"I know it's called a pigskin, but it's not against your religion to catch it."

"I’ve always been a rebel, which means I question the hell out of things and yelling at me doesn’t do any good."

"I know Jungle Boy, he looked at me like a father figure, he sure did. But here's the thing, Jungle Boy, I never wante…"

"Your father wasn't famous, nobody cares, so stop whining about it."

"Darby, Sting, are you going to introduce me to your little friend? I think I know who this guy is. I heard a lot abou…"

"There is a vast difference between success at twenty-five and success at sixty. At sixty, nobody envies you. Instead,…"

"Fate cast me to play the role of an ugly duckling with no promise of swanning. Therefore, I sat down when a mere chil…"

"... poor had no terror for me! It was pie for me! My whole life had been a fight!"

"I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh."

"It is well enough to be interested in one's profession, but to restrict one's leisure to association with the members…"