Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

"[Loc Dog shoots a hole in the door as Ashtray approaches] Trey, is that you? Hey nigga, you better start announcing yourself before you get smoked up in here, nigga. Damn. You know that chronic make me paranoid, baby. Come here you old fool dog mark ass trick, give me some love."

"[While filling out a job application] Name: Loc Dog, baby. Height: Six-deuce! Age: 19. Father's name: mmm... I dunno. Sex: hell yeah, nigga! Salary desired: 3 million dollars! Cash!"

"Everyone in the hood been up in her! She got more kids than Mrs. Wayans!"

"Well, I can see how a pretty little woman like yourself can make a man a little sick- I mean, nervous!"

""The Dog" don't bite... unless ya ask."

"[After his friend dies because he smoked a powerful joint] Yo, pass that shit!"

"(After he sees Tray kiss Dashiki) 'ey stupid, you realize you just kissed every nigga at this party?"

"My name is Dashiki. That's Swahili for "doggy-style.""

"[Ashtray and Dashiki are having foreplay on the kitchen floor. Ashtray gets a hot dog out of the fridge and starts rubbing it on Dashiki's face. She sees what it is and takes it and says "nuh-huh fool! that's the baby's lunch!""

"[smoking a joint] Damn! This is some good shit."

"[after Ashtray hits her] You still hit like a bitch, motherfucker."

"Ashtray! You little bitch ass motherfucker! Come over here and give your grandma a hug!"

"[to new gang member while in prison] Let me tell you something, in this world, if you can't swim...you bound to drizzown. And if you fall, you better pick your punk ass up! [to other gang members] And for the rest of you alls...Don't cut him no slack!"

"Man, it's only been 1,825 days, 6 hours and 13 minutes! She could have waited! [after seeing Dashiki kissing Ashtray]"

"Just shoot everything in sight! Everything! [during the final drive by shoot out]"

"Ashtray's Mother: Tray, I don't want you hangin' out in the streets. I want you to finish school, 'cause without an education the only kind of work you're gonna get is sellin' drugs, pimpin' women, or workin' security for Eddie Murphy."

"[during job interview] Recruiter: Well, I see your hobbies include "drinkin', smokin' weed, and all types of ill shit.""

"Ashtray's cellmate: If you hit a man, in time his wounds will heal. If you steal from a man, you can replace what you steal. And always cross in the green, never in between. Because the honorable Elijah Muhammed Ali floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And always remember my brother, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, knick knack, paddy whack, give a dog a bone, two thousand, zero, zero, party, oops! Out of time, my bacon smellin' fine."

"Mailman:(repeated line) Message!"

"Al Dog: Five dollas buster!"

"Preacher: "And that's what God expects from His sheep, here at the Greater Ebenezer New Revival Tree of Life Institutional Double Rock on the Side of the Road The Jericho Missionary Baptist Church of Zion! Did I say Mount Cavalry! Huh! Ya'll Don't Hear Me!""

"Korean Woman: [Ashtray is looking at something while the racist Korean woman nervously dusts wine bottles] Hurry up and buy."

"Doo Rag: What's up with them hoes tonight?"

"Ashtray - Shawn Wayans"

"Loc Dog - Marlon Wayans"

"Toothpick - Darrel Heath"

"Crazy Legs - Suli McCullough"

"Dashiki - Tracey Cherelle Jones"

"Preach - Chris Spencer"

"Snowflake - Kelly Vaughn"

"Officer Self Hatred - Bernie Mac"

"Mailman - Keenen Ivory Wayans"

"Grandma - Helen Martin"

"Korean Woman - Tamayo Ostuki"

"Doo-Rag - Isaiah Barnes"