"Frederick Perls, the famous psychologist, once said that dissociation—the split between emotions and conscious thinking—begins with a parent's conditional love. Because many adults were betrayed as children—not rewarded for being themselves, always urged to "do better" however hard they tried—they find it difficult to trust that they are loved. The chain is perpetuated if they become parents because they may find it hard to accept their own children unconditionally. Not until we have discovered the extent of our own programmed fears can we forgive the imperfections and weaknesses of others. When we have touched the healthy center in ourselves, we know it exists in others, whatever their outward behavior. Consciousness enables us to care about them."