parody-films

"Seven James Bonds at Casino Royale. They came to save the world and win a gal at Casino Royale. Six of them went to a heavenly spot. The seventh one is going to a place where it's terribly hot."

"I remember your chap Lenin very well. First class organizer. Second class mind."

""In my day spying was an alternative to war. The spy was a member of a select and immaculate priesthood, vocationally d-devoted, sublimely disinterested. Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat who leaves a t-trail of beautiful d-dead women like blown roses behind him."

"[Jimmy Bond is flailing his arms crazily trying to communicate] I never should have sent him to a Progressive school."

"Be careful, that's my loose kneecap."

"[Giving a description of his era's spy type] ... vocationally devoted, sublimely disinterested. Hardly a description of that sexual acrobat who leaves a trail of dead beautiful women like so many blown roses behind him, that bounder to whom you gave my name and number."

"Sir James: So, that's your plan, huh? The world full of beautiful women and all men shorter than yourself."

"[Pulls down the handle on a toilet and floor circulates to another room] It's the first john I've ever gone around with."

"Never trust a rich spy!"

"[Being led to a firing squad] You do know of course that this means an angry letter to The Times?"

"You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. I-I, eh, eh, oh, oh, what if I said I was pregnant?"

"[Speaking amorously to The Detainer, believing he has seduced her to his cause] And afterwords we can run amok! Or if you're too tired, we can walk amok."

"All this trouble just to make up for your feelings of sexual inferiority? I'm beginning to think your a trifle neurotic."

"Look at my garden. Out there - there is a b-black rose. Not dark red. But, black - as a raven's wing at midnight. Gentlemen, I would not exchange one single pe-petal of that lovely flower for anything your world has to offer, including an Aston Ma-martin complete with lethal accessories."

"It's vaporized lysergic acid, it's highly explosive!"

"This will show Sir James, once and for all, which of us has the perfect body. The poor boob!"

"Proceed with SMERSH Plan B. Sir James Bond is back - with his morals, his vows, and his celibate image. We must destroy that image."

"[hic] ...Four... [hic] ...three... [hic] ...two... [hic]"

"[Escaping the firing squad] So long, suckers!"

"Debussy. He plays Debussy every afternoon from sunset until its too dark to read the music. Stands on his head a lot. Eats royal jelly. Let's his intestines down and washes them by hand. Something he learned during his sojourn in Tibet."

"He used to say a good spy is a pure spy - inside and out."

"[To Evelyn Tremble entering the laboratory. He hands him a form] If you'd be good enough to sign here, sir. It's not for me, it's for the Official Secrets Act."

"[Lions approaching vehicle] I did not come here to be devoured by symbols of monarchy."

"Grand Prix enthusiasts may be worried by the amount of time it has taken me to get into this Lotus Formula Three. What they don't realize is, although Le Chiffre thinks he has a faster car than me, I am faster in my Lotus Formula Three. Hee, hee!"

"[To Miss Goodthighs] Look, I think I better... freshen up a bit. Quick. I'll be back in five minutes. If I'm not, start without me."

"Don't worry about that chair with a hole in the middle. It's merely waiting to be reupholstered."

"...Handle these capsules with care. Dr. Noah's bacillus is highly contagious. This germ, when distributed in the atmosphere will make all women beautiful and destroy all men over 4'6". Please handle these capsules with care."

"Oh, my love is like a red, red rose - that's newly sprung in June."

"Peter Sellers as Evelyn Tremble (James Bond/007)"

"Ursula Andress as Vesper Lynd (007)"

"David Niven as Sir James Bond"

"Orson Welles as Le Chiffre"

"Joanna Pettet as Mata Bond"

"Daliah Lavi as The Detainer/007"

"Woody Allen as Jimmy Bond/Dr. Noah"

"Deborah Kerr as Agent Mimi/Lady Fiona"

"William Holden as Ransome"

"Charles Boyer as Le Grand"

"John Huston as McTarry/M"

"Kurt Kasznar as Smernov"

"George Raft as George Raft"

"Jean-Paul Belmondo as French Legionnaire"

"Terence Cooper as Cooper (James Bond/007)"

"Barbara Bouchet as Moneypenny"

"Angela Scoular as Buttercup"

"Gabriella Licudi as Eliza"

"Tracey Crisp as Heather"

"Elaine Taylor as Peg"

"Jacqueline Bisset as Miss Goodthighs"

"Alexandra Bastedo as Meg"