"[T]o complain in public of inequality within the private contradicts the liberal definition of the private … [I]njuries arise through violation of the private sphere, not within and by and because of it. In private, consent tends to be presumed. Showing coercion is supposed to void this presumption. But the problem is getting anything private to be perceived as coercion … [W]hy a person would “allow” force in private (the “why doesn't she leave” question raised to battered women) is a question given its insult by the social meaning of the private sphere as a sphere of choice.”"