82 quotes found
"Life is not about the breaths you take, but it’s the moments that take your breath away."
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."
"Do you know the definition of "perseverance," Miss Melas? Continuing in a course of action... without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure."
"Begin each day as if it were on purpose."
"So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them."
"Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." Now, she might say: "This is a really bad time for me," or, something like... "I just need some space." Or, my personal favorite: "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying. It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now." Or possibly "Try harder, stupid." Well which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal. Body language; 30% is your tone. So that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you. She's a nice person. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom."
"With no guile, and no game... there’s no girl"
"One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just one shot, to make the difference between "happily ever after" and “Oh? He’s just some guy I went to some thing with once.”"
"Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the hell did I jump? But here I am, Sara, falling, and there's only one person who makes me feel like I can fly... That's you."
"I'm a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?"
"I'm like a vault baby, locked down!"
"I saw that going differently in my mind."
"[last lines] Basic principles - there are none."
"Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along."
"Give me a ring... sometime. [Laughs] I mean, on the phone."
"Can you believe what a beautiful day it is?"
"Sometimes it's really hard to see the forest through the sleaze."
"You know what it's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless? Feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man? But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you?"
"I've waited my entire life to be this miserable."
"You can't stop it... [shouts] You cannot stop it..."
"[showing Hitch his dance moves] Do the Q-tip! Q-tip! Now throw it away! Now what am I doing? I'm makin a pizza!"
"Alex "Hitch" Hitchens — Will Smith"
"Sarah Melas — Eva Mendez"
"Albert Breneman — Kevin James"
"Allegra Cole — Amber Valletta"
"Casey Sedgewick — Julie Ann Emery"
"Max — Adam Arkin"
"Cressida Baylor — Robinne Lee"
"Geoff — Nathan Lee Graham"
"Ben — Michael Rapaport"
"Vance Munson — Jeffrey Donovan"
"Mandy — Paula Patton"
"Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF!"
"[to Lurlynn] Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar. [Lurlynn: Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere.]"
"You dumb stubborn redneck hick."
"Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man."
"[Drunk, at the bar] Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar. [Eldon: What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?]"
"The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back."
"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last."
"[After punching Kate] Nobody talks to my mama like that! [Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!]"
"[On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform] Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?"
"[Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle'] "People need a passport to come down here.""
"Well for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce."
"[after leaving Andrew at the altar as a thunderstorm is approaching] Hey, y'all! If you're friends of the bride, stick around! I'm gonna go find me a groom!"
"[final line] Hey, Stella! Make it a slow one."
"[about the divorce papers Melanie wants him to sign] The only reason I ain't signin’ is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothin’ better right now than to piss you off."
"Honey, just 'cause I talk slow don't mean I'm stupid."
"[after looking at divorce papers] I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know. [Melanie: The cleaners—you?]"
"Since when does it have to be one or the other? You can have roots and wings, Mel."
"Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?"
"Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something?"
"What ever happened to responsible journalism?"
"There is nothing wrong with poor people. I get elected by poor people."
"[after Melanie tells Andrew that she still loves Jake at the wedding] I've never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful...and I'm in politics."
"[to Melanie] Woo-oo. You look like sex on a stick in that Frederick Montana getup."
"You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl."
"We weren't aimin' for ya, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral."
"Well, aren't you just a big fat liar?"
"[about a pair of handcuffs] Might wanna save those for the honeymoon! [laughs with Frederick Montana before exchanging a look]"
"You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean."
"[to Kate] Careful, you just smashed the state bird of Alabama."
"Well even if he is a Yankee, at least he's sober."
"[after Melanie punches Kate] Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!"
"Andrew: You married your cousin?"
"Pearl: How many times does your only daughter get married? [awkward pause] Well, other than the other time."
"Sometimes What You're Looking for Is Right Where You Left It."
"Fall... in love."
"Reese Witherspoon - Melanie Smooter/Carmichael"
"Josh Lucas - Jake Perry"
"Patrick Dempsey - Andrew Hennings"
"Candice Bergen - Mayor Kate Hennings"
"Mary Kay Place - Pearl Smooter"
"Fred Ward - Earl Smooter"
"Jean Smart - Stella Kay"
"Ethan Embry - Bobby Ray Bailey"
"Melanie Lynskey - Lurlynn, Melanie's best friend"
"Courtney Gains - Wade"
"Mary Lynn Rajskub - Dorothea"
"Rhona Mitra - Tabatha Wadmore-Smith, Melanie's best friend from New York"
"Nathan Lee Graham - Frederick Montana"
"Thomas Curtis - Young Jake"
"Dakota Fanning - Young Melanie"