"I'm sorry! I have no excuse except that I didn't want to be embroiled in yet another murder investigation! Fact is, Macaron was one of the earliest investors in Luvver... at the time, I had absolutely no idea who he was. It was only after the app became a hit that I discovered his identity and his links with the Parisian mob! Of course, I didn't want anything to do with a gangster, so I offered to buy him out. But he refused, which is why I ended up suing him! , it's all been so stressful that I've put on over ten pounds from binge-eating figs and other expensive treats!"
January 1, 1970
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fictional_last_words_in_Criminal_Case