"We are human animals and thus fear death as animals do. The so-called “will to live” is nothing more than a different name for animal instinct. I am but one of these human animals, and when I observe my loss of interest in food and women, I realize I have gradually lost this animal instinct. Now I reside in a world of diseased nerves, as translucent as ice."
January 1, 1970
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ry%C5%ABnosuke_Akutagawa