"Sex for gay men has often been equated with a feeling of freedom and independence. For many gay men, sex with another man is often seen as the sole expression of being gay. Historically, it has not been uncommon - and there are still men who behave this way today - for men who have sex with other men to have two lives. One is the life that looks fairly ordinary to the outside observer; that is, no one would be able to look at this person and suspect anything gay about him. The other life involves the man going out looking for gay sex. This type of person probably does not identify as gay, may not have any gay friends, and does not desire a lasting relationship with another man. He just wants sex with men."