Misquotations

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."

""Hell is just a frame of mind": widely claimed on the internet to be a quotation from Christopher Marlowe's Doctor Faustus. The demon Mephistopheles in Doctor Faustus does, however, imply a similar idea by saying that losing his place in heaven makes him experience hell, by comparison, wherever he is:"

"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas."

"The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious"

""I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.", Dorothy Gale in The Wizard of Oz (played by Judy Garland)"

""In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things, charity" (In necessariis unitas, in non-necessariis [or, dubiis] libertas, in utrisque [or, omnibus] caritas)."

""A stupid person's idea of a clever person", Julie Burchill of Stephen Fry."

""Not many people know that.", Michael Caine, British actor."

""Nice guys finish last." Leo Durocher (1906–1991), US baseball manager."

""The two most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity." Harlan Ellison (born May 27, 1934), US author."

""I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" Voltaire"

""To learn who rules over you, simply find out whom you are not allowed to criticize." Voltaire"

""If I can't dance I don't want to be in [or a part of] your revolution." (also: "If I can't dance to it, it's not my revolution")"

"Just the facts, ma'am."

"We trained hard... but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization."

""Elementary, my dear Watson" – Sherlock Holmes"

"The end justifies the means."

"There's a sucker born every minute."

"On the whole, I would rather be in Philadelphia."

"I invented the internet."

"Theirs but to do or die!"

"Far from the maddening crowd"

"It's life, Jim, but not as we know it."

"We sleep safely in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would harm us."

"Well-behaved women rarely make history."

"Well, that escalated quickly."

"Please, Sir, can I have some more?"

"The harder he works, the luckier he gets."

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99, wear sunscreen."

"If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain."

"A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking real money."

"I will return and I will be millions."

"I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!"

"Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing."

"I cannot allow your ignorance, however great, to take precedence over my knowledge, however small."

"Good things come to those who wait."

"I can't believe Nixon won. I don't know anyone who voted for him."

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."

"The British are coming"

"The Shaggs are better than the Beatles."

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. (Samuel Goldwyn)"

"Don't worry, be happy."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is burning."

"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."

"Phenomenon (do, doo, do-do-doo)"

"Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world; he isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles."

"A house that has a library in it has a soul."

"Hell is the truth seen too late."

"No rest for the wicked."

"Lies, damned lies and statistics"

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

"Mate, how does it feel to have dropped the World Cup?"

"Because it's there"

"It's a funny old game"

"Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely."

""Beam me up, Scotty" – James T. Kirk"

""Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a..." – Leonard McCoy"

""All that glistens is not gold" / "All that glitters is not gold" – William Shakespeare"

""Blood, Sweat, and Tears" – Winston Churchill"

"God helps those who help themselves."

"Lead on, Macduff"

"Bubble bubble, toil and trouble."

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much"

"Money is the root of all evil."

"Now is the winter of our discontent."

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well."

"Play it again, Sam"

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille"

"Greed is good"

"Someone set us up the bomb"

"The rest is science"

"To gild the lily"

"Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

""I am not a crook" – Richard Nixon"

"You dirty rat!"

"The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash."

"A language is a dialect with a navy."

""The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crisis maintain their neutrality", or a variation on that."

""A damn close run thing" – Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington, referring to his victory over Napoleon at Waterloo."

""Do you feel lucky, punk?" – Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry"

"Whenever I hear the word 'culture' I reach for my revolver."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

"Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes."

"Houston, we have a problem"

""Kismet Hardy / Kiss me, Hardy" – British Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson"

""The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" – Edmund Burke"

""We don't need no steenking badges!" – Bandit in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre"

"Spare the rod, spoil the child"

""Crisis? What crisis?" – British Prime Minister James Callaghan"

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

"Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words."

"Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains."

"I woke up this mornin' and I got myself a beer."

"Hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease."

"Let them eat cake."

"You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

"Hello, Clarice."

"Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten me into"

"I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole court's out of order!"

"I am the devil, and I have come to do the devil's work."

"Music hath/has charms to soothe the savage beast."

"Only the Dead have seen the end of War."

"A rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

"Where art thou Romeo?"

"If you build it, they will come"

"'Step into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly."

"Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think"

"Nul points"

""Mirror, mirror, on the wall..." – The Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"

"Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman, Be him alive or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread."

"Luke, I am Your Father – Darth Vader in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back"

"Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink."

"Brace yourself, winter is coming"

"And I'd have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!"

"There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way."

"Eppur Si Muove (And Yet it Moves)."

"Lights, Camera, Action."

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"

"640k ought to be enough for anyone."

"Do you want to play a game?"

"Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."

"Good Morning, Dave."

"Rivers of Blood."

"Are you aware that Claude Pepper is known all over Washington as a shameless extrovert? Not only that, but this man is reliably reported to practice nepotism with his sister-in-law, he has a brother who is a known homo sapiens, and he has a sister who was once a thespian in wicked New York. Worst of all, it is an established fact that Mr. Pepper, before his marriage, habitually practiced celibacy."

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

"That's where the money is."

"I may be drunk, Bessie, but you are ugly, and tomorrow I shall be sober."

"The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton."

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."

"The people of this country have had enough of experts. - Michael Gove, in interview with Faisal Islam on June 3, 2016."

""Nothing comes between me and my Calvins." – Brooke Shields"

""This is not madness. This is Sparta." - Gerald Butler as Leonidas in 300 (2007)."

""Your princess is in another castle." - Super Mario Brothers (1985)."

""Imagine, if you will." - The Twilight Zone (1959-1964)."

""The meaning of life is 42." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers’ Guide To The Galaxy, Primary Phase (radio), 1978."

""What's the deal with [X]?" - Seinfeld (1989-1998)"

"I don't want to believe, I want to know."

"A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad."

"Yogi Berra"

"Otto von Bismarck"

"Albert Camus"

"George Carlin"

"Winston Churchill"

"Albert Einstein"

"Benjamin Franklin"

"Bill Gates"

"Samuel Goldwyn"

"Adolf Hitler"

"Abraham Lincoln"

"Napoleon Bonaparte"

"Dorothy Parker"

"Dan Quayle"

"Carl Sagan"

"William Shakespeare"

"George Bernard Shaw"

"Joseph Stalin"

"John Steinbeck"

"Henry David Thoreau"

"Mark Twain"

"Kurt Vonnegut"

"Oscar Wilde"