Dudeism

"According to religious scholar Huston Smith, Taoism has only one basic text, the Tao Te Ching (or, in English, The Way and Its Power), a slim volume that, as Smith says, can be read in half an hour or a lifetime. Legend has it that a Chinaman by the name of Lao Tzu one day said “Fuck it” (loosely translated from the Chinese), hopped on a water buffalo (possibly with rust coloration), and started heading a-way out west to Tibet. … Regardless of whether the legend is true, or whether Lao Tzu even really existed, the Chinaman is not the issue here, Dudes. The issue is that the Tao Te Ching is the perfect expression of Taoism’s wu wei of life, or in the parlance of Huston Smith, a life of creative quietude in which “the conscious mind must relax, stop standing in its own light, let go” so that it can flow with the Tao (or Way) of the universe."

"Dudeism has a lot in common with Taoism, of course, being its philosophical compeer. Taoists, for example, revere the fella I’ve innerduced by the name of Lao Tzu (literally “The Old Boy,” not something most folks where I come from would self-apply); we have “The Dude.” Lao Tzu rejected uptight Chinese imperial society and rode off to the mountains of Tibet, while The Dude rejected uptight American imperial society and became a roadie with Metallica. Lastly and most importantly, Dudeists share Taoism’s wu wei ethos of just taking it easy, man, and rolling with the cosmic flow."

"Dudeness that can be known is not Dude. The substance of the World is only a name for what Abides. The tumbling of tumbleweeds is all that exists and may exist; The rug is only a fabrication which ties the room together. One experiences without being uptight, or enters a World of Pain, And investigates complicated cases in order to understand the World."

"The Dude digs the style of the Stranger, and the Stranger, the style of the Dude; They are distinct only in front of the bar. Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes he eats you Which is infinitely greater and more subtle than the fucking TOE!"

"When the Dude is recognized in the World Undudeness is seen everywhere; When Pacifism is hidden behind Aggression will go unchecked. Am I wrong?"

"The Stranger controls without authority, And teaches without cuss words; He lets all things take ‘er easy, Watches the semifinals, but does not interfere, Drinks sarsaparilla without demanding, And takes comfort where he can."

"Not achieving prevents having to overcome obstacles; Not keeping the money prevents theft; Not flaunting beauty prevents thousand-dollar blowjobs. This is not ‘Nam. This is bowling."

"If people aren’t privy to the new shit that has come to light, Cowards among them will threaten castration; If no action is taken, There will only be pee-stains on the rug."

"Let me tell you somethin’ about The Dude. He would never dream of taking your bullshit money; You will not cut off his Johnson, even if you throw a marmot into his bath; His mind is limber, and he fits right in there; What the fuck are you talking about? I lost my train of thought here."

"Nihilists are not kind; They believe in nothing. The Stranger is not kind, He drifts where the wind catches him. Nihilists are like a bellows Empty, yet full of hot air, The more they threaten, the more cowardly they seem; The Stranger also rambles and loses his train of thought But tells a purty good story."

"Bowling is everlasting because it does not have a point. In this way, the Dude: Makes his point at the end and finds he made it at the beginning; Rolls casually down the lane, and endures through strikes and gutters. Because he does not put himself over the line, he does not enter a world of pain."

"When a plan gets too complex, everything can go wrong; You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?"

"This is a natural, zesty enterprise. Oh. Yes."

"There never was any fucking money; What in God’s holy name are you blathering about?"

"The Dude said: “You can’t be worried about that shit. Life goes on.” “Would you just take it easy, man!? You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.”"

"Looked at but cannot be seen — it is a worthy fucking adversary; Listened to but cannot be heard — it is a stonewalling little brat; Grasped at but cannot be touched — it floats off across the sky. There is no bottom, nor the proper nomenclature, All these strands make it a very complicated case."

"The best Achievers are scarcely known by the Bums; The next best are compensated and given beepers; The next are real reactionaries; The next, human paraquat: They have no faith in the Bums, So the Bums reveal them for the phonies they are. When the best achievers achieve their purpose, The bums leave them alone, mister."

"When Dudeness is forgotten, League bylaws and rules arise; Then political advocacy and pornography are joined, And standards fall regrettably."

"The people are busy, as I know you are, Whereas I am unemployed. Let me explain something about the Dude: He is sustained by the Tree of Life, As the ex used to say."

"The tumbleweeds do not last long, Nor does the Dude. If the Stranger’s words do not last Why should those of man, man? To follow the Dude, become the Dude; the Dude will abide you."

"Those who wish to threaten the Dude Because they want ze money Cannot succeed. The World is shaped by taking it easy; It cannot be shaped by undudeness. If one tries to steer it, the plane crashes into the mountain; When one works in shifts, promising, uh, uh, leads will not be found."

"Bullshit money or basic freedom: which is dearer? Contentment or competition: which is more valuable? Compensation or employment: which is more painful?"

"Great coitus incurs great expense, And great wealth incurs great goldbricking, But great abidement incurs no loss. Therefore: He who knows when to take it easy Can’t be worried about that shit, And may long endure both strikes and gutters."

"We believe that the Dudeist tradition started as a response to the excesses of civilization. That was Lao Tzu's deal anyway. Lots of similar traditions dealt with issues of work and status and anxiety and nature the same way. But they were all, pretty much, taken over by fascists and real reactionaries. Even Taoism was taken over by charlatans and phonies. But the pure undogmatic centre of lots of traditions (Christianity, Vedism, Buddhism etc) is all the same. And that's Dudeism."

"Dudeism is non-theistic. We don't see anything as a kind of God figure. That's not to say we're not religious. We do think there's some far out shit out there, but it's not some old guy with a moustache. Anyway, The Stranger is probably more like a mirror of ourselves. He also may be the ghost of America's past — taking stock of what's become of the nation's integrity."

"The Dude is an extreme case, but he provides an ideal which can help you to bring a little more "Dude" into your life, without giving up on the rat race entirely. … I grew up in the 1980s, which was a very ambitious and materialistic time — the era of the Yuppies. Even as a youth, I found it frightening and false. … The reason I embarked on a 10-year backpacking journey was so I could avoid being brainwashed by the machine of industry, and find the space and freedom to indulge my imagination."

"People who intuitively perceive 2,500-year-old Chinese and Greek concepts, while nodding to California's detached hippie philosophy and quoting droll lines from The Big Lebowski, which turns 15 this year, are joining a revelatory religion that has illuminated its U.S. founder in northern Thailand. Dubbed "Church of the Latter-Day Dude," the group also invites "mellow, unflashy chicks who hang around in their bathrobes and take baths with candles and whale sounds," says the religion's Dudely Lama, Oliver Benjamin."