to get Goosed."
"Okay, adjust for the wind. Nice level flight. Come on, Goose, use the Force."
"Oh, you're funny. But there's only room for one wise guy on this farm. And by the way, you should know that Goose is a name that strikes fear into anyone on the East Coast."
"All right, because you look a little slow, I'll skip the salad and get right to the risotto. Let's just say I'm having a little disagreement with my family. We disagree on whether or not they should whack me. Name's Goose."
"So, that's how we land in the big city. If there's no parking space, you make one. Any of you mugs got a problem with that?"
"Boy, will you get a load of this dump? Even old MacDonald wouldn't want this farm. But it's perfect. Miles from the Jersey shore, not an ocean in sight, not even a birdbath. No one will look for a classy guy like the Goose here. Oh, oh, watch where you're going. That's my knees!"
"Hey, are you a small horse or some sort of an ass? 'Cause you look like an ass to me."
"I love Mother Goose! I also love Nursery songs!"
"Stop calling me names!"
"How can they allow this to happen?"
"I want my mommy!"
"I want to ride on Mother Goose!"
"Oh, come on, man. That song's already ruined. You need some good tunes like this. [Imitates guitar and sings] Can't touch this./Music hits me so hard/Makes me say "Oh, my Lord./Thank you for giving me with a mind to rhyme and a do-da-dee...""
"Hey, we made it, man. Nice. I'm sure that beats flying."
"It's the filly. It always is. Hey! Hey, she's from Philly. I didn't know she was from Philly. Oh, man, I love those Philly cheese steaks. Or any kind of cheese, really. Or, actually, any kind of food from anywhere... especially candy and poop. What were we talking about?"
"Sir Trenton: Well, well, well. What have we here? [chuckles] 1987 VHS of Songs from Mother Goose."
"Sir Trenton: Leave me alone!"
"Ruffshodd: Sir Trenton is so stupid than Stripes."
"What is that dreadful child up to now?"
"[to Channing] This is a racetrack, dear, not the Serengeti."
"Now you give it all you got."
"[to Channing after Stripes won] Your mother would be so proud...and so am I."
"Don't be bully. Bully Sir Trenton."
"Cheer 'til you're horse!"
"Kiss my tail!"
"He's the wrong sort of horse with the right sort of friends."
"A tail for the whole family."
"His fans are real animals."
"Goose, the wise guy!"
"Reggie, he knows what’s worth he’s crowing about!"
"Tucker, small pony, big attitude!"
"Franny, the mother of all cheese heads"
"Lightning, He knows a winner when he smells one!"
"Stripes, a zebra who thinks he’s a racehorse!"
"Buzz and Scuzz, the fly by night crowd!"
"Bruce Greenwood - Nolan "The Chief" Walsh"
"Hayden Panettiere - Channing "Chan" Walsh, Nolan’s daughter"
"M. Emmet Walsh - Sheriff Woodzie"
"Wendie Malick - Clara Dalrymple"
"Gary Bullock - John Cooper"
"Frankie Muniz - Stripes the Zebra"
"Mandy Moore - Sandy the Arabian filly"
"Michael Clarke Duncan - Clydesdale"
"Jeff Foxworthy - Reggie the Rooster"
"Joshua Jackson - Trenton's Pride"
"Joe Pantoliano - Goose the Pelican"
"Michael Rosenbaum - Ruffshodd"
"Steve Harvey - Buzz the blue-eyed fly"
"David Spade - Scuzz the red-eyed fly"
"Snoop Dogg - Lightning the Bloodhound"
"Fred Dalton Thompson - Sir Trenton"
"Dustin Hoffman - Tucker the Shetland Pony"
"Whoopi Goldberg - Franny the Goat"
"Tom Amundsen"
"Mona Marshall - Sheeps"
"Dee Bradley Baker - Animals"
"Bob Bergen - Various Barnyard Animals"
"David Busch -"
"June Christopher"
"Robert Clotworthy - Horse 2"
"David Cowgill - Humans"
"Terri Douglas"
"Chris Edgerly - Horses, Various Reproters"
"Jennifer Crystal Foley"
"Eddie Frierson - Various Horses"
"Jackie Gonneau - Various Humans and Horses"
"Nicholas Guesg"
"Archie Hahn"
"Jess Harnell - Horse 1"
"Jason Harris - Various Horses"
"Bridgette Hoffman"
"Victoria Hoffman"
"Anne Lockhart - Human and Horse"
"Jessie Marion"
"Randall Montgomery - Horse"
"Bob Neill - Cheering Horse"
"Paul Pape - Angry Horses"
"Phil Proctor - Trenton’s Henchhorse #1"
"Al Rodrigo - Horse"
"Joshua Seth -"
"Steve Staley"
"Joshua Stern"
"Pepper Sweeney"
"Gail Thomas - Reporters"
"Claudette Wells - Various Reporter"
"I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember."
