133 quotes found
"What do you think I was doing the whole time you were out there man? I told you Dignan got fired, out on his ass. But you didn't think about that, did you. In the end it's easier to think about yourself than it is to think about Dignan."
"You know there's nothing to steal from my mom and Craig!"
"What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!"
"Okay. There, you see the star is me, right there, and I'll be in there. The X is Anthony. Bob, you're the zero out here in the car."
"We'll get him. We'll get him. Man, don't worry about that, we'll get him. And when we do, we'll blow up his car, do something. I can guarantee you that. What makes me furious is thinking about the look on Bob's fat face, thinking he pulled one over on us. I tell you another thing. If our paths cross again, you're gonna see a side of Dignan that you haven't seen before. A sick, sadistic side, cause I'm furious at Bob."
"Pointless act! You don't give a 500 dollar tip to the housekeeper! That's inappropriate! That's inexcusable! That, I don't forgive! What were you thinking? What were you thinking?"
"On the run from Johnny Law... ain't no trip to Cleveland."
"You, my dear friend, are a fucking fool."
"Here are just a few of the key ingredients: dynamite, pole vaulting, laughing gas, choppers - can you see how incredible this is going to be? - hang gliding, come on!"
"They'll never catch me... because I'm fucking innocent."
"Isn't it funny how you used to be in the nut house and now I'm in jail?"
"How does an asshole like Bob get such a great kitchen?"
"Ca-caw! Ca-caw!"
"Son of a bitch! Anthony! Anthony! Bob's gone. He stole his car! He flew the coop while we were sleepin'!"
"Shh, wait for my instructions. When we go through the next gate, you'll have thirty seconds to take out the tower guard. Thirty seconds. Have the car running at the northwest checkpoint. Bob and I are gonna scale the barricade, and then we're gonna tunnel through to no-mans-land. And Bob, remember, shield me from the bullets, they won't shoot civilians! Are you ready? Let's go! Let's go! Now! Now! Now! (smiling) Isn't it funny how you used to be in the nut house and now I'm in jail?"
"Bob gets the Spirit Award."
"One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer that question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life."
"He looks like a little banana. Where are you from pal?"
"They're not really criminals, but everybody's got to have a dream."
"Owen Wilson - Dignan"
"Luke Wilson - Anthony Adams"
"Robert Musgrave - Bob Mapplethorpe"
"Lumi Cavazos - Inez"
"James Caan - Abe Henry"
"Does this seem fake? [points gun at jane]"
"I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet, maybe dynamite."
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome."
"Nobody knows what's going to happen. And then we film it. That's the whole concept."
"You really think it's cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?"
"[to Ogata and Pele] What are you doing? Go to bed, you sons of bitches!"
"Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins."
"Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music."
"You know, I'd be jealous about you staying at Ali's place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet queer."
"That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!"
"Are you finding what you were looking for... out here with me? I hope so."
"Oseary, this is probably my son Ned. We just met."
"Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill."
"You hung us out to dry. If we don't handle this right, we're gonna all get murdered. Including her unborn British child."
"Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern."
"Tell them if they don't get off my boat right now... there's gonna be a major shit-storm."
"Be cool on this shit, okay, cubbie? I mean, at least try to show both sides."
"I said get your ass the hell off of my boat!"
"I've never seen a bond company stooge stick his neck out like that."
"The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah. "As if the natural world's been turned upside down." Lord Mandrake. Vikram, get some cutaways of this miracle. Klaus, Ogata, put out the deck fires before we sink."
"Those fucking amateurs. You left your dog, you idiots!"
"Go downstairs and throw a tarp over anything that says "Operation Henessey" on it."
"The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin' around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all."
"I mean, I know I want him to think of me like a father. But the fact that there's an outside chance that he could really be my actual... biological son... is very difficult for me."
"It's probably the last adventure I've got in me. I was hopin' to go out in a flash of blazes, but I'll probably just end up goin' home."
"Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?"
"What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best rum cannonball I've ever tasted."
"We'll give them the reality this time. A washed-up old man with no friends, no distribution deal, wife on the rocks, people laughin' at him, feelin' sorry for himself."
"Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up."
"I'm about to blow my stack. I turn my back, and the bullshit begins. Ned, you're a scumbag. And, Jane, you're a goddamn liar."
"I'm sorry I never acknowledged your existence all those years. It won't happen again. I mean it. You are my son to me. Almost more so."
"Give me that camera. I'm gonna smash it over your head. Cut!"
