"Yes, so, like, I invited Norm to the bar, and got him mega-wega drunk until he passed out, the poor thing! Then I drove him out into the fields and propped him up against a tree, all tied up with rope! I spilled some of my cray-cray elixir on the ground near him, and the cute little crows just lapped it up! They killed him in no time at all. It was fabulous!"
January 1, 1970
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Fictional_last_words_in_Criminal_Case