"Sadness is easier because it's surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free."
"Trust me. Everybody is less mysterious than they think they are."
"Most of the sex I've had in my life was not as personal as that kiss."
"Welcome to the annual meeting of people who annually meet, and we'll see ya'll next year."
"I'm going to miss your lips. And everything attached to them."
"I don't know a lot about everything, but I do know a lot about the part of everything that I know, which is people."
"To have never taken a solitary road trip across country? I mean everybody's got to take a road trip, at least once in their lives. Just you and some music."
"Some music needs air. Roll down your window."
"Men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room."
"I spend so much time thinking about all the answers to the problem ... that I forget what the problem actually was."
"I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened."
"And so we all became helpers, which I so can't help. I can't help helping."
"Life cannot be so cruel that we don't deserve to be together... to eat."
"I'm wearing these clothes. I mean... Have you ever had unlucky clothes? This dress that you like? Good things have not happened to me in this dress. But I saw it tonight and I said: "I'm gonna give you one more chance." And I refuse to be let down by this dress again."
"I'm completely cool with anything you want to say or not say."
"You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery. Enjoy it, embrace it, discard ...and proceed."
"As somebody once said, there's a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is simply the non-present of success. Any fool can accomplish failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of mythic proportions. A fiasco is a folktale told to others, that makes other people feel more... alive. Because it didn't happen to them."
"No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also... life."
"In that moment, I knew success, not greatness, was the only god the world served."
"Because we have a moment here, let me tell you that I have recently become a secret connoisseur of 'last looks'. You know the way people look at you when they believe it's for the last time? I've started collecting these looks. There's one right now."
"You know, there is nothing greater than deciding in your life that things maybe really are black and white! And this guy Ben, who clearly takes you for granted, who serially takes advantage of you, is bad! And what I'm saying is good! See what I mean? You shouldn't be the substitute for anybody. This guy should be right here, right now, doing this. [kisses Claire]"
"Hollie Baylor: We were complete opposites and it worked. And something happened between us that was not part of the plan... we were in love."
"Jessie Baylor: I teach my kids about the things that really matter. I will teach them about Abraham Lincoln and Ronnie Van Zandt, because they are equally important in my house."
"Orlando Bloom - Drew Baylor"
"Kirsten Dunst - Claire Colburn"
"Susan Sarandon - Hollie Baylor"
"Alec Baldwin - Phil DeVoss"
"Bruce McGill - Bill Banyon"
"Judy Greer - Heather Baylor"
"Jessica Biel - Ellen Kishmore"
"Paul Schneider - Jesse Baylor"
"Loudon Wainwright III - Uncle Dale"
"Gailard Sartain - Charles Dean"
"Jed Rees - Chuck Hasboro"
"Jim Fitzpatrick - Rusty"
"Paula Deen - Aunt Dora"
"Dan Biggers - Uncle Roy"
"Alice Marie Crowe - Aunt Lena"
"Tim Devitt - Mitch Baylor"
"Ted Manson - Sad Joe"
"Shane Lyons - Charlie Bill"
"Emily Rutherfurd - Cindy Hasboro"
"You'd better take a good look, because I'm getting two things: pissed off and curious."
"You pay me to go get guys like Wigand, to draw him out. To get him to trust us, to get him to go on television. I do. I deliver him. He sits. He talks. He violates his own confidentiality agreement. And he's only the key witness in the biggest public health reform issue, maybe the biggest, most-expensive corporate-malfeasance case in U.S. history. And Jeffrey Wigand, who's out on a limb, does he go on television and tell the truth? Yes. Is it newsworthy? Yes. Are we gonna air it? Of course not. Why? Because he's not telling the truth? No. Because he is telling the truth. That's why we're not going to air it. And the more truth he tells, the worse it gets!"
