"I came here when I was fourteen, with a life expectancy of thirteen. I was bounced around from home to home until this... became my home. Guys would line up outside that door to fight me. They whooped my skinny ass so much I started to enjoy it. Until one winter, I grew eight inches, gained sixty pounds, punched a guy so hard he couldn't move his arm to tap out. Then when the Joes came recruiting to the hood, I'd already beaten down half of it. I became a Joe to serve. In the field. So if we're fighting uphill, we take the hill."

"Well the good news is no global warming summit next month."

"Why does anyone want to be president? Everybody wants to rule the world."

"[greeting Cobra Commander] Cool mask!"

"On my orders, the covert special forces unit, codenamed Cobra, terminated with extreme prejudice Joe command, facilities, personnel. The GI Joes... are no more."

"It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?"

"Hustle up guys. You've got to get that defector and get the hell out of there. No delays."

"Well how come when the general says it, it sounds crazy?"

"In the immortal words of Jay-Z: "Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don't let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I'd accept my fate.""

"Making more things go boom before 9 am. than most people do all day."

"[beating Roadblock] I want to see that face. The one where you realize today's the day. It's the face all those pretty little Joes had in the desert when I lit them all up like fireworks!"

"Escargot: Ooh-la-la, cherie. I forgot—mon dieu! I, too, have another rendezvous."

"Hey down there! It's high noon now. Whoo! That is high as I climb. And noon means lunch. EATING TIME!"

"I'm a little old peddler, quiet and meek. But under it all, I am still, so to speak, the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak!"

"[to Custard] My, what a face! That's no way to start the day. You'll never understand: If you want a sunny morning, you must give the sun a hand! How you ask? It's very simple: Show some grit, show a dimple, turn that frown upside down."

"Oh, sometimes I wish I had an alarm clock that didn't oversleep."

"Away, berry birds. Steal me berries. I need berries for my pies—berries! Ho-hoh, berries!"

"[After toddler Apple Dumplin' gives him a note] Hmm. "I hereby surrender, and promise to be a good guy from now on". You surrender? You want me to sign that? Never!"

"Plum Puddin': I think I know just what to do: I'll calculate, conjugate, equate and equalize/And come to the conclusion that the party'll be a surprise!"

"[during the last musical number] And what do I see/When I turn on TV?/My favorite cartoon Tom and Berry!"

"Boys and girls, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, cats and dogs ... welcome to the world of Strawberry Shortcake!"

"Evil never looked so good"

"Peter Breitmayer - Dr. Hundtkinder"

"Grégory Fitoussi - Baron de Cobray"

"Gerald Okamura - Hard Master"

"When all ease fails, they don't"

"Byung-hun Lee - Storm Shadow"

"Sienna Miller - Anastasia 'Ana' DeCobray/Baroness"

"Ray Park - Snake Eyes"

"Channing Tatum - Captain Duke Hauser"

"Christopher Eccleston - James McCullen/Destro"

"Arnold Vosloo - Zartan"

"Kevin J. O'Connor - Doctor Mindbender"

"Rachel Nichols - Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara"

"Saïd Taghmaoui - Breaker"

"Marlon Wayans - Ripcord"

"Dennis Quaid - General Hawk"

"Brendan Fraser - Sergeant Stone"

"The time has come for the Cobra to rise up and reveal himself. [dons a new mask] You will call me... Commander!"