"You may have heard that at the British Press Awards|British Press Awards last week I strolled over to Piers [Morgan], the editor of the Daily Mirror, and punched him in the middle of his face. That, however, is only partly true. I also punched him on the jaw and on his cheek. Why? Well he seems to think that if someone appears on television it is all right to publish photographs of them kissing girls goodnight and appearing on the beach while fat. I disagree."