"What do I tell the next source when the next tough story comes along, huh? 'Hang in with us, you'll be ok maybe'? What got broken here doesn't go back together."
"I'm Lowell Bergmann, I'm from 60 Minutes. You know, you take the "60 Minutes" out of that sentence, nobody returns your phone call."
"I never left a source hang out to dry, ever! Abandoned! Not 'till right fucking now. When I came on this job I came with my word intact. I'm gonna leave with my word intact. Fuck the rules of the game!"
"Will you tell him that when I conduct an interview, I sit anywhere I damn please!"
"Do me a favor, will you - spare me, for God's sake, get in the real world, what do you think? I'm going to resign in protest? To force it on the air? The answer's "no." I don't plan to spend the end of my days wandering in the wilderness of National Public Radio. That decision I've already made."
""Mike"? Try "Mr. Wallace." We work in the same corporation, doesn't mean we work in the same profession. What are you gonna do now? You gonna finesse me? Lawyer me some more? I've been in this profession fifty fucking years. You and the people you work for are destroying the most-respected, the highest-rated, the most-profitable show on this network!"
"Fame has a fifteen minute half-life. Infamy lasts a little longer."
"Warning: Exposing the Truth May Be Hazardous"
"Two men driven to tell the truth... whatever the cost."
"Al Pacino - Lowell Bergman"
"Russell Crowe - Jeffrey Wigand"
"Philip Baker Hall - Don Hewitt"
"Christopher Plummer - Mike Wallace"
"Stephen Tobolowsky - Eric Kluster"
"One of America's Greatest Heroes...Portrayed by a Great Adventure Star!"
"George O'Brien — Daniel Boone"
"Heather Angel — Virginia Randolph"
"John Carradine — Simon Girty"
"Ralph Forbes — Stephen Marlowe"
"George Regas — Black Eagle"
"Dickie Jones — Master Jerry Randolph"
"Clarence Muse — Pompey"
"Huntley Gordon — Sir John Randolph"
"Harry Cording — Joe Burch"
"Aggie Herring — Mrs. Mary Burch"
"We should nuke these assholes with everything we got, sir."
"Screw the press! This is a need-to-know situation. We should make it a top secret, and we should move in right away with DefCon-4!"
"You can't have Martians running all over Nevada!"
"[The Martians break into the War Room and Decker approaches them, holding two pistols] You think you can do anything you want? Well, you can't, you see, because we are human beings! And we have the United States Army that'll fight you to the last man! And we'll never surrender! [Starts shooting at them, to no effect] Do you hear me?! [The Martian Leader uses a shrinking ray to begin miniaturizing Decker, who does not seem to notice, with his voice rising in pitch as he gets smaller and smaller] We'll fight you on the beaches! We'll fight you on the streets! We'll never, never surrender! Old Glory will win! [Now smaller than the Martian Leader's foot] Democracy will survive! We will never, never surrender! We will win! The eagle will be triumphant! [The Martian Leader stomps on Decker, crushing him]"
"What are you guys gawking at?! Get that President outta here!"
"[Repeated line] Whoa!"
"[Pitching a hotel/casino idea] If the Martians land, they're gonna need a place to stay. Just like everybody else."
"Even in a time of so-called intergalactic emergency, people still want to roooooll them bones!"
"I'd been thinkin' about Mars when there wasn't no Mars."
"I'm not a crook, I'm ambitious. There's a difference."
"I'll tell you one thing, they ain't gettin' the TV."
"[Watching Martians massacre the Senate] Guess it wasn't the dove."
"All green of skin... 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest. [General Decker: What the hell does that mean?!]"
"We come in peace! We come in peace!"
"Don't run! We are your friends!"
"I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad! I want the people to know that the schools will still be open, okay? And I want the people to know that the garbage will still be carried out. And I want a cop on every corner - which, incidentally, we would already have, if they had listened to me in the last election!"
"Rest assured that we will soon come out at a very real... outcome."
"[Overhearing the Martians' destruction of France via telephone] ...mon Dieu.."