"This is the first time Eleanor's ever cried in front of me as long as I've known her. Except for once when she got her arm caught in the deck winch."
"Well, I was a little embarrassed at first. Obviously people are gonna think I'm a showboat and a little bit of a prick. But then I realized... that's me. I said those things. I did those things. I can live with that."
"[referring to the shark that ate his friend, Esteban] I wonder if it remembers me."
"We complete the adventure, but another member of our crew has been lost. This one was my son. Also our equity partner. We start the voyage home in our wounded vessel."
"This is an adventure."
"[while playing poker with pirates] Steven. Are you rescuing me? [Steve shrugs awkwardly] Fold. [Alistair is shot by one of the pirates]"
"They made soup out of my research turtles."
"We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay."
"Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived."
"Where are you coming from, jack off? Shit."
"Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?"
"Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me."
"I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy."
"Land ho! Port-au-Patois dead ahead! Port-au-Patois! Port-au-Patois! Ho! Ho! Ho! Land ho! Ho!"
"Psst! There's something in the coat check."
"Not if I don't see you first, sonny..."
"I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life!"
"I ought to have stayed in Kentucky where I belong."
"I still wish I could breathe underwater."
"If you ever touch me again I will kick your goddamn teeth out."
"I'm gonna fight you, Steve!"
"Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities..."
"Bill Ubell here. I'm on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. There's not much chance I'll get another opportunity to call... so I thought I would ask if— What? No."
"We fuckin' stole it, man"
"I'm also a human being."
"I need to find a baby for this father."
"Actually, I was sort of terrified about having this baby. And right now I'm not really scared of anything. Maybe it's my hormones."
"Bloody hell. God save that poor little stooge."
"Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours. We swam with the, um, uh — Oh, goddamn it. I had it on the plane. What was I gonna say? Ah, well."
"Tell me. Who knocked up the reporter?"
"Bill Murray - Steve Zissou"
"Owen Wilson - Ned Plimpton"
"Cate Blanchett - Jane Winslett-Richardson"
"Anjelica Huston - Eleanor Zissou"
"Willem Dafoe - Klaus Daimler"
"Jeff Goldblum - Alistair Hennessey"
"Michael Gambon - Oseary Drakoulias"
"Noah Taylor - Vladimir Wolodarsky"
"Bud Cort - Bill Ubell"
"Seu Jorge - Pelé dos Santos"
"Robyn Cohen - Anne-Marie Sakowitz"
"Waris Ahluwalia - Vikram Ray"
"I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's kind of spicy."
"I'm gonna go pray at another thing."
"Fuck the itinerary."
"Well, I'm not crazy about the part where I start screaming at the mechanic. That never happened."
"I'll take the bottom bunk because I'm the oldest and my ankle's fractured."
"I tried my hardest. I don't know what else to do."
"Dad's bags aren't gonna make it!"
"[While Francis and Peter are fighting] Stop including me!"
"You're bleeding like crazy!"
"Did you get maced too?"
"We haven't located us yet."
"Because I have alopecia."
"Maybe we could express ourselves more fully when we say it without words."
"I told you not to come here."
"I live here. These people need me."
"Yes, the past happened. But it's over, isn't it?"
"Jack: Ah, bon soir. S'il vous plait, je voudrais un verre de lait au chocolat et une soupe de oignon et un sandwich avec... How do you say grilled cheese? [mumbled French on from the phone] Merci, exactement, merci beaucoup."
"Rhett: What the fuck is going on here?"
"It's been proven by history: all mankind makes mistakes."
"Walt Bishop: Our daughter's been abducted by one of these beige lunatics!"
"Social Services: [to Scout Master Ward and Captain Sharp] You two are the most appallingly incompetent custodial guardians Social Services has ever had the misfortune to encounter in a TWENTY-SEVEN year career!"
"Jared Gilman - Sam Shakusky"
"Kara Hayward - Suzy Bishop"
"Bruce Willis - Captain Duffy Sharp"
"Edward Norton - Scout Master Randy Ward"
"Bill Murray - Walt Bishop"
"Frances McDormand - Laura Bishop"
"Tilda Swinton - Social Services"
"Jason Schwartzman - Cousin Ben"
"Bob Balaban - Narrator"
"Harvey Keitel - Commander Pierce"
"Rob Campbell - Deluca"
"Larry Pine - Mr. Billingsley"
"Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick - Roosevelt"
"Chandler Frantz - Gadge"