"Joseph: Yeah, I know. You know the next time you people come and drive us off our land I'm gonna find a nice piece of swamp that's so God-awful, maybe then you'll leave us the hell alone."

"Zane Cooper: I've never committed a cold blooded murder in my life, and I'm not about to. Not till I find Maverick."

"If I can't touch you, I can touch your shirt and dream."

"You thought that was fast? I thought it was fast. Well was it?"

"Heather Burns - Cheryl Frasier, Miss Rhode Island"

"Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart"

"Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress."

"She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition."

"Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover."

"[to Gracie] If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced."

"Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."

"Eyebrows. There should be TWO."

"There are no words."

"I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."

"Hey! I'm GLIDING here!"

"Look, she's gonna cry again. [imitating winner] 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'"

"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!"

"William Shatner - Stan Fields"

"Ernie Hudson - FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald"

"Candice Bergen - Cathy Morningside"

"Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews"

"Michael Caine - Victor Melling"

"For centuries, Europe has survived many foreign invasions. Now for the real test. Chevy Chase and his typical American family are on the way."

"Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold"

"Beverly D'Angelo as Ellen Griswold"

"[singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time."

"(The car is stuck in a traffic circle) Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament."

"Eric Idle as The Bike Rider"

"For over two thousand years, Europe has survived many great disasters. Now for the real test. Chevy Chase & his family are coming from America!"

"Victor Lanoux as The Thief"

"[about Stonehenge] Take a last look kids, At one of man's most curious creations, built to stand the test of time and the elements, the war, you name it, A thing of glory for a million in future generations to see, and we were here."

"Yeah country's eons old kids, that's centuries to you and me."

"Jason Lively as Rusty Griswold"

"Dana Hill as Audrey Griswold"

"[Opening lines] A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But, here, in our little village of Anatevka, every one of us is a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy. You may ask, why do we stay here if it's so dangerous? We stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word: Tradition!"

"Michael Glaser - Perchik"

"Michele Marsh - Hodel"

"Rosalind Harris - Tzeitel"

"Paul Mann - Lazar Wolfe"

"Molly Picon - Yente"

"Leonard Frey -Motel Kamzoil"

"Norma Crane - Golde"

"Chaim Topol - Tevye"