"[Making one last appeal to the Martians] Why... are you doing this? Why? Isn't the universe big enough... for both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Because we're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Think how strong we would be! Earth... and Mars... together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish. Think about it! Think about it. Why destroy... when you can create? We can have it all, or we can smash it all! Why can't we... work out our differences? Why can't we... work things out? Little people... why can't we all just... get along? [The Martian Leader sheds a single tear. Dale smiles to himself, impressed. The Martian Leader approaches him and shakes hands with Dale. Then, the Martian Leader's hand detaches from his arm] What's this? [The hand proceeds to crawl all over Dale's body. At the small of his back, it stabs through his body. Dale collapses to the ground, dead. From his dead body, a flag rises: a Martian flag]"
"[About to get on the bus to leave for the Army, to his brother, Richie] So long, retard."
"DIE, YOU ALIEN SHITHEAD! [Prepares to shoot, but a Martian notices him] Uh-oh. [Drops his gun and holds up a flag] I surrender! [The Martian disintegrates him with a ray gun]"
"I want to thank my Grandma for always being so good to me, and, and for helping save the world and everything."
"Wow, he just made the international sign of the donut."
"They blew up Congress! [laughs]"
"[After a Martian's head explodes] I think it must be my music!"
"Richie, I think these guys are very sick."
"[As Taffy is awarding her the Congressional Medal of Honor] Thank you, honey. But don't you dare let anything like this happen again."
"[To Jerry Ross] When the Martians land, will the press have access? Can we do interviews?"
"We know they're extremely advanced technologically, which suggests - very rightfully so - that they're peaceful. An advanced civilization, by definition, is not barbaric."
"[As the Martians disintegrate Congress] Mr. Ambassador, please! What are you doing? This doesn't make sense! It's not logical! It's not - [A Martian knocks Kessler unconscious]"
"[Talking on the phone] Hello? This is General Casey. I get to meet the Martian Ambassador! Ain't that great? Oh, it's a hell of an honor. But didn't I always tell you, honey, if I just stayed in place and never spoke up, good things are bound to happen! Yeah... Okay. [Makes kissing noises and hangs up the phone]"
"Hey! You're Tom Jones, right? "It ain't unusual"? Hey Tom, Tom! Can I have an autograph? Anyone got a pen?"
"[To Byron] Hey! Hey, just because you're dressed like King Tut doesn't mean you're our leader!"
"[Running into a Martian] Shit! [The Martian aims at him, and he puts his hands up] I surrender, okay? You understand what that means, surrender? Lookit, you're intelligent beings. Hey, let's cut a deal. I can help ya. I'm a lawyer! You wanna conquer the world, you're gonna need lawyers, right? [Removes his watch] Here, you want my watch? Here, take it! Take it, go ahead! It's a Rolex! [The Martian blasts him and he shakes as he is vaporized] Ro-le-e-ex...!"
"My finger!"
"[Reporting in Pahrump, NV, where the Martians are landing] The teeming masses have gathered from who knows how many states. Waiting and watching. Why have they come? Curiosity? Or is it something more? Or is it simply to say "I was there. I was there when first man met Martian." Jason Stone, GNN. Pahrump."
"[As a chandelier is falling on top of her] The Nancy Reagan chandelier!"
"[Challenging a Martian to a fistfight] No weapons! No tricks! Just you and me! Byron Williams! The heavyweight champion of the world!"
"[Visibly androgynous appearing] Do the Martians have two sexes, like we do?"
"Martians. Ha ha. Funny looking little critters, aren't they?"
"Jack Nicholson - President James Dale / Art Land"
"Glenn Close - First Lady Marsha Dale"
"Annette Bening - Barbara Land"
"Pierce Brosnan - Professor Donald Kessler"
"Danny DeVito - Rude Gambler"
"Martin Short - Press Secretary Jerry Ross"
"Sarah Jessica Parker - Nathalie Lake"
"Michael J. Fox - Jason Stone"
"Rod Steiger - General Decker"
"Tom Jones - Tom Jones"
"Lukas Haas - Richie Norris"
"Natalie Portman - Taffy Dale-Norris"
"Jim Brown - Byron Williams"
"Lisa Marie - Martian Girl"
"Sylvia Sidney - Florence Norris"
"Christina Applegate - Sharona"
"Joe Don Baker - Glenn Norris"
"Pam Grier - Louise Williams"
"Paul Winfield - General Casey"
"Jack Black - Billy-Glenn Norris"
"Brian Haley - Mitch"
"O-Lan Jones - Sue-Ann Norris"
"Frank Welker - Martians (voice)"
"Roger L. Jackson - Translator Device (voice)"
"Nice planet. We'll take it!"
"FryDay December 13th"
"YIKES! They've Landed!"