"Okay. Okay, now, who can we get to go talk to the girl and impress her? Come on, let's think, there must be someone—someone who's reasonably good-natured, has a reasonably high TVQ, and absolutely nothing important to do."

"James Staley - Vice President Merck"

"Cliff DeYoung - Hilley"

"Richard Romanus - Emir"

"Andre Gregory - Nawaf Al Kabeer"

"Maria O'Brien - Donna"

"No, dear, I'm not a chicken; I'm an emu."

"You mean you wanna tell me what you think I should say, right?"

"Joel Brooks - Ben"

"Kenneth McMillan - Senator Morris"

"Look, the car is temporarily out of order and it'll be ready in a minute, I swear."

"Jean Smart - Ella"

"Keith Szarabajka - Crowe"

"Kenneth Mars - Lou Fox"

"And this is the Declaration of Independence. Can you read that? "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain [i]nalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." We're real proud of that."

"Chris Sarandon - Michael Ransome"

"Now, you know, I never read the—the Constitution. This'll be fun for all of us, won't it?"

"You wanna know something? That before I started to work for the government, I'd never read the Constitution? I didn't even begin to know how things worked—I didn't. I didn't read the newspaper, except to look at my horoscope, and I never read the Declaration of Independence; but I know they had—the ones we're talking about, the "experts"—they all read it. They just forgot what it's about—that it's about "We the People." And that's me; I'm "We the People", and you're "We the People", and all of us, we're all "We the People", right? So when they sell me that ten-cent diamond, or down the river, or-or to some guy who wears a lot of medals, that means they're selling all of us, all of "We the People." And when they—I mean, when you guys—when you spend another pile of money, and when you give away or sell all those guns and tanks and planes, and every time you invite another foreign big-shot to the White House and hug and kiss 'em and give them presents, it has a direct effect on "We the People"'s lives!"

"I'm not yelling, I'm just speaking distinctly!"

"He was cursing in at least four languages."

"Goldie Hawn - Sunny Davis"

"There's something funny going on in Washington. Goldie's about to become a diplomat."

"[to Linda Christie] I had to go to Washington once when I was married, and though I was the one leaving, I got sick, and when I returned, my wife threw up."

"No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to."

"I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists."

"[in a dream sequence to Dream Sharon] Sorry I had to slap you around, but you got hysterical when I said, "No more.""

"[voiceover, after watching Casablanca] Who am I kidding? I'm not like that. I never was, I never will be. . . . That's strictly the movies."

"I wonder if she actually had that orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?"

"I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."

"Diana Davila as Museum girl"

"[to Dick and Linda Christie] I'm going home. I think today I'm gonna brush all my teeth!"

"Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman appear in scenes from Casablanca as Richard "Rick" Blaine and Ilsa Lund, respectively."

"Jennifer Salt - Sharon"

"Joy Bang - Julie"

"Susan Anspach - Nancy"

"Tony Roberts - Dick Christie"

"Viva - Jennifer"

"I never saw a dame yet that didn't understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45."

"Jerry Lacy - Humphrey Bogart"

"Woody Allen - Allan Felix"

"Somewheres in life you got turned around. It's her job to smell good for you."

"Diane Keaton - Linda Christie"

"[to Linda Christie] Look. Last night you felt like a woman, and I felt like a man . . . And that's the kind of thing those people do."