"An IPO is an initial public offering. It's a first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price, then sold those shares right back to our friends. The i- Look, I-I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? That's-that's okay. That doesn't matter. The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely fucking not. But we were making more money than we knew what do with."

"I fucked her brains out... for eleven seconds."

"[On the phone with a customer] We don't give two shits about how technology works. All we care about is being fucking RICH."

"This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! [quoting from Norma Rae] They're gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, 'cause I ain't going nowhere!"

"On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine... Well, because it's awesome."

"The Quaalude, or Lude as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor—that's dots, not feathers—as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. But, pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just 15 minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Didn't take long for people to start abusing Ludes, of course, and in 1982, the U.S. Government "Schedule 1'd" them, along with the rest of the world. Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. No shit. You can't even buy them, anymore. You people are all shit out of luck."

"You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. "Fuck" this, "shit" that, "cunt", "cock", "asshole"; I couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other. I was hooked in seconds. It was like main-lining adrenaline."

"Let me tell you something. There's no nobility in poverty. I've been a poor man, and I've been a rich man. And I choose rich every fucking time."

"[urinating on his subpoena] Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

"So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on your credit card bills? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think you're a fucking worthless loser? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! All you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the words that I have taught you. And I will make you richer than the most powerful CEO in the United States of fucking America!"

"Think about it. You're dealing with numbers. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. Bang, bang, bang. Fucking digits. All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. All right? It kind of wigs some people out. Right. You got to feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. I keep the rhythm below the belt. Done."

"Men engaging in dwarf tossing when film freeze frames My name is Jordan Belfort. Freeze frame when dwarf is about to hit target Not him. Film shows protagonist Me. That's right. I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week."

"Oh, my God, the emperor of Fucksville came down from Fucksville to give me a pass! [Brad: From Fucksville, huh?] Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Is it... is it mayhem? Are people looting and raping? What are all the little fuckheads doing while you're here?"

"[Seeing the results of Black Monday] HOLY... FUCKING... SHIT."

"Hey, Jordon, let me give you a little legal advice: Shut the fuck up! [Jordon: [becomes enraged as he was escorted away by the FBI agents] Oh, fuck you, you fucking prick! I'm making an honest living, you motherfucker!]"

"Leonardo DiCaprio - Jordan Belfort"

"Eric Lloyd - Hilliard, Harry's son"

"Amy Irving - Jane"

"Caroline Aaron - Doris, Harry's sister"

"Viola Harris - Elsie"

"Hazelle Goodman - Cookie"

"Eric Bogosian - Burt - Harry's brother in law"

"Shifra Lerer - Dolly - Harry's Character"

"Demi Moore - Helen - Harry's Character"

"Stanley Tucci - Paul Epstein - Harry's Character"

"Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Leslie - Harry's Character"

"Paul Giamatti - Prof. Abbott"

"Mariel Hemingway - Beth Kramer"

"Robin Williams - Mel - Harry's Character"

"Jennifer Garner - Woman in the elevator - Harry's character"

"Kirstie Alley - Joan - Harry's former wife"

"Billy Crystal - Larry/Devil - Harry's friend"

"Richard Benjamin - Ken - Harry's Character"

"Judy Davis - Lucy"

"Harry Block wrote a bestseller about his best friends. Now, his best friends are about to become his worst enemies."

"Harry Block has written a best seller... about his best friends... he revealed their deepest secrets... and they're not pleased... now Harry Block is going to Hell..."

"Bob Balaban - Richard, friend that dies of a heart attack"

"Woody Allen - Harry Block"

"Does the president think of fucking every woman he meets? Ah, bad example."

"The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign"."

"The two most important things are the work you choose and sex."

"I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you."

"Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning."

"Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world."

"Elisabeth Shue - Fay, Harry's last girlfriend"

"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."

"Floor five: Subway muggers, aggressive panhandlers, and book critics. Floor six: Right-wing extremists, serial killers, lawyers who appear on television. Floor seven: The media. Sorry, that floor is all filled up. Floor eight: Escaped war criminals, TV evangelists, and the NRA."

"Tobey Maguire - Harvey Stern - Harry's character"

"Mindy Kaling"

"David Krumholtz"