"If there's one thing the US military enjoys more than keeping our womenfolk in silk stockings during the second world war, it's bombarding its enemies with objectively terrible music. Just last week a report crept out about a group of special psychological operations officers who drive around Afghanistan in an armoured vehicle and blast the locals with Taliban-peeving music like Metallica, Thin Lizzy and the Offspring at earth-shaking volume. The technique is called acoustic bombardment and – along with sensory deprivation and good old-fashioned sexual humiliation – is one of the military's favourite non-lethal coercion techniques. The music itself tends to be exactly the type of aggressively macho fare you'd expect. Metallica are always near the top of the pile, along with Eminem, Dr. Dre, Bruce Springsteen's Born In The USA – presumably because officers are experimenting with torture by profound lyrical sarcasm – and nonsense like Fuck Your God by gormless death metal quartet Deicide. David Gray's Babylon used to be on the playlist but it's fallen out of favour, either because Gray expressed his outrage, or because top brass realised that no crime is serious enough to warrant being made to listen to it more than once within a single lifetime. The problem with acoustic bombardment, though, is that it plainly doesn't work. Just because I'd confess to hundreds of atrocities the second that someone started flapping a copy of St Anger in my face, chances are that the Taliban probably wouldn't."