Keith Olbermann

"It's such a simple thing, really. It's an awareness that the other people in the world are other people, and that you are one of them. That every time you have a chance to help somebody out, to do what's right instead of what you think you're supposed to do, you should do it."

"I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. If you're in a public media setting and you're not expressing something of yourself, turn it over to someone who will. Just get out. Just go away and put somebody on who has a point of view, because the most dangerous thing about TV is its equalizing factor, its lowest common denominator factor. And that's what I fight against all the time."

"This is the exact definition of my ego. When Fox had my head 40 feet high at Shea Stadium they said to me, "We're going to give out 100,000 temporary tattoos of your face at the Super Bowl." And I just swallowed and said, "No. God. Don't. You're not going to, you can't possibly — what do you mean, temporary?""

"If you make a decision in your life, even one as eminently logical and self-improving as "Why'd you start washing your hair every day?" and you start getting questioned hourly about it, you're going to start second-guessing yourself."

"I just think if you're 44 years old and you're not smarter than you were when you were 35 years old or 25 years old, just stay in your room."

"Without humor, a sports fan is a religious fanatic. Without humor, a newscast is a terrible, depressing, unpalatable thing."

"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they say 'no' — they may not be smart enough to say "yes.""

"The format of the nightly newscasts is still very much 1981 — "Tremble, onlookers! I am the anchorman and now here is a miracle: a report by satellite from many thousands of miles away. I will return to introduce another one in due course.""

"Without [hatred] Michelle Malkin would just be a big mashed up bag of meat with lipstick on it."

"You know the Art Rule: Do something that entertains/interests YOU, if you're lucky it'll do (the) same for others"

"Courage is a mutual thing."

"An uprising of the reasonable is our only chance."

"I do know without fear of contradiction what the definition of life is and it is 12 words long. 'Life is defined by how much you improve the lives of others.'"

"The terrorists have won... What was their goal 15 long, sad years ago? To strip from the world's greatest power, their traditions of growing tolerance. To hamstring the international interests of a country that barely stuck to the international double-white line of the moral road, but came closer than any other. To take our energies from trying... to help the world move forward, and instead make us direct those energies inward, at one another, within our own borders."

"He pulled a groin. His own we hope!"

"They're...not...gonna...get him."

"He puts the biscuit in the basket."

"From way downtown...BANG!"

"It's deep, and I don't think it's playable."

"(named Player)..did not finish/qualify/win, etc."

"He hits the ball, real hard."

"He beats him like a rented goalie!"

"He will drool the drool of regret into the pillow of remorse."

"He's frozen pizza."

"NEEEEEEXT."

"When this quality sports product..."

"Brought to you by..."

"(Emulating Tony Bruno) Houston, hello! (or any other city)"

"Un-believable."

"He gacked on it."

"Full extension!"

"A good craftsman doesn't blame his tools."

"Mister Dictionary has failed us yet again."

"Lugnuts...nothing but lugnuts."

"There has been a [name of player] sighting."

"I can read his lips, and he is not praying."

"As promised."

"You, sir . . ."

"You are a liar."

"Good night and good luck."

"(Name of player) From way downtown...BANG!"

"Bye Felicia"

"Lonesome Rhodes"

"Harold Hill"

"Televangelist"

"Elmer Gantbeck"

"John of Orange"

"Redbeard the Pirate"

"Bozell The Clown"

"Coultergeist"