Comedians from California

"Mostly, you write a script and someone’s gonna rewrite you. They get hundreds of—not hundred but they get ten writers to write something. If you have a big budget, you can go and get a lot of people to write on script .... I just actually heard that somebody said, 'Well, your screenplay got bought and now someone like Carrie Fisher will come in and rewrite you.' And I feel terrible, you know, because that’s not what I mean to do. My idea was never to raid something and trash it, you know. ‘Cause that – that’s more work for me!"

"I have gone to the set and you’re kind of around in this—it’s kind of combat writing when you do rewriting and stuff, and I feel like it’s a kind of ambulance chasing. Recently, I did this kind of a (laughing) where you go, “Oh, my God, it’s bleeding from the second act. Quick! Quick! Give me a suture! No, give me the paddles! This is the third act that’s having a heart attack!! The star is coming! The star is coming!" And it's this incredibly intense process!"

"I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George [Lucas]. I took too many drugs to remember."

"I Googled myself without lubricant. I don't recommend it."

"Things are getting worse faster than I can lower my standards."

"I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to be art."

"Instant gratification takes too long."

"That's the way it works in movies," said Suzanne. "Something happens that has an impact on someone's life, and based on that impact, his life shifts course. Well, that's not how it happens in life. Something has an impact on you, and then your life stays the same, and you think, 'Well, what about the impact?' You have epiphanies all the time. They just don't have any effect."

"I love what speed and coke do to my weight. It's unnatural, I know. I could just exercise. ..."

"I have to start by telling you that my entire existence can be summed up in one phrase. And that is: If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."

"It was one movie [[Star Wars (film)|[Star Wars]]]. It wasn't supposed to do what it did—nothing was supposed to do that. Nothing ever had. Movies were meant to stay on the screen, flat and large and colorful, gathering you up into their sweep of story, carrying you rollicking along to the end, then releasing you back into your unchanged life. But this movie misbehaved. It leaked out of the theater, poured off the screen, affected a lot of people so deeply that they required endless talismans and artifacts to stay connected to it."

"Ms. Fisher established Princess Leia as a damsel who could very much deal with her own distress, whether facing down the villainy of the dreaded Darth Vader or the romantic interests of the roguish smuggler Han Solo. ... Winning the admiration of countless fans, Ms. Fisher never played Leia as helpless. She had the toughness to escape the clutches of the monstrous gangster Jabba the Hutt and the tenderness to tell Han Solo, as he is about to be frozen in carbonite, “I love you.”"

"She said I was afraid of success, which may in fact be true, because I have a feeling that fufilling my potential would really cut into my sittin' around time."

"I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too."

"I'm not looking for much [in a guy], I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet."

"S-s-sure I'll join your cult. [nervous smile]"

"[impersonating her mother] Now, Maria, if a boy doesn't like you, I would just like you to know that he is intimidated by your beauty, because you are the most beautiful girl in the whole world and if you would stop doing impersonations of me I think other people would see that..."

"My old lip color could barely keep up with my busy schedule. In the time it takes to notice the wide discrepancy between my salary and that of my male peers, I'd have to reapply! In the seconds to count the number of women in high political office, seated on corporate executive boards and featured in film and television over the age of 40, my lip color would be as invisible as this glass ceiling only inches above my head! L'Oreal. Because I am worth it. And because holding myself to an impossible standard of beauty keeps me from starting a riot!"

"I love my country, but maybe that's because I'm white and rich. I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit, that I refuse to share with others."

"I wish I'd get mad about something that actually, you know, kinda mattered. Go in Target and be like: "You know what? If you can't help me, then I need to speak to someone who can, because this is a three dollar pair of flip-flops made by a 5-year-old Guatemalan girl, and I'm not leaving until she gets benefits and an education under the NAFTA Fair Trade Agreement. You better go get a manager. This could take awhile.""

"I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of shit that I don't need, and I refuse to share with others."

"I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope."

"[singing the song her therapist told her to improvise in order to "let her anxieties out"] If I keep the kitchen floor clean, no one will die!"

"(singing) Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!/"

"Time flies when you are anxious!"

"There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out."

"[when the bank calls:] "Chase Bank, I'm self-employed, how long do you want to stay on the phone?""

"Over seven thousand US veterans die of suicide every year, which is funny... [false laughter]... because you'd think they'd die over there, but they come home! Right? I thought that must be funny, because nobody was taking it that seriously."

