"If you look at any cult, whether it be the Hale-Bopp comet people, Scientologists, or Oprah's Book Club, you'll find several common elements, the primary one being cult members are taught to quickly withdraw into the group and distrust the outside world. Teabaggers distrust everything. They think people are coming for their guns and they shouldn't pay taxes. They're like Wesley Snipes crossed with a fat old white guy who runs a landfill. Folks, no one is coming for your guns, your Bibles, or your fishing poles. And that's not a monster under your bed, it's the Ab-Lounger you bought last year and never use. Cults are also always driven by some ridiculous, unattainable goal, like a fiery apocalypse ringing in paradise, or deficit reduction by way of giant tax cuts. You know someone has fallen into a cult if you see these signs: 1) Cults have their own vocabulary. Now I don't speak shit-kicker, but I know in their world "freedom" means guns, "diplomacy" means weakness, "elitist" means reader, and "socialist" means black; 2) Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children and to give them strange names like Moonbeam and Trig; and 3) Cult members always attribute all their problems to one simple explanation. [shows poster of Obama with Hitler mustache]"