First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"P. J. Byrne as Moshe Schwartz"
"The morning after the night before."
"James Marsden as Gordon"
"Tig Notaro as Impound Woman"
"Willie Garson as Dan Karlin"
"Ken Davitian as Immigrant cab driver"
"Bryan Callen as Figueroa Drug Dealer"
"Gillian Jacobs as Rose"
"Elizabeth Banks as Meghan Miles"
"Niecy Nash as Bus Driver"
"Ethan Suplee as Officer Dave"
"Kevin Nealon as Chopper Steve"
"Oliver Hudson as Kyle"
"Vic Chao as Shift Captain"
"Larry Gilliard, Jr. as Scrilla"
"Alphonso McAuley as Pookie"
"Da'Vone McDonald as Hulk"
"Bill Burr as Officer Walter"
"People say cats are clean but they're actually really filthy."
"Sarah Wright as Denise"
"Who is the woman in the yellow dress?"
"Paul Feig - Tim"
"Leah Lail - Julie"
"Allen Covert as Kenny"
"Anna Meara - Alice Bushkin"
"Jerry Stiller - Harvey Bushkin"
"Shaun Weiss - Josh Birnbaum"
"Tom Hodges - Lars"
"Tim Blake Nelson - Roger Johnson"
"Hey, don't pee in the water! [Pushes another kid in the water] Hey, don't drink the water, he peed in it!"
"Tom McGowan - Pat Finley"
"Jeffery Tambor - Maury Garner"
"Kenan Thompson - Roy"
"They never met a hot dog they didn't like... until now."
"They don't run the fastest. They don't jump the highest. But they sure are getting the last laugh."
"[searching campers for contraband, he finds a Pez dispenser hidden in Roy's sock when patting him down] Looks like my man's packing!"
"[Upon finding contraband salami] Oh look! A deli meat!"
"Attention campers. Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle. Deal with it."
"[Leading a meditation exercise] Repulse the monkey...part the wild horse's mane."
"Aaron Schwartz - Gerald "Gerry" Garner"
"Joseph Wayne Miller - Sam"
"Lauren Michelle Hill - Angelic Girl"
"Attention campers, the topic for tonight's discussion is, "Liposuction: Option or Obsession.""
"David Goldman - Nicholas"
"I'm feeling skinny, Tony!"
"Now, I must inform you, I have a severely deviated septum. When I sleep I make a very disturbing sound...Don't be alarmed, I am fine. Now…go to sleep…"
"First we're going to take an hour meditation break. Then we're going to climb that 1000-foot rock face over there with our bare hands and feet. I know you can do it, I have faith in you. But for now, observe the silence of the chi."
"Congratulations, Mr. Simms. You are the fattest boy in camp."
"[in the Camp Hell video] As a healthcare professional, I would like to take this opportunity to warn you that Tony Perkins' weight loss system is not only ineffective, it's also downright dangerous. If he isn't stopped, somebody's child, maybe *yours*, *will* be hurt."
"[to Camp MVP member after beating him in naming five American Vice Presidents] You Americans have NO sense of history."