""Oh, but I've done some other unforgivable, unspeakable thing"? Google it. There's seven billion of us. Somebody has done exactly what you have done, and is currently on a book tour. You're never alone!"

"[In response to having being referred to as schizophrenic] Well, that is clearly not my mental illness; I am Bipolar-II — which is the new gladiator sandal! Schizophrenia is, of course, hearing voices— not doing voices."

"Everything is being televised so you won't be able to tell where the Revolution is. "Who's revolting? Well, I don't know, what's on the other channel?""

"Unfortunately, people in California would vote for a bowl of shit if it had “D” next to it."

"I don’t do any of the writing, but I’ve had a really great friend Mitch Watson, who helped shaped that version of Daphne and allowed us to explore her more. The writers also allowed me to lean more into my “stand up routine” with Daphne in “Be Cool, Scooby-Doo”."

"It was fun kind of getting off the hamster wheel a little bit, I was able to write a bunch of songs, I started this kids' band called The Roughhousers and I wrote like 11 songs and we just put that out and it's fun. It's really good rock and roll music for kids and it's for adults too, because I just hate kids music. I would put kid music on and go, "Ugh, let's just put on Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton." I never played kid music for my kid, but this stuff is actually really good and we have the drummer from X and we have my ex-husband Murry Hammond was in the Old 97's playing bass and we have just an all-star super group of people doing the music and it's kind of taking off."

"My parents raised me to be very free with expressing myself"

"I think it’s been incredible to be able to represent two different cultures that are so rich in their history and very different from each other"

"There are so many mixed babies out there who don’t see themselves represented on TV or in the media or in film"

"Being able to have that light and have this platform has made me very choosy and very picky about roles, what I do, what I say, what I put out on social media."

"I think I carry this responsibility of being one of the voices of this generation, but also being a biracial girl and just kind of carrying the torch for everyone and paving the way"

"I am done holding my tongue to make the oppressor feel comfortable. Peace be with you all who are fighting out there for us in this twisted world"

"I really think it starts with having the conversations and having racism and prejudices and discrimination no longer be a necessary evil in order to just get ahead"

"It starts with everybody having a voice and not being quiet anymore, and having those uncomfortable discussions, because that’s the only way we’re going to rewrite the narrative of this global issue"

"I love acting because I think it’s beautiful to be able to step into other people’s shoes"

"as a person living in the world, you have to be able to open your heart and be vulnerable. Acting does that and I would say acting is really telling the truth"

"It is my job that requires me to bare my soul in front of random strangers on set all day, so I have to have this level of focus that kind of takes me outside of myself"

"I most definitely have faced racism and indifference in this industry and in the world period. However, I’m proud of who I am and I would never ever want to be anyone else but myself"

"I love my brown skin and my Asian eyes. It’s what makes me unique"

"I don’t look at my ethnicity as a setback but more of an asset."

"seeing little to no representation of who I am never discouraged me"

"My goal was and still is to make people feel like they belong somewhere"

"Diversity means love of all people. The love of every difference, every skin tone, every personality & culture"

"Don’t let people break your spirit, mama. What you spend five minutes dwelling on won’t even matter in five years."

"I just want to be free and creative until I can’t be anymore!"

"WE ALL GET THE SAME 24 HOURS IN A DAY, JUST GO OUT THERE AND BE GREAT—WHATEVER THAT IS. BE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO, AND STRIVE TO BE BETTER"

"I think stand-up is all controversial anyway and that's kind of the point of stand-up comedians is to be offensive and be weird and have opinions"

"A lot of music from some of our female artists is about relationships and can be a little whiny"

"I think, honestly, growing up was the biggest role I could have taken"

"I think having the creative outlet to express myself at a young age shaped me into the woman I am today"

"Sometimes I feel a little odd because no one in my life shares the same experiences that I do, but I hope that through my artistry I’m able to help people feel less alone in their feelings of weirdness or ‘too-much-ness"

"For us child actors, it can be really difficult to transition to adult material"

"In a lot of ways, I think songwriting can be more cathartic for me than acting because I’m really just sharing what makes me me"

"I just love being a woman and especially a multi-cultural woman where I’m able to hopefully continue to tell a wide range of stories that make others feel seen, recognized, and heard."

"The biggest legacy I want to leave behind is how much I loved and was loved by my tribe"