"It’s difficult to pin down my favorite aspect of Duke Nukem Forever between the dolphin races and the gun that shoots dogs and the liberal use of full-frontal nudity, but I think the achievements deserve particular mention. It’s not just the usual token achievement every time you beat a chapter and a big one at the end, no sir, Duke Nukem Forever makes you fucking work for your gamer score. There’s the achievement for beating the final boss using only your ears; there’s the achievement for playing the whole game with the controller immersed in icy water; the achievement for placing a Wii Fit board in front of the TV and obliterating it with a croquet mallet; but the hardest one of all is the achievement for turning off the console, leaving the house, meeting a nice girl, taking a sailing boat around the world, having three beautiful blonde children, and finally dying content with an honest that you didn’t spend twelve years waiting for an utterly pedestrian sequel to a game that everyone stopped caring about circa 1997 to be released by a developer that makes John Romero look on the ball! Which is a huge challenge because if just one of those kids turns out brunette then you have to start